White lies and White-out: All one needs to become a college head coach

“Have you ever been experienced?  I have.”

–          Jimi Hendrix

George OLeary Notre DameThe first time I can recall hearing that a coach had lied about his job experience involved George O’Leary.

It was 2001 and O’Leary was applying for the head coaching position at Notre Dame.  I’m pretty sure you guys have heard of that school.

O’Leary was actually hired on as their head football coach… for five days.  He then resigned after admitting he had lied on his resume.  A local newspaper trying to do a feature on O’Leary discovered the mistruths that led to his resignation.  O’Leary has since cleaned up his resume (not sure if he includes the five day stint at Notre Dame on there) and has gone on to build a successful program at the University of Central Florida.

All of us are guilty of embellishing upon our past responsibilities when preparing for our next job interview but the majority of us aren’t in the spotlight, applying for major college coaching positions, with the understanding that said background check would undergo the strictest of scrutiny.

The reason I bring this up is because it has happened again, right here in my home town, blocks away from where I live.

Steve MasielloFormer (or current, we’re not sure which) Manhattan Jaspers coach Steve Masiello was applying to a job that I’m pretty sure I qualify for, that being the men’s head basketball coach at the University of South Florida.  The only problem is that Masiello, like O’Leary before him, lied about his experience.  On his resume, Masiello listed that he had graduated from the University of Kentucky, which he did not.  According to ESPN.com, Masiello and his agent have declined to comment.  (And for the record, if USF caught this mistake, why didn’t Manhattan or are their hiring practices not as stringent?  Or did Masiello just hire a new resume writer?)

As I said earlier, we’ve all taken a few liberties when describing our job histories to potential employers.  We’ve fudged a few dates and perhaps glossed up a job title or two but this is big time college athletics, stuff that’s in the public eye.  Why would coaches lie about a degree or a previous coaching position knowing it will eventually bite them in the ass?  We can all agree that the NCAA doesn’t believe that honesty is the best policy, however, those in a position of molding young men should probably stray from the example their employer has set.

According to the job description, the USF head coaching position “requires a Master’s degree in an appropriate area of specialization and six years of coaching experience at the high school level or above; or a bachelor’s degree in an appropriate area of specialization and eight years of experience at the high school level or above.”

wite outOkay, I’ve got the degrees and um… one year experience coaching youth basketball.  But I could easily change that one to a six or an eight.  All I need is some magical O’Leary-Masiello White-Out and I’m in like Flynn.

I’m pretty sure I couldn’t outwit or out-recruit Rick Pitino or Billy Donovan or Tom Izzo but the USF basketball program is in shambles.  They won three conference games this year.  They finished the season on a nine-game losing streak.  They literally ranked 296th in points scored last season.  They lost to Louisville twice by over 25 points each time and lost to UConn by 43.  I’ll tell you what.  I may not be able to beat a Kevin Ollie-coached team but I’ll be damned if my players are going to lay down to ANYONE by 43 points.

Basically, this program couldn’t do any worse.

So I hereby submit my application to the University of South Florida to become their next head basketball coach.  Their former coach, the recently fired Stan Heath, was making over a million dollars a year.  That’s about $333,000 per conference win.  I’ll do it for half that, less with incentives.  Just think of the positive attention such a bizarre hire would bring to the university.  Major college program hires ravishingly handsome, no-name to turn things around.

Sure, they wouldn’t have an “experienced” guy roaming their sidelines but at least they’d have a guy who didn’t lie during his job interview.

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29 Replies to “White lies and White-out: All one needs to become a college head coach”

  1. You callin’ me an embellisher? Why I’ve whipped 5 NFL linemen at once you little wimp… I had them all tied up and cryin’ for their mamas… Got that? Now where were we?

    All I can say is however the Glazers got their bucks they musta cheated! They could do a lot worse that hiring George O’Leary… Liar or not he’s a helluva coach! Have a nice day…

  2. These guys applying for these positions , are they under the impression that their resume`s won’t be checked ?

    It seems wherever O’Leary has coached in recent years , some type of controversy hasn’t been that far behind , in catching up with him . The Erik Planscher tragedy alone to my mind is enough for me to be weary of the coach and his actions , because I still find it unfathomable that neither he or any of his coaching assistants , were said to be unaware of the player’s prior medical history and the ongoing denials within the athletics department at UCF .

  3. Al…

    We both know that controversy has a way of being swept under the rug when the wins come along and O’Leary did just that this year. UCF came from out of nowhere. Heck, his quarterback Bortles might be a top ten pick. Had anybody heard of him before this season?

  4. Chris

    Don’t get me wrong Bortles has had a great season along with the the UCF Bulls , but my issue with the Planscher tragedy was the level of incompetency shown by the athletics department and the AD ! I thought the Veterans’ Administration was bad having dealt with them on behalf US veterans .

    Here was I thinking that Rodman was the only damn moron out there with a ” bro-mance ” for a lunatic politician and along comes overweight action movie star Steven Seagal . Only he could think that Putin’s actions are justified and done without malice .

    If a tree falls in the woods can it he heard from afar

    It is what it is ! Your thoughts on this also ?

  5. Still think that the Jim Irsay problem should be left for law enforcement only to deal with ? Now comes the issue of his also being found http://sports.yahoo.com/news/police-colts-owner-had-29k-122119696–nfl.html> with over $29 K in cash at the time of his being stopped by the cops . Midnight grocery shopping is it , or paying off some gambling bills and his drug supplier ? Your thoughts on the incompetency of the NFL and within the Colts’ organization with regard to the owner ? I’m surprised Limbaugh hasn’t jumped to the defense of his close friend . LOL,LOL,LOL !!!

  6. Atleast it gave Willingham a chance. Although batting slightly over 500 aint gonna do it at the Golden Dome.

    Kinda reminds me of former NYC Police commish Bernie Kerik accepting the job as Homeland Security Head. That was a ‘nice’ vetting job by the Bush admin. lmao

  7. Bortles might just be the first pick of the draft… He flows with the type of offense the Texans operate. It’s not far fetched…

  8. Chris

    Great win for the Gators last night (Thursday) !

    Baylor took one on the chin and never got back up against Wisconsin !

    Friday’s game between Kentucky and Louisville , who do you favor in that contest ? Given the egos of the two opposing coaches , I’d say that it will be also more about Calipari and Pitino , as much as , what is at stake !

    Miguel Cabrera is now set to become the highest paid player (annual salary) in baseball ? He’s on the verge of signing an ten-year $248 million deal with the Tigers . He still has $44 million left on his existing contract .

    Do you believe Cabrera to be a future Hall of Fame caliber player given his stats in comparison to his …. peers ?

    tophatal ……………….

  9. Sounds like Irsay was definitely out to have a good time, Al.

    Let me ask you. What exactly does one do on a night out in Indianapolis with $29,000 in cash?

    Oh, and you need to stop taking political advise from Dennis Rodman.

  10. Bets…

    Poor Tyrone.

    But you’re right. .500 ain’t gonna cut it.

    Speaking of coaching, I wonder how things are gonna change at Northwestern now that their coach is technically their “boss.”

  11. Dwin…

    You’re right, man. It’s not. This might be a solid draft for quarterbacks but are any of them surefire number one picks?

    Here’s a list of the quarterbacks taken one since 2000. You tell me how they did.

    2001 – Michael Vick
    2002 – David Carr
    2003 – Carson Palmer
    2004 – Eli Manning
    2005 – Alex Smith
    2007 – JaMarcus Russell
    2009 – Matthew Stafford
    2010 – Sam Bradford
    2011 – Cam Newton
    2012 – Andrew Luck

    Where do you think Bortles, or even Manziel for that matter, would fall in that list?

  12. Gators look good, Al. As I’ve said all along, I think this team wins the whole enchilada.

    I actually had Wisconsin making the Final Four in most of my brackets so their success doesn’t surprise me that much.

    And re: Kentucky/Louisville, I’m actually more interested in the UVA/Michigan State game. Either way, both of them should be doozies.

  13. I’m not taking advice from Rodman , it’s actor Steven Seagal , who’s professing Putin to be a great leader and statesman .

    The Gators now have the tournament at their beckoning and the only thing that can derail their hopes is simple complacency on the part of the coaching staff and players .

    Let me pose this question , with the Sixers (15-57) , now having lost twenty-six consecutive games and the front office having gutted the team prior to and during the season . Why is it that the NBA hierarchy have not seen fit to conduct any type of inquiry into the ongoing fraud that has been perpetrated by the organization ? Bear in mind also , even if they end up with the worst record in the NBA , it is by no means a guarantee that they will end up with the number one draft pick for this upcoming NBA Draft . Team owner , Josh Harris and Stan Hinkie are obviously imbeciles , if that is said be the premise that they’re currently working under !

    Rookie head coach Brett Brown and his coaching staff were intentionally set up for failure from the very beginning .

    If a tree falls in the woods, can it be heard from afar ?

    tophatal …………

  14. Al…

    The mere image of you, Rodman and Seagal out on a night on the town in Dundee cracks me up. Good thing Rodman brings his own personal bartender around with him. Or at least he used to.

    I should remind you that the Gators had this tournament at their beckoning from the very beginning. They were the best team of the bunch and anyone who though differently was mistaken.

    I don’t know much about the 76ers and their ownership but clearly, they’re as incompetent as the staff and players they put together to represent them.

    I say operation clean sweep should be in order. Allen Iverson is probably rolling over in his grave right now.

  15. Politically I’m no savant ! It went with the territory while studying both at LSE and UCL because of the work I was involved in (investment banking after the military ) , which is still part of my vocation as of now ( int’l corp governance).

    So the Jaguars are intent on stripping away their roster , having allowed Jones-Drew to leave and where he’s now joined the Raiders . How’s that going to work actually concerning Oakland with the group of quarterbacks that they now have on the roster ? And will they actually draft another one to go alongside a geriatric like Matt Schaub and the overrated , Terrelle Pryor ?

    How ’bout Carl Crawford ( career .292 hitter) now being a father , having impregnated Ochocinco’s ex , Evelyn Lozado (pics inset) ?

    tophatal ………

  16. Chris

    The Sixers’ front office have to be proud of themselves , tanking their season , losing twenty-six straight games , new franchise and league record . And the team , even if it finishes with the worst record in the NBA , their not guaranteed of getting the # pick in the upcoming draft . Explain to me how the NBA is meant to have been so exciting with many of the changes instigated by Stern in his thirty years as commissioner ? Other than the wealth spread amongst the players and teams , would you say the play overall is actually better , given that currently there might be only six teams in the league actually worth a damn in terms of their play and depth in terms of players ?

  17. The Sixers finally won one tonight, Al. And ownership is trying to tell their fans he thinks they’re on the right path.


    I only saw highlights from the game as a) I was at work b) I was mostly focused on the Gator game and c) why the hell would anyone in their right mind watch a team that’s just lost 26 straight games, but I did. Michael Carter-Williams is a nice little player.

    They’ll obviously end up with no worse than the number four pick in this year’s draft. But who will they choose to build around?

    Speaking of building around, whoever the Jaguars choose better like playing in Los Angeles… or London.

    We all knew Carl Crawford was nice, man. Keep in mind, he’s the Rays’ all-time hit leader. Everyone in the area was sad to see him go but such is the way of the Rays.

  18. Chris

    The Sixers’ fans may well have thought previous owner , Harold Katz who Ed Stefanski may well have been viewed as a pompous @ssholes , but current owner , Joshua Harris and GM Stan Hinkie are proving that zombies do exist and that they’re running and ruining the 76ers one game at a time . Carter-Williams once his contract is up will want no part of the franchise . They have a rookie coach in Brett Brown who couldn’t find his way in or out of a brothel , without the use of a handwritten note in Crayola .

    Crawford’s getting his hits in , both on and off the baseball diamond . Who knew that all Ocho’s ex was looking for , was someone to impregnate her ? But as usual Chad dropped the ball and fumbled there, as well . CC has his contract and Lozado has hers (tv reality likely spin-off) and her business ( fashion boutique) in Miami .

    As good as the Gators have been all season long , there were only three teams I thought might be able to give them trouble . Two met with Kentucky prevailing over Louisville . The other being Michigan St led by Tom Izzo .

    I know MLB agent Scott Boras has clout , but it was sheer idiocy of him to advise client Max Scherzer of the Tigers to tun down the team’s offer of six-years and $144 million .

  19. Scherzer better pray for an injury-free season, Al, but as I mentioned over on your site, it’s probably only a matter of time before he’s pitching in pinstripes.

    Two more games to go for Florida.

    I don’t think this team fears anything or anyone at this point and if Michigan State pulls off a victory today, that might very well be your championship game.

  20. If you have Scott Boras as your agent ( the guy who got both the Rangers and Yankees to fork over $250 million twice for services rendered ([A Rod’s two contract]) and who made Albert Belle the first $10 million a year player . You would think that Max Scherzer would want to simply take the money and run , because that is likely to be the best offer the Tigers will make . Dave Dombrowski is not the type of guy , you try to bluff , when you have nothing to play with . Scherzer should take into account , how the team got rid of Prince Fielder , in shipping his @ss off to Texas.

  21. That’s a lot of damn coin, Al. I just don’t see how someone could pass that amount up or how much he actually thinks he’ll be able to get elsewhere.

    I say strike while the iron is hot.

    He blows his arm out this season and say bye bye to anything even close to that offer.

  22. Scherzer turns down that type of deal but Mike Trout takes the deal offered to him by the Angels , now knowing that he doesn’t have anything to worry about and he’s now secure for life . Within two years Trout will be pulling down close to $12 million a year in endorsements . There is no other player in baseball earning that type of “coin” by way of commercial endorsements other than Jeter . A Rod received the bulk of his annual earnings by way of his salary . He simply wasn’t marketable or likeable enough and in essence always came across as a self-absorbed and conceited ##stard .

    Can you believe that there are some people trying to suggest that with the Sixers tanking their season it will be good for the organization ? Even if they get either Jabari Parker or Andre Wiggins , that is still a hopeless lineup . Especially when you consider that rookie head coach Brett Brown was in over his head this season along with his coaching staff . Are Sixers’ fans anal retentive ?

    Josh Harris the team’s owner made fortune as a venture capitalist but he’s running that franchise like a corner shop convenience store selling crap at sky-high prices . Only die-hard and long-starved fans are turning up to watch the team play while they have home games , thankfully .

    Added responses to the comments you left concerning the most recent pieces .

    Who says the nation’s greatest pastime is dead ?

    If a tree falls in the woods can it be heard from afar ?

  23. Here’s the thing. They wanted to hire the guy because he could coach basketball at a high level. We forget most of what we learned in education shortly after being educated whether we complete the process or not. My wife has fifteen years of solid accounting experience but didn’t get her Bachelors. She’s automatically eliminated from many opportunities because of that and that’s absurd. The difference here of course is our Manhattan candidate did indicate he had completed the process. While he should get the job without the degree the fact he indicated he had it can’t be dismissed…and therefore he must be. You can’t bring someone on board right off the bat with a fraud asterisk by his name.

  24. Al…

    I don’t know where our priorities are but if I were an athlete, even one at the highest level, and happy with the team and the city where I was playing, why wouldn’t I just go ahead and sign a large deal like the one that Trout signed?

    I guess we’ll just have to see what happens in the long run with Scherzer.

    Let me ask you this re: the Sixers.

    You’re their GM. Who do you take with that first pick assuming all the fab freshmen decided to leave college early?

  25. Burnsy…

    The most disappointing part about this all is that I didn’t get the job.

    USF went ahead and gave it to Orlando Antigua.

    Next time, I’ll be sure to put you down as a reference.

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