Sports Snobbery, Episode Two: Dwyane Wah-Day

high fidelityI started a series a while back that I haven’t followed up on lately.  I hadn’t felt the need… until now.  The series, which I like to call Sports Snobbery, is loosely based on High Fidelity, a film in which the three record store workers judge their clientele by the music they listen to.

Most, but not all, of my friends are knowledgeable sports fans which means we’ll sometimes mock those who are, shall we say, less informed in the ways of the sporting world.  Sure we might not be able to intelligently engage in the goings on in the Middle East but who the hell wants to talk about that stuff anyway?

miami heat white outI was at social gathering the other day and I happened to be wearing a t-shirt that I got from a Miami Heat playoff game.  As is the norm in South Beach’s American Airlines Arena, the team likes to host a “White Out” where all their fans wear white.  On that particular night, to promote their white out, the Heat gave out complimentary white t-shirts that simply said “WADE” in bright orange and red letters.  It’s actually a pretty nice t-shirt, especially considering it was free.  They must have felt bad about charging us fifty dollars for two post-game cocktails at the Dewars Lounge.

So I wore the t-shirt to the gathering, not realizing it would be a conversation starter, not to mention the topic for Sports Snobbery, Part Deux.  Little did I know.

He seemed like a nice enough guy: a little younger, clearly geeky, an intellectual type, pursuing a post-graduate degree.  He wasn’t, however, intellectual enough to have ever heard of Dwyane Wade.  I guess he was absent the day they taught NBA in junior high school.

Dwyane Wade GQNow again, I’m biased.  I know who these people are, their alma maters, heck, I even know their scoring averages per game.  Dwyane Wade is a three-time NBA Champion.  He’s a Finals MVP.  He is the Robin to LeBron’s Batman (or vice versa, depending on whom you ask).  He has graced the cover of GQ and countless other magazines.   He’s engaged to Gabrielle Union.  He’s probably one of the five most recognizable faces in the NBA.

That being said, this guy sees my t-shirt, which clearly says “WADE” on it and asks me “What’s Wah-Day?” as if he had once been ridiculed for mispronouncing Sade.

Now, I could have been mean but I chose not to.  Surely this guy must know plenty of things that I don’t.  But unfortunately for him, I run a sports website and he doesn’t.

I mean, even if he hadn’t heard of Dwyane Wade before, which I would imagine is perfectly possible for anyone who hasn’t owned a television in the past ten years, who the hell pronounces Wade Wah-Day?

WadeIt’s what ducks do in a pond.  It’s what I do in a pool.  It is one of the most controversial court cases in our nation’s history.  Who the hell mispronounces Wade?

Maybe it’s Dwyane Wade’s fault for only having played in fifty games this season.  The guy is 32 going on 52.  Or maybe the guy’s just not marketing himself enough.  Now THAT’s funny.

I could see where if his first name were on the t-shirt (oddly spelled Dwyane), how that could be mispronounced.  But it wasn’t.  Wade was.  Or to some… Wah-Day.

The next time I wore the t-shirt, I was at my local supermarket.  The cutest, little eight year old boy saw my t-shirt, walked up to me, nodded coolly and said “Dwyane Wade.  Nice t-shirt.”

Someone give that kid a degree.

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30 Replies to “Sports Snobbery, Episode Two: Dwyane Wah-Day”

  1. Pingback: Wild Thing Fantasy Football » Sports Snobbery, Episode Two: Dwyane Wah-Day

  2. Well, the cold reality is even though we crazed sports enthusiasts cannot possibly fathom a sporting-free life being one fully lived…most folks just don’t watch sports. It was kind of you to take the high road…the road less traveled by most people…as nonsensical as it seems to us. We live and breathe this stuff…others not at all.

  3. I was a WADE fan when he carried a Marquette team. NOW? Come on Chris let’s talk alcohol rather than a mega million $ aging superstar that lets a punk like Rondo embarrass him on national tv. How? That school yard in bounds off of DW’s back and in for a layup. Rondo never paid for that bush league manuever.
    No Augusta for you this year? Enjoyed your piece it last year.

  4. Chris, that’s a funny story!

    Well told and easy to visualize.

    Keep them coming!


  5. Bets…

    I didn’t win the Augusta lottery this year… unfortunately.

    But I did shoot an 86 today and I did save 15% on my insurance by switching to GEICO.

    Just kidding. I’m already covered by GEICO and they charge me an arm and a leg because they can.

    But I DID shoot an 86 today.

    Back to Wade.

    Look, the guy’s a Hall of Famer. What intrigues me most is how long he has left in his career and where LeBron James will go when his Robin decides to retire.

  6. Coach Jimmy R…

    Any stories you’ve encountered where you’ve run into someone who you found totally uneducated in even the most basic sports facts?

    Like who’s Babe Ruth sorta thing?

  7. I don’t know if it will be this off-season, Al, but it’s in the mail, that’s for sure.

    Either way, like I said earlier, Bron Bron will soon have a pretty important career decision to make which has to have every other team in the league salivating at the thought.

  8. Another decision for LeBron ? Bank $150 million or $130 million .? Some decision .

    Not a good weekend overall for Tampa based teams . The Lightning are getting blown out of their series (0-3) against the Maple Leafs . Never thought that the Lightning were that good a team to begin with , even with Stamkos .

    Tell me what you see in the Rays as a team at present not solely based on their record ? To my mind they are nowhere near as good as some believe and the pitching has been inept , beyond the mediocrity of the hitting (batting) . Still believe that 90-95 wins is attainable , based on what you have seen from the Rays so far this season ?

    tophatal ………….

  9. Chris

    Bernard Hopkins
    remains the ” ageless wonder “ in destroying Beibut Shumenov of Kazakhstan . Hopkins will be fifty years next January 15th (I’m four years older than the Philadelphia born fighter) and he’s doing us fifty-year old’s real proud . Hopkins has now challenged Floyd Mayweather to a catch-weight contest and Mayweather can name his price in terms of the monetary terms . With the Pennsylvanian being a co-executive and part-owner in Golden Boy Promotions Inc , I can see that contest being put together rather quickly , if Mayweather and his manager Leonard Ellerbee are prepared to put aside their differences with Oscar De La Hoya , majority owner in Golden Boy Promotions Inc . There’s going to be great deal of money to be made from such a proposed bout , if they can work out the finite details . Each fighter , could walk away with a cool $25 million apiece , before they talk residuals .

    tophatal ……………

  10. Looking at the picture of you in the shirt, it’s pretty clear to me that he mistook the lick of flame above the ‘E’ as an accent mark, which is reasonable since, out of context, there isn’t a solid reason for there to be any flames on that shirt. Of course it makes sense to us because we know where it comes from but his response was pretty reasonable.

  11. As long he has Lebron James’ coatails to ride on, Wade will still be unjustly portrayed as one of the top players in the league despite the facts and evidence poitning to the opposite.

  12. Al…

    LeBron will have a decision to make, that’s for sure.

    I’m sure it’s not something he’s thinking about now, nor should he be. I’m also pretty certain he, Wade, Riles, Spoelstra and the powers that be will have a discussion in the off-season about the team’s immediate future. Right now, however, it’s about moving past Charlotte.

    As you well know, I won’t pretend to follow hockey enough to explain what’s gone on with the Lightning. They’re just not ready. Certainly nobody expected them, at least not locally, to drop the first three the way they have. But it’s not looking good.

    90-95 wins for this Rays team? That might be a stretch. I think that will depend on whether they can find someone to fill the holes in the starting rotation consistently and whether this team can string together, again, consistent hitting.

    I mean, come on. In four games against the Yankees, they scored 2, 11, 16 and 1. What the hell is that?

    And re: Hopkins, I think I’m gonna take a moratorium On talking about boxing until there’s actually a fight worth talking about. You do realize we’re talking about a boxer who’s FIFTY YEARS OLD!!!

  13. Slap Dog…

    I don’t think anyone in their right mind still considers Wade a top five, or even top ten player.

    He was, at one point, no doubt about that.

    But he’s just too banged up.

    Either way, I’d still rather have him on my team than not.

  14. Al…

    Since the Knicks signed Odom for the last day or two of the season, did he actually receive a paycheck?

    Maybe that was a vote of confidence from Phil considering all the guy’s been through lately.

    Other than that, it doesn’t really make much sense.

  15. He’s (Odom) not been signed for the last day of the season, but to be part of the team moving forward . The maneuver wasn’t done for celebratory reasons at all . What sense would it make to sign a player at the end of the regular season , when the schedule has already come to an end ?

    Steve Kerr is now said to be the preferred candidate of Jackson to succeed Mike Woodson and it seems that the former Bulls, Magic and Cavs player as Suns’ front office executive said to be interested in working alongside his old coach . Jackson is already getting the band back together , having already brought back Clarence Gaines Jr to be part of the soon to be new Knicks’ coaching staff . I think he (Jackson) might even pursue Bobcats’ assistant coach , Patrick Ewing as well , given the improvement in the play of the Bobcats forwards . Mind you , that might create some tension between Phil Jackson and Bobcats’ owner , Michael Jordan .

    tophatal …………

  16. Kerr’s always been the leading candidate for that position, Al. He was part of those early Jackson teams and understands Phil’s philosophy so that make the most sense… as long as they can get Carmelo to buy in.

  17. Chris

    I’m not so sure that ‘melo is still convinced that New York is the place for him albeit that the team can offer the player the largest contract possible . That being said , the Knicks’ roster remains a mess and with them having resigned JR Smith and with Stoudemire and his contract still on the books . It’s hard to imagine how the front office can move forward , with little available cap room over the next two years .

    If things remain as they are the organization are mandated to pay the league hierarchy over $65 million over the next two years in terms of the cap hit (NBA luxury tax) . Time for a ” hard cap ” rather than the soft cap now in place .

    What’s wrong with being over fifty ? Foreman was approaching 50 when he won the heavyweight title for the final time of his career .

    Your thoughts on Jim Tressel being one of the leading candidates to become the President of the University of Akron , in Ohio ? I’m not saying that crime doesn’t pay, but Tressel, like a well-oiled politician , has become a poster child for that type of bull#hit !

    tophatal …….

  18. The Rays bats like the pitching , have become way too inconsistent ! Agree or disagree ?

    See that performance by the Marlins’ ….. Jose Fernandez with a 14K pitching performance against the Braves ? That kid is the real deal and deservedly won the NL Rookie of the Year Award last season .

    I don’t know what the hell is going on in that playoff series between the Bulls and the Wizards , but can the real Chicago Bulls stand up for once ? If only for one game at some point in this series . I thought that the team would be ready to play , but instead , through the first two games they have been a major disappointment ! Game three will now have some added meaning for both teams . I favored the Bulls to make a deep run , now they’re making a damn mockery of the pick ! But at least my Spurs are looking good !

    Have you read Mike Bianchi’s column in the Orlando Sentinel concerning Dwight Howard ? Former player Matt Guokas , is an @ss , his making the suggestion that Howard is a better defensive player , than Bill Russell , shows us why guys like Guokas , should be seen and not heard !

    Thankfully, Guokas , is not heard on national television . Well, at least , I hope not !

    tophatal ………….

  19. Al…

    I’d really like to see ‘Melo end up in Chicago. If Washington has showed us anything, it’s that Chicago has nobody that can score the ball consistently. With no Derrick Rose, who do they go to in that series to score points?

    Goukas said what? Clearly senility is setting in.

  20. So the Matt Schaub era will begin in earnest in Oakland ? And Terrelle Pryor can learn what it takes to be a great quarterback in the NFL by taking intensive lessons from Russell Wilson . Meanwhile , Vick will be teaching Geno Smith all he knows about spaying dogs , having worked intensely with PETA over the past few years . Because he sure as hell , can’t be teaching him anything about being a quarterback at this stage of his under-achieving career (Vick) .

  21. The Bulls can’t score, Al.

    They’re gonna lose that series and even if they don’t, they get much farther after that. This is a team that you thought was going to contend but they don’t have anyone who’s any sort of offensive threat. I tried to tell you that.

    It’ll be interesting to see what they do in the off-season.

  22. Pingback: Sports Snobbery, Vol 4: When fumbles aren’t fumbles, touchdowns aren’t touchdowns and that magical moment when the uneducated sports fan becomes insufferable | Sports Chump

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