I’m sorry, people.
I’m just having too much fun with this whole Twitter thing.
When someone told me Florida State quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston was cited for shoplifting crab legs out of a Tallahassee Publix, I immediately turned to the social media outlet to see what people had to say. After all, what kind of Florida alum would I be if I wasn’t able to poke fun at one of our biggest rivals?
The Winston incident finally gave Twitter addicts (Hi, my name is Christopher and I’m a Twitterholic) a break from talking about Donald Sterling but it clearly didn’t stop their creativity.
Ladies and gentlemen, here are some of the top Tweets about yet another poor college athlete who obviously didn’t have enough to eat.
Jameis Winston woke up in a crabby mood.
Who do I need to contact to apply for the position of following Jameis Winston and making sure he doesn’t do stupid shit
Jameis Winston getting caught stealing crab legs makes me question his breakaway speed. Couldn’t out run a grocery store clerk?
Jonathan Martin @JonathanKMartin
For a measly $16.99 Jameis Winston could have eaten all you can eat crab legs from Red Lobster. Come on, man!
Jesus Himself @LonnyColdChain
Jameis WINSTON got suspended for stealing crab legs from a grocery store. That has to be the blackest thing to get in trouble for.
Genuinely disgusted with Jameis Winston’s behaviour, how anyone could do that to Publix is unforgivable.
It’s time to ™ the slogan “I got Crabs from Jameis Winston” for t-shirt purposes
Jameis Winston stealing those crablegs was a very shellfish act. He didn’t think about the conchequences.
The real crime would be if Jameis Winston forgot the garlic butter. #FSU
Drunk Roger Goodell @FakeCommish
Jameis Winston got a 30 dollar fine for stealing crab legs, now he’s gotta find a way to steal 30 dollars.
Fake SportsCenter @FakeSportsCentr
Tallahassee PD claiming the crab legs went back to Jameis Winston’s house consensually
What Jameis Winston’s Failure To Keep Kosher Means For The 2015 NFL Draft:
Breaking news: Adam Silver has banned Jameis Winston for life at Publix supermarkets..
Not Bill Walton @NotBillWalton
Jameis Winston was cited for shoplifting $32 worth of crab legs. Ironically, he’d be in even more trouble if a booster bought them for him.
Happy Gilmore @_Happy_Gilmore
Donald Sterling said to be confused as to why Jameis Winston would steal crab legs and not fried chicken.
Tallahassee Police are discrediting the story that Jameis Winston stole crab legs…they said he only raped the crab.
Jameis Winston will appear on the covers of both EA Sports “NCAA Football ’14” AND “Grand Theft Crustacean.”
Jameis Winston. National championship MVP, crab enthusiast.
I have new doubts about Jameis Winston’s judgment. If I’m a Heisman Trophy winner and I’m stealing seafood, I’m stealing lump crabmeat.
I admire fine seafood police work. Also, the phrases “21 Lump Meat” and “Claw and Order” are the best things I’ve ever heard.
Publix: Where shoplifting is a pleasure
LostLettermen.com @LostLettermen
If Steve Spurrier doesn’t take this opportunity to call FSU “Free Seafood University,” I will be EXTREMELY disappointed.
SethMeyers: FLA [ST] Heisman QB Jameis Winston was arrested for stealing supermarket crab legs. He was spotted running out the door sideways.
“I fought the claw and the claw won” was sent in by one of my readers and yes, an Alabama super market took a shot at Jameis by adding his name to their own seafood selection.
How much credibility does Jameis Winston now have ? Possible rapist , with him still maintaining his innocence , first admitting that the sex was consensual, and then denying that he was involved with the alleged victim . Now his stealing $32’s worth of crab legs while paying for the other dozen items he left the Publix store stating that it was a youthful indiscretion on his part ? How #ucking old is this kid ? Obviously not that bright to begin with if he’s attending FSU , where the school is one (only Florida school) of fifty five nationwide found to be negligent ( joint investigation by the US Justice Dept and Education Dept ) in their investigation of on campus sexual assaults .
Where is NCAA President Mark Emmert to be found concerning the last issue , especially when it involves a student athlete as victim or possible perpetrator of such a crime ? ? He much like David Stern is a pompous self-conceited ###tard ! Stern remained silent and did nothing while the Magic’s Rich DeVos repeatedly went off on his homo-phobic rants which were reported in print, locally and nationwide . So explain to me now how in your eyes his tenure as commissioner has clarity and credibility to it ?
So much goddamn hypocrisy in the NBA and the NCAA , never mind the sheer blind ###king stupidity of the local Los Angeles chapter of the NAACP recently wanting to give Donald Sterling their highest civic honor , a Lifetime Achievement Award .
FSU = Free Seafood University? LOL!
This falls into the category “Shit For Brains”… This kid had the world by the tail and he pulls a stunt like this…
Ya’ know what, Al?
Do you think it’ll matter one bit on draft day?
Did all the allegations surrounding Cam Newton and his father taking illegal benefits for one second alter his draft position?
No.
With the first pick of the 2011 NFL Draft, the Carolina Panthers selected Cam Newton
These crabs too… shall pass.
Crabs don’t have tails, Dwin.
Just sayin’.
The run from the Publix picture is priceless. There is no shortage of creativity in lampooning these type of situations only because the stupidity just keeps on coming and people so inclined get to hone their skills repeatedly. Athletes entertain us as much for their off-the-field/court/rink activities as when they are being athletic. Truly, today more than ever our sports heroes are entertainers first and foremost..often for reasons we would rather not have to choose from.
Chumpy,
LOL @happy gilmore… just too damned funny…
No shortage of idiots in sports to write about these days
I’m just wondering if we don’t hold our 19 year olds to too high of a standard, Burnsy.
I know I was no role model at 19.
Put these guys on a pedestal and we’re bound to be let down.
The incessant media coverage just makes things worse.
Tree..
It definitely keeps me busy, that’s for sure.
Dumbass
Football season can’t come soon enough for this kid, Bleed.
I don’t know that the crabs shall pass but the allegations surrounding the rape will definitely make GM’s think twice considering the fact Winston’s story changed , whereas as the alleged victim’s has not . Need we also be reminded by the fact of the Education and Justice Departments continued investigation of sexual assaults college campuses ? FSU is the only Florida college n on the list of fifty-five schools nationwide where there have severe doubts as to how these schools deal with the issue of sexual assaults . Arne Duncan’s office has e indicated that a sexual attack on a college campus takes place as frequently as one every thirty-six hours and where many go unreported . Let me pose the question when an athlete is involved either as a victim or perpetrator why is the NCAA nowhere to be seen ? Yet all fans want to talk about is this too will come to pass ?
The NCAA remains incompetent under Mark Emmert and also with his predecessor Myles Brand . You seem to forget the that alleged body (NCAA ) falsified records concerning the fallout concerning the Miami Hurricanes’ program. So what makes you think that they used due diligence in their investigation of Cam Newton and his father ?
We have a whole other season to play, Al.
If he has another successful college campaign and NFL franchises think he can help their team win, they’re gonna take him.
Chris
You don’t believe the trust and maturity level matter ? Come on , the kid already has a bad track record and let me ask you this, what evidence has he shown, that he is prepare to change or are you that naive ?
The statement read by his lawyer were not Winston’s own words . He’s not intelligent know what the #cuk a youthful indiscretion actually means . Thirteen items and somehow the most expensive was not paid for ? Is that what is now being taught at FSU ? How to succeed and show that you’re an @sshole ?
tophatal ………………
http://tophatal.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/pick-your-poison-2/
<a href=http://tophatal.wordpress.com/2014/05/01/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water-but-you-cant-make-it-drink-but-you-can-make-it-take-dump-all-over-the-place-and-still-try-come-up-smelling-of-ros/ http://tophatal.wordpress.com/2014/05/01/you-can-lead-a-horse-to-water-but-you-cant-make-it-drink-but-you-can-make-it-take-dump-all-over-the-place-and-still-try-come-up-smelling-of-roses
http://tophatal.wordpress.com/2014/04/29/nigger-in-the-woodpile-donald-sterling-doesnt-even-have-a-plantation-but-he-probably-wished-had-one/
Al…
The trust and maturity level have nothing to do with whether a team will draft him if they think he can help them win.
Oh I was so glad to see this post. Such funny stuff! And you’re right…..none of this will matter in the draft or his career.
I do a mean crab boil. I love sucking on some legs. And when they are on sale, I stock up buying an entire buggy full. How in the hell can he” forget to pay”? Such stupidity!
Good job Triple SC;)
Dee Dee
Dee Dee…
Apparently this was the “friendly” Publix too where players are afforded such liberties.
I guess the clerk that stopped Jameis didn’t get that memo.
Or perhaps he went to UF.
Seriously, stories like this only come around so often. I mean, what a gem. I saw the headline and had to look twice. There are some real funny ones on here… wish I had the time during the day of this to be able to put something together. Some really solid ones… nicely done.
As for Jameis, well, are we really all that shocked?
KP…
Clearly you work too much.
Here’s hoping your baby doesn’t grow up to be a Heisman-winning, shoplifter.
So trust doesn’t matter ? If the Patriots had it to do all over again concerning Aaron Hernandez do you believe that they would still have drafted him and ignore all of the evidence about the kid that was already known ?
Are you really buying all of that ? Winston is still under investigation for that alleged rape . So he’s still not out of the woods yet . So explain to me how you believe he’s going to be able to convince general managers of his maturity level . He was kicked of the noles’ baseball team once that theft incident came to light . Obviously the coaching staff there , have no faith in this kid . Again I ask you explain to me what traits do you believe Jameis Winston has ?
I’m not quite sure Jameis’ and Hernandez actions can be put in the same boat, Al.
What I am saying is that teams have been known to overlook certain morals among the athletes they draft?
Are you suggesting that’s not the case?