SportsChump Motion Pictures presents The Rodman Supremacy

Rodman Supremacy copyThe pierced, black giant strutted into the Oval Office as if he felt perfectly at home there.  He and the president had been friends dating back to their Chicago days although few knew the extent of their relationship.  Even then, the former Senator had plans to preside over the Oval Office… and clandestine plans for his friend.  Deep down inside, he knew his bond with the former Bull and rebounder extraordinaire would eventually pay dividends.

He just never knew in what capacity… until now.

Relations with North Korea had soured with rumors of weapons of mass destruction chilling the headlines of every major American news outlet.  There was only one way to solve this, the two agreed: employing one of the greatest rebounders off all time to squelch the issue.  Rodman had already befriended the North Korean president.  The President would use that to his advantage.

“Good afternoon, Mr. President,” greeted Rodman, his voice slightly muffled from all the piercings in his lip.

“Good afternoon to you, sir,” returned the President.  The two shared an embrace with Rodman towering nearly a foot over the most powerful man on the planet.  “Thanks for coming on such short notice.  You know we have a job to do.”

“And I’m prepared, sir.  As you can see, I’ve already scheduled my hair appointment for the trip.  I think the bold, fascist red is a nice touch, don’t you?”

“Ah yes, Dennis.  It reminds me of your good ol’ days in Chicago.”  The president looked over his recruit’s new hairdo, fondly reminiscing of the time when his Chicago Bulls were pinning banner after banner to their rafters.  Rodman wasn’t the President’s best option; he was his only option.

“Things have gotten dangerous along the 38th parallel, Dennis.  It’s up to us, to you, good sir, to stop it.”

Dennis Rodman in North Korea

“The what?” Dennis asked.

“The 38th parallel north. It’s the line that… oh never mind.  Look, the relations you’ve already established with Kim Jong-Un can work in our favor.  How do you think we proceed from here?”

“Well, Mr. President,” responded Rodman, “I was thinking about taking some old school ballers from back in the day to hold a peaceful exhibition game.  Vin Baker, Charles Smith and Kenny Anderson have all agreed to make the trip with me, sir.”  The president couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing he had more game than any of the three former NBA stars, but he also knew they were expendable.  Nobody would miss them when they were gone.  Heck, nobody even knew they still existed.  Casualties of war.

“That’s perfect, Dennis.  And then?”

“Well, then I just jibber-jabber a lot and hold hands with the president, you know how good I am at that, have a few dinners and such.  Then I convince my boy Kim that round ball is the true essence of bringing peace to our planet.”  Some of Phil Jackson’s kumbaya had obviously rubbed off on Rodman over the years.  This crazy old plan just might work after all.

“Then it’s settled.  Travel safely, my friend.”  The president bid his old friend farewell, slightly nervous of the outcome but knowing, if nothing else, at least we’d be rid of Rodman forever.

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21 Replies to “SportsChump Motion Pictures presents The Rodman Supremacy

  1. Pingback: SportsChump Motion Pictures presents The Rodman Supremacy - BallHyped Blog Network, NBA | BallHyped Sports Blogs

  2. Chris

    Great in his heyday as a player but now , Dennis Rodman has become a comic caricature and an unmitigated disaster as a human being father , husband and a person in general . Tell me how the hell this guy believes himself to be doing anything worthwhile , having abandoned his ex-wife and child , owing over $100k in child support and alimony and it’s now being reported that he owes the IRS a considerable sum in back taxes .

    I doubt that prior to his first visit , Rodman would have known where the ###k North Korea was located , much less who the actual leader of the country was said to be !

    A repressive and oppressive regime such as North Korea , yet I seriously doubt that Rodman has ever offered any help or assistance to US military vet . About the only commendable thing I can say positively about the former NBA player was the very fact that he at the time paid for the funeral expenses of James Byrd (Texas native) who was dragged to his death by bunch of racist Texas bigots several years back , when Byrd’s family were unable to meet the funeral expenses at the time of death .

    tophatal .,………………

  3. Thw Worm is a certified wingnut, that much is evident. As the years pass, he for some reason feels the need to remind us all of that fact…As if we’d forget.

    However, ON THE COURT the man was a great competitor and truly one of the best rebounders ever…He also nailed Carmen Electra and actually “broke” his penis in some who-knows-wtf-kind of sex act. Admirable…I think…

    He’s a joke now, but also the undisputed trendsetter for the NBA fashion statement of choice…The tattoo.

    I’d venture to say there’s more NBAers with ink than without. That credit belongs solely to Rodman.

    …And a freak shall lead them.

    Maybe that’s why he and KimJunWTFeverhisnameis get along so well.

    The attention whore is still getting his attention, he’s just taking it to dangerous levels these days and playing with fire that might burn him in ways he could never fathom.

    Just ask Kim’s uncle about that one.

  4. Al…

    Rodman is clearly a troubled soul, and an alcoholic to boot. I’m not sure what he has to gain with this whole North Korea thing. It’s all just weird.

    What we really should be asking ourselves is why the hell Kim Jong Un gives a shit about Rodman in the first place. I know we were all Bulls fans back in the day but damn. Did he invite him over there to sign his rookie card or something?

    Besides, I read above that the President sent him over there on a mission. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  5. Which raises an extremely valid question, Bleed.

    Which would you rather? Bang Carmen Elektra (without breaking your penis) or lead the NBA in rebounding for a season?

    Careful, because that is a trick question.

  6. Neil…

    That’s almost a game I’d pay to see.

    Not much though.

    If I wanted to check out a bunch of overweight has-beens run up and down the court, I’d go to 50-plus night at my local Y.

  7. Chump, nice pass at being a novelist. And an international conspiracy theory to boot? How quaint.

    Rodman, while being an outstanding rebounder, has always been a divisive player who’s appallingly limited intellect and tendency to promote chaos were the bane to his teammates. All about “the worm” which has clearly made inroads through his brain.

    OTOH, he DID nail fellow fame whore Carmen Electra so despite my aversion to all things moronic, I do give him props for that set of deeds. While dumber than a brick herself, she is one fine specimen.

    BleedPRPL&GOLD got it right about Kim’s uncle getting wasted in short order. Wonder if the Worm ever considered that? Oh that might require free floating neurons…

    but back to Obomba…

  8. Easy choice. Lead the NBA in rebounding.

    As much as I think Carmen is hot, she’s been passed around more than a joint at Woodstock at this point. Besides, if a 5’9″ 180lb white guy lead the NBA in rebounding in this day and age, I’d be so famous that groupies would flock to my bed faster than hair dye flocks to Rodman’s head.

  9. Wise choice, Bleed.

    Leading the league in rebounding would automatically garner you that sort of action, even more so at 5’9″.

    Let me know if you need a fashion consultant, he he.

  10. I can deduce Homeland Security was quite pleased to stamp that approval for Dennis to go to North Korea. The hope being he’d stay. I worry about the mental health of those who accompanied him to such an unstable environment where the US Government would surely consider anyone who got into trouble there invisible. Try and “rebound” from that scenario.

  11. Hence the fact that they’re all secret agents, perfectly hypnotized and trained to take down the minister or Micronesia, he he. Please excuse the Zoolander reference.

    Either way, Burnsy, a one-way ticket is most certainly in order.

  12. Chris

    Rodman and the North Korean leader , Kim Jong Un must be hanging around in the same social chat-rooms . That’s got to be how they actually met and became such fast friends .

    If Bazza sent Dennis Rodman on a mission to North Korea , it can’t be to find WMD’s . I mean , in terms of a defined foreign policy the POTUS is as clueless as his predecessor .

    I hear that Spike Lee has spoken to Ray Allen about reprising his role as Jesus Shuttlesworth for a sequel to the movie ” He’s Got Game ” ? I wonder if Dwyane Wade will get a supporting cast role as the dude laying the “wood” to several chicks , while having relationship problems with his fiancee’ ?

    I see that the BBWAA (Baseball Writers’ Assoc of America) are angry that one of their members Dan Le Batard sold his Hall of Fame vote to . This being the same journalistic institution that turned its back on reporting the steroid era in baseball once the stories were in full flow . What a bunch of frigging hypocrites ! The same can be said of Le Batard and his explanation for his actions ( stating that he simply wanted to show the system was flawed). He denies any monetary gain , but the website states categorically that money exchanged hands , though no amount has been mentioned . If that were the case , then why did he (Le Batard) not simply write an op-ed column in the Miami Herald (where he’s still employed) or have a discussion of the matter on his radio show in the Miami media market or as a guest one of the many ESPN show he’s been known to appear on ? Le Batard is a gutter snipe and a frigging douche .

    tophatal ………..

  13. Al…

    LeBatard’s already made a name for himself. I’m pretty sure the guy’s not hurting for cash with his recent success. He’s a big deal down in Miami and has been for some time.

    I may be wrong but I honestly doubt that he pulled that latest Hall of Fame voting stunt for publicity alone. My guess is, like everyone else, he’s fed up with the holier than thou stance of the baseball writers and Hall of Fame and decided to mix things up a bit.

    And if money did change hands, then aren’t those who vote for the Hall of Fame as corrupt as those they deny entry?

  14. Tophatal, holy cow its fun to read you go off tangent faster than anyone else I read… but entertaining! And provocative. And a wee bit opinionated… LOL and no while Obomba might have sold out like Dubya he still not THAT stupid.

    Chump, I heard that Pete Rose is giving 8:5 odds that he’ll be able to buy his way into the HoF next year! These BBWAA writers are so hypocritical

  15. Chris

    The BBWAA are not holy , but Le Batard’s decision was idiotic and simply made no damn sense . If he really wanted to expose the system as being flawed , as I said , then why not write an op-ed piece in the Miami Herald or debate the issue on his local Miami radio show or have the issue debated on ESPN ? Dan Le Batard may well have graduated with a degree in journalism from the University of Miami , but the guy is a bona-fide @sshole and a frigging moron !

    Le Batard’s explanations as to his actions were contrived and made absolutely no damn sense at all . Off course this idiot took the money and ran . Why the hell would the website ( reiterate that there was a monetary exchange and the individual who sold their vote ?

    I’ve met him (Le Batard) at several public functions on the Canes’ campus and he much like A Rod , are simply narcissistic morons .

    Thankfully , the BBWAA took away Dan Le Batard’s right to vote .

    Let me pose this question also . If there’s still this persistence for Rose’s inclusion in the Hall by a mass of fans after he knowingly broke the rules ? Then why are they also so adamant against the likes of Bonds , Sosa , Palmeiro , and McGwire’s inclusion in Hall of Fame ?

    Money breeds corruption and we’re talking baseball , a sport built on no goddamn principals whatsoever
    . Look at the timeline and the course of its history ? Racism , corruption and cheating are but a few of the issues that have sent the sport spiraling into ineptitude and mediocrity . Not one of the commissioners have ever truly sought to address any of the real issues that affects or has affected the game .

    Year in and year out all Selig can point to as a positive , seems to be commemorating Jackie Robinson Day . He’s still yet to address the declining numbers of not just African American players in the game at the Major League level , but also within the minors and at the Collegiate Level also . Consider the fact that these three teams ( Dodgers, Mets and Yankees) collectively over the past five year alone , have spent over $150 million on academies in the Caribbean and Latin America . Kind of makes you wonder what direction Bud Selig now wants the game to go in doesn’t it ? How is it that fans can ignore that , but get excited over the idiocy of instant replay ? LOL,LOL,LOL !!!

    tophatal ………..

  16. LeBatard came off as self-serving, Al. More people were talking about his move than were talking about the people who actually got voted in.

    There’s so much wrong with baseball, I wouldn’t know where to start. Oh wait, yes, I would, how about getting a new commissioner?

    And you’re right about reaching out to local youth. If the game has seen a sharp decline in its African-American players, then why not do something about it?

    Kids in the Dominican grow up playing for the love of the game. I’m not convinced youth in this country love baseball like they used to.

  17. Pingback: Sports Chump » SportsChump Motion Pictures proudly presents Alejandro

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