After the debacle that can be commonly described the 2013 Florida football season, there is very little for anyone wearing orange and blue to smile about.
Fear not, my fellow Gator fans, for you have come to the right place. Please allow SportsChump to sprinkle a little sunshine into your already dreary lives.
As you all know, or perhaps have intentionally forgotten at this point, the Florida Gators recently lost to Georgia Southern in their eleventh game of the season. That game is their traditional tune-up before Florida State weekend and is generally scheduled with patsies U.F. pays a half a million dollars or so to come in and receive an ass-whooping. Last Saturday, Georgia Southern was no patsy; they were the ones whipping ass.
As Gainesville Sun sportswriter Pat Dooley accurately pointed out, “Georgia Southern looked like they were the better team.” That’s because they were. The Eagles from Statesboro, Georgia traveled 250 miles southward to beat the downtrodden Gators without completing a single pass or amassing a single yard in the air.
But let’s not dwell on the negative, shall we?
Here are some of the funniest thoughts, texts and Tweets that came out of the weekend that every Gator fan wants to forget.
At least we didn’t give up a single passing yard. – Steve Nelly
If Will Muschamp were coaching that Remember the Titans team in 1970s, racist Virginians would have greeted Denzel Washington with a warm welcome.
2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a dollar! All for Muschamp being fired, get up and holler! – Brian Fischler @blindgator
If Will Muschamp coached the Brooklyn Nets, do you think they’d be worse than 3-10?
Why can’t Will Muschamp use the internet? He can’t put 3 W’s together – ya gurl homes @AyeeJohnny
Thanks, Coach Muschamp, for teaching all of us what FCS stands for.
We suck in ways I can’t even speak about. – Eric Jewell aka Brotha E
The Gators football season is just about as worthless as an FSU degree. – K-Swagg™ @landers_12
Gators no longer play in the Swamp, Muschamp has renamed it the UF’s alligator farm and petting zoo. – Malcolm Marvin @malmarvjr
My guess is the last time a team won a football game without completing a single pass was either 1932 Army-Navy or any game that took place in the Big Ten in the last decade
The end is near. That’s the best thing we can say about this season. – Pat Dooley
2013 University of Florida bowl game t-shirts already available!! (then Tweets picture of blank white t-shirt) – Logan Booker @LoganBooker_BI
“As athletic director, I’m a thousand percent convinced that Will Muschamp is the guy to lead this football program.” – Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foley
I’m 2000% sure Muschamp must be fired. – Tavane Griffith @OGO5111
I’m traveling to New York this weekend and will be wearing my Gator skull cap on the subway, that way people will think I’m homeless and not mess with me
How many points will FSU need to score for Muschamp to get fired at halftime? – Scottie @Mayclorian
Will Muschamp’s thoughts on Saturday’s game against FSU: “I ain’t worried, I ain’t even game planning.” – Frank D @FrankDNole
Gators DT Damien Jacobs says he saw where UF has a 5-percent chance of beating FSU. That seems high, no? – Mark Long @APMarkLong
Criss Angel had second thoughts about walking a tightrope over a pit of alligators until watching last Saturday’s Georgia Southern game. Now he thinks it’s perfectly safe.
Man, I’m hungrier than a Florida Gators fan looking for a championship ring. – Travis Pope @travpope
To be fair, Muschamp couldn’t be expected to contend with that complex Georgia Southern offense. #nopasses – Paul Pabst @PaulPabst
How many batteries does it take to shock the Florida Gators? 1 AA – Bill Freitas, Creative Loafing
You know things have gone horribly awry if Ronald Zook is trying to reach out to William Muschamp to give him advice. – BurritoBrosShits @BurritoBrosShit
Muschamp, Ignorance is Bliss! – Bearded Feller @dhodgeky
UF’s coach needs to change his name to ‘Won’t Muschamp.’ – JMRB @SoulfulPanda
Really surprised Muschamp is going to be back for a fourth year. Are they trying to find the very, very bottom of the program? – Jason Walker@JasonWalkerSBN
“I just don’t feel like we’re that far off right now.” He must mean from last place in the SEC – Dan Wolken @DanWolken
The reasons for Florida’s loss to FCS Georgia Southern, and for this whole bowl-ineligible season, are complex and numerous and can’t possibly be boiled down to a single illustration. Oh, no, wait, they totally can – DeadSpin
Pingback: Tweeting Will Muschamp - BallHyped Blog Network, NCAA Football | BallHyped Sports Blogs
Those are brutal! I’ve got a couple that really got me laughing…
•The Gators football season is just about as worthless as an FSU degree.
•2013 University of Florida bowl game t-shirts already available!! (then Tweets picture of blank white t-shirt)
Thanks for the laughs at your school’s and Coach Muschamp’s expense!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving Chris!
You too, my brother.
Figured I’d give us at least a little something to laugh about, right?
I don’t feel your pain , because repeatedly I’ve told you , the talent just isn’t there concerning the Gators’ team and their plight has been highlighted this season with the results . Ron Zook is sitting behind a desk at a bank , now laughing his @ss off at the coaching staff , team and in particular at that moron Jeremy Foley .
You once stated that Zook at the time wasn’t winning during his tenure , but what you failed to acknowledge he was able to do , he was able to coach , recruit and get the players playing with passion . Tell me what Wil Muschamp has been able to achieve during his tenure, other than deepen the chasm for the program and indulge it now with increased mediocrity ?
Have a great Thanksgiving and my regards you and your immediate family as well as the varied patrons of your site ! Stay safe and again have a great Thanksgiving day celebration !
Yikes. Yeah… some gems in there… and the players blocking… I would have included that on Throwing Tomatoes at The Wife Hates Sports, if I had seen it sooner. It’s a comedy of errors at UF right now.
So, was posting this therapeutic, or what?
I’d lay a price that Foley keeps Muschamp another year. Besides, who’s on deck? Count on Muschamp for 2014. As far as the assistant coaches? CYA…. unless there is divine intervention versus FSU. By that I mean cover the 27.5pt underdog spread. Happy TG Chris and all that are aboard.
BTW, A guy just asked me if that Gator blocking fiasco was HOLDING? lmao!
Then why is the Gator recruiting class consistently ranked in the top five? What’s getting lost in translation?
After everything that’s happened, I just can’t get past the fact that we’re actually comparing our current coach to Ron Zook.
I honestly thought we were past all this.
It’s that kind of shit that really leads me to question Muschamp.
I don’t want to totally jump on the call-for-his-head bandwagon, as difficult as that might seem, but goodness.
If these guys don’t come out motivated to play on Saturday, and regain some sort of respect, then that has to reflect on coaching, doesn’t it?
If only I could get a moneyline on that 27.5.
Did you ever think you’d see the day a program like that would be four touchdown dogs at home?
“alligator farm and petting zoo” that is rough.
Happy Turkey Day to you and yours fine sir. Cheers!
The Gators’ recruiting class always ranked in the top five , then how does it matriculate at the end of the year by way of that record ? Please , guys like that will serve up dog crap and tell you it tastes good and it doesn’t mean a damn thing . You of all people ought to know that when it comes to sports . Explain his this to me last season’s and the previous season’s class were top five and what were the season ending records ? If you think that the Gator Bowl and Sugar Bowls are something to take pride in then so be it , but the only thing that ought to count is being a consistent . BCS championship contender . Wouldn’t you agree ? Thirty plus damn Bowl Games , of which of only one is actually worth something , by way of national championship recognition and the rest are simply ways of making the other participants feel good . What next a badge of merit to say you turned up to play ?
The likes of Kiper and McShay , much like the print periodicals can only assess , but at the end of the day , what happens on the field is what counts . This season , to your mind with an alleged recruiting class , experience , granted with the unforeseen injuries , what you witnessed , was it any way anything you’ve seen concerning the Gators’ s brand of football ?
Tell me what Muschamp has been able to achieve at all ? Then look at the way Zook was simply treated . Getting all past it ? Comparisons are going to be made whether you like it or not and that is a fact .
2013 Gators’ class
2012 Gators’ recruiting class
2011 Gators’ recruiting class
Chris, anywhere between 13-1 and 18-1 on the Gators straightup. The difference between the lay and take is criminal.
*FSU Moneyline average -30-1 (3k to win 100)
*FL Moneyline average 15-1 (100 to win 1500)
*I know you get it but explanation for non-gamers.
Your thoughts on the link provided below ? Apathy amongst the fans who seem to want to throw up stats on this particular issue as it relates nationally rather than the salient issue itself .
Courtesy of USA Today .
Trust you and the family had a great Thanksgiving ?
Good to hear from you.
Let me just say we had a feast yesterday and that it’s cold as hell in the City.
I’m bundled… and full.
Happy Thanksgiving, man.
The problem with Zook wasn’t that he couldn’t recruit. He obviously could. The problem was that those top-notch recruiting classes never translated to much success on the field. That’s certainly been the case this year under Muschamp.
Despite last year’s success, I never had much confidence in that team despite their ten win season. That showed in the big games.
I imagine Muschamp’ll be on a very short leash next season. At least I hope he will.
Are there actually casinos that will take a moneyline wager on a spread that big?
The smaller, more obscure ones, right?
That news on the arrest ratio doesn’t surprise me one bit.
Does it you?
I wonder what that ratio is for college kids in small college towns.
It’s not the ratio that’s scary, but the allegations of racial profiling in so many instances . That has to be a cause for concern , if nothing else .
The Packers looked bad against the Lions on Thanksgiving Day. Without Rodgers as the signal caller they’re extremely pitiful .
So Mavs’ owner Mark Cuban wants HGH as being standard for use in the NBA ? How long before they draw up an initiative for crack cocaine and weed ? I mean if Lamar Odom played part of the season with the Mavs “coked up ” , then I guess that explains a lot doesn’t it . The player himself confessed to that very fact . Yet nothing has been done by the league hierarchy in terms of a reprimand of Odom . The NBA remains a joke on so many levels , including its drug testing protocol .
Packers’ tight end Jermichael Finlay’s career could be over before the kid has even a chance to prove himself in the league . A spinal contusion has now left him close to being paralyzed unless he undergoes surgery . The long prognosis remains good , but no one can really be that sure .
All good things must come to an end , eventually ….
That just goes to show you how important a guy like Rodgers it to a team like Green Bay.
How many other teams could lose their starting quarterback and still be competitive, particularly if he’s one of the best in the league?
And I’m still not buying Cuban’s stance on HGH. Did you ever find a Stern response to that proposal?
What is David Stern going to say ? I mean when Odom was on the Mavs’ squad , he claimed that he played several games “coked up ” . Your thoughts on that ?
How ’bout the Nets’ Jason Kidd being fined $50 large for intentionally spilling a can of soda on court during a recent Nets’ game that resulted in a loss . He says , his ” emotions got the better of him and that he wanted to win ” . Looking at the Nets’ record at present , even if it is a work in progress , it may well take Kidd and his coaching staff longer to whip that lame team into shape than it took Michaelangelo to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel .
Buy into what Cuban is saying , because he’s deadly serious besides being a buffoon . One minute he’s saying that the government’s motives for going after him for insider trading was politically motivated . Had the US Justice Dept not been so incompetent , they would gotten their guilty verdict in the case . Which was so badly presented to begin with , that the defense attorneys blew holes in it , at almost every juncture during the proceedings .
So the pummeling at the hands of FSU will now either seal Mushchamp’s fate or prolong his career with the Gators . Your thoughts on that ?
Doing a bump before a game is on the player. I’m pretty confident Odom partaking in such activities before a game is not the first time that’s ever happened. Suggesting the league look into the benefits of HGH on its players is a totally different topic altogether.
Someone should tell Jason Kidd the league is not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe. I’d like to call Kidd’s antics industrious but rather they demonstrate how unprepared he is to coach in this league.
And like so many other Gator fans, I’m just glad this season is finally over.
Doing a bump or whatever , but at the same time the player is also on the court representing the organization . So are you suggesting that the team shouldn’t at all be concerned and no one should be held accountable other than Lamar Odom ? I mean , surely Odom’s teammates and the coaching staff at the time , had to have noticed something different about his on court demeanor ? Or is this the perfunctory side of apathy that we ought to expect from the Mavericks , league and fans themselves ? Let’s not hold anyone accountable but at the same time treat them with kid gloves’ approach . Screw that !
Who the hell was under the impression that Jason Kidd had the acumen to be a coach in the NBA , beyond his playing alleged illustrious playing career ? He served no real apprenticeship of any sort as a coach and this Nets’ team is gutless , and possesses no leadership qualities on it , whatsoever . I simply love the fact that some are trying to suggest that because team owner Mikhail Prokhorov is a billionaire , he can continue to withstand the monetary losses by the franchise each season , while paying in excess of $65 million in the league’s luxury tax . LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
Talking of being the glad, the season is over , so too are Nick Saban , kickers Adam Griffith and Cade Foster are said to be ecstatic . Saban once again showing his outsized ego knows no limits whatsoever . Neither of the kickers mentioned , have kicked a field goal over the range of fifty yards the entire Tide season and Saturday was the time he felt it was worth the effort to make such a decision . LOL,LOL,,LOL !!!!
You mentioned in comment on my post you began to see a turnaround concerning the Bucs ? A bit short-lived wasn’t it ? You obviously overlooked the fact that they would be running into (27-6) the buzz-saw now known as the Panthers ? What the hell were you thinking ?
Kinda 50-50 on joints that use huge monelines.
Jason Kidd? The Russian set him up to fail.
Racial profiling? Not only blacks but hispanics are randomly targeted for interstate road stops.
I’m suggesting that all need to be held accountable for their actions. No one gets a pass. Lamar is obviously troubled and, like T.O., we don’t know exactly what is going on with that kid.
Speaking of kid, I have no idea why Kidd was hired to coach that Brooklyn Nets team. I’m not sure who was consulting Mikhail Prokhorov or how active he is in actually managing that team. I can tell you that it appears that who he hired to coach them, and who he contracted to play for them, is clearly not working. On the flipside, the Pacers are 16-1. Maybe he should have hired Larry Bird, huh?
This year’s Auburn-Alabama game was a classic for the ages, one that Tide fans will rue over for generations. That wouldn’t have happened had Saban expected that kick to come short and had the field covered to prevent any such runback. Three-peating is tough in any sport, especially college football.
Fortunately, my buddy in Vegas had enough sense not to place my Gators moneyline wager. Although I did want to put it together with a Auburn moneyline upset which would have paid, I imagine, pretty damn nice, had of course the Gators not shit the bed.
Speaking of the Russian, and I guess we should also be asking ourselves, I know the Nets aren’t winning, but are they making any money?
Bets, are you Latin? No wonder we get along.
Larry Bird can do all of the above , in terms of coaching , assessing talent and assembling a team . He’s happy being in Indiana , doing what he does best , having stepped down from his current role once before , for health reasons and to be with his family .
The Nets are complete mess and much like everything else in NYC when it comes to sports . They tend to do things big and when it fails miserably the finger pointing begins . By mid-season a noose will be placed in the rafters of the Barclays Center for Jason Kidd .
So Michael Jordan is to be a father again at age 50 ? Tell me that this is not his idea , in seeking to father a son who he hopes one day , will play for the Bobcats ? LOL,LOL,LOL !!! Neither of his male sons , Jeffrey or Marcus Jordan , seem to be cutting it on any level as college players .
I see the Bucs turnaround has begun ? And they serve up another loss . Cam Newton took pity on Bucs’ defense on Sunday . The Panthers could easily have put up another twenty points on the team without actually breaking sweat.
Indiana is 16-1, Al.
With no flash, this team has the imprint of Larry Bird all over it.
I don’t know if they’re good enough to topple the Heat but they’re really damn good.
Jordan’s popping another one out? Good for him. Everyone welcome the new baby Jordan.
Cam and the Panthers are on fire, Al. Perhaps it’s time for the Buccaneers to just acknowledge that Carolina is the better team.
Carolina might now prove themselves to be the best team in the NFC South if they topple the Saints this weekend .
Love to see Urban Meyer , get his comeuppance as the Buckeyes get toppled in the Big Ten championship game . Now it looks as if the BCS poll will be been turned on its ear once again .
Carolina got it handed to them, Al. As we expected, New Orleans is once again the class of that division.
And let’s just say, despite Florida State winning handily and having the opportunity to play for a national championship, there were a lot of happy Gator fans when Urban Meyer lost to Michigan State.
Well Jay Jacobs , AD of Auburn has his wish after that deftly display of incompetence by Ohio State . I guessed you must’ve been laughing your @ss off as Urban Meyer could not lead his team to that much needed victory against Michigan State .
Michigan St laid out the Buckeyes in more ways than one during that game .
The Carolina and Saints’ game . came down more to the experience of the two quarterbacks involved in that contest . Consider the fact , that during the match-up, Brees surpassed 50,000 passing yards for his career . Meanwhile , for Newton , he can only dream of having the type of success that Drew Brees has accumulated .
Career passing yards and active career passing yards .
Not only were Gator fans ecstatic, but I hear that Urban Meyer gave a ‘shout-out’ to some of his now former friends in Gainesville as well as congratulating the Noles on their effort . LOL,LOL,LOL !!! If he (Meyer) were invited to return the UF campus , to perhaps give a commencement speech , I wonder what type of reception he would receive ? Oh , never mind , I already know that you’d be lobbing a brick and some #hit at the #astard , to begin with .
Great season for the UCF Golden Knights (11-1) and the fact that they will not only be in a Major Bowl Game , but their likely season end ranking which is likely to be a top twenty-five spot .