Gary Player bares all for ESPN: An old, naked guy-inspired caption contest

Old guys spend a lot of their time naked.  If you’ve ever visited a South Florida nursing home or your local YMCA, you’d know that.

I’m an old guy, officially one year older this weekend.  I’m not as old as Gary Player but my putter still works and I too enjoy getting naked in random places, just not in the locker room of my local Y.

ESPN the Magazine (yes, they still make magazines, woe is your neighborhood newsstand attendant) is only fifteen years old.  They celebrate nakedness annually in their Body Issue.

Serena Williams body issueThe Body Issue first came out in 2009 with Serena Williams (yum!) on the cover.  Please excuse my drool.  Since then, ESPN has featured Carl Edwards, Adrian Peterson, Dwight Howard, Gina Carano, Lolo Jones, Manny Pacquiao and countless other professional athletes who make most of our bodies, or at least mine, look rotund.

This year, ESPN the Rag continued its cutting edge issue with pictures of an old guy: Gary Player.  The only problem is the old guy looks pretty fucking good.  He’s a scratch golfer, a three time Masters champion and has less of a pot belly than most of us.  How is that fair?

Gary Player was one of the first professional golfers to incorporate workouts into his training regimen.  He maintains them to this day.  Player proudly disrobed for the photo shoot which is causing quite a stir.  As if the other featured pro athletes don’t put us all to shame, Player does so at the ripe old age of 77.

To honor his old bones and flat stomach, I thought I’d host a caption contest.  Seen below, the naked Player is holding an oversized golf ball Atlas-style over his head.  The reader who submits the best caption below will win their very own SportsChump t-shirt, which is only appropriate since Player could definitely use one to cover up.

Gary Player body issue


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28 Replies to “Gary Player bares all for ESPN: An old, naked guy-inspired caption contest”

  1. Pingback: Gary Player bares all for ESPN: An old, naked guy-inspired caption contest - BallHyped Blog Network, Golf | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  2. BTW… Reading your article brought to mind the night Arnold Palmer was scheduled to appear on Johnny Carson’s “Tonight Show” and at the last minute wasn’t available so Arnie’s wife took his place. During the course of Johnny’s interview he asked Mrs. Palmer if she ever did anything to bring her husband good luck. Without hesitating she responded, “Sometimes I kiss his balls…” To which Carson immediately replied, “That ought to make his putter stand up!” Mrs. Palmer stormed off the stage amid everyone else’s applauding laughter!

  3. Atlas Schmatlas, this may not be the earth I’m holding up but let’s see Atlas win the senior tour’s grand slam. Oh that’s right, nobody else has ever done it.

  4. I played a round of golf yesterday, Aer, in the beautiful Florida sunshine and I can honestly say, at the rate I’m going, I won’t win on the seniors tour either.

    But at least I kept my clothes on.

  5. Damn!

    The legs look familiar… third figure from the left on an evolution chart. Yep.

  6. Chris

    Player is one of a select few golfers to have won all four majors in golf . So to my mind he can do nothing wrong . Better yet , h e was one of the first golfers who raised awareness about the entrenched racial bias on the PGA Tour and the issue of apartheid in his home country of South Africa . All of this while the likes of Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus remained extremely quiet on the subject .

    So explain to me why the likes Nicklaus and Palmer would seek to remain quiet on a matter such as that ? Even when sat Charlie Sifford became the first African American player on the PGA Tour , both of these high-profiled players (Nicklaus & Palmer) made Sifford feel about as welcomed as a Klan member would welcome Malcolm X .

    tophatal ………..

  7. What I like most, Al, is that he really doesn’t take a backseat to Palmer or Nicklaus. He stands alone in his greatness yet without all the rigamarole and fanfare. Classy guy. When I went to Augusta, he drew quite a crowd. Understandably so.

  8. I dont have anything to say about this photo, Triple SC… I just wanted to wish you a happy happy birthday!! Hope you had a great one 🙂
    Dee Dee

  9. Gary Player still commands a great deal of respect , simply beyond the reverence of his peers , many of today`s players , but also the fans and even more so, because of the principles he has continually stood by .

  10. It`s going to be interesting at the British Open to see how some of the top ranked golfers fare . Woods will presumably installed as a favorite , no doubt .


  11. Chris `

    Who to your mind stands the better chance of winning the upcoming British Open ? Will it be Mickelson or Woods based on their play at present ?

    tophatal …

  12. Al…

    Tiger’s folded up in the Majors lately like a cheap suit, or a tent, or whatever they say cheap suits do.

    And if you took both Tiger and Phil or the field, who would you take? I’d have to opt for the field, no?

  13. He he…

    That ain’t bad, Bleed.

    Although I’m sure when we hit the ripe old age of 77, we wouldn’t mind looking like that.

    Shooting a round like his either.

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