What an uppity week it’s been for sports. With all the stimulants being passed around, it’s amazing anyone can catch a bit of sleep.
From Poland to Las Vegas to Cooperstown, athletes have made headlines for dipping into the supply side to get that edge, some legally, others not so much.
In Poland at the Hopman Cup in Poland, some six thousand miles away, one of the world’s greatest female tennis players needed a boost.
Serena Williams hadn’t had her morning coffee and it reflected in her play. We’ve all been there, grumpy, groggy and unproductive after a sleepless night. Serena needed a jump start so she asked a ball girl to get her some joe.
But it was the way that she asked for it. Serena’s mid-match request sounded like a line from a 1990s Wesley Snipes movie.
When Serena asked the ball girl at the Australian Open tune-up for a black coffee, after confirming that drinking a caffeinated beverage during a match was not against the rules, Williams said she wanted it “as black as it gets.”
Samuel L. Jackson hasn’t had a line that good in years.
After losing the first set 6-0, Serena came back and beat her opponent 6-3, 6-0. That must’ve been some good coffee.
Jon “Bones” Jones has apparently been having a jolt of a different kind. Mere days after beating his latest opponent, the 20-1 UFC light heavyweight champion checked himself into rehab for cocaine use. Jones probably should have opted for the cappuccino.
I’m a UFC newbie. What’s the policy here? Does Jones get suspended? He would if he played in any other professional sports league. Is he stripped of his title? Was he using cocaine before this weekend’s bout or did he just go on a celebratory bender afterwards?
It turns out he did fail a pre-fight drug test. If that’s the case, why was this fight even allowed to happen in the first place? Correct me if I’m wrong but one of the main reasons Pacquio-Mayweather never took place is because the two fighters couldn’t agree on pre-bout, drug-testing procedures. So UFC is allowing their fighters to do a couple lines before stepping into the Octagon? That’s no way to earn credibility. I never thought I’d say this but perhaps UFC should consult Bud Selig on how to devise a tough anti-drug policy.
At least baseball bans these players for life. Just ask Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and company.
This week, the poor old steroid gang remained unelected for their alleged drug use, the sports week’s third and final jolt.
In their first year of eligibility, John Smoltz, Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez, three players who played in that era but were never accused of taking performance enhancing drugs were all elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Craig Biggio also made it in. You know who didn’t? Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds, four players who had the statistics on paper to make it in but who had a prescription on paper of another kind.
We’re getting to the point where there appears to be some forgiveness about the steroid era, not enough to let these guys in but at least there’s more dialogue about how to handle matters.
After all, baseball can’t ignore the 800 lb. gorilla in the room forever. Perhaps they should all hash out their differences over a nice, warm cup of coffee.
Biggio is the most deserving of the bunch. One of the best 2nd basemen ever. Pedro being the least deserving. His stats are at the very low end of people who should be in the Hall, if at all. His post season awards likely got him in but 219 wins just doesn’t cut it honestly. The magic mark has always been 300 wins. I realize that starting 5 pitchers instead of 4 in a rotation cuts into appearances but Glavine and Maddux both went over 300 and they played in the same era. He has a nice career ERA at 2.93 and a lot of K’s. He is borderline for me. The Big Unit is worthy. Smoltz was pretty dominant as a closer, but I think pitching one inning and proclaiming yourself great is kind of lame.
Alright! Starting off 2015 right with a little sportschump ufc coverage. I like it. (Granted, you seem more comfortable writing about olympic water polo than mma, but I’ll take what I can get).
So this Jones drug test was apparently a total shit show. Cocaine, for whatever reason, is not a banned substance “out of competition” which includes when this test was administered early December. Which is why this test shouldn’t have even been given. It was a fuck up. They were supposed to be testing for PEDs and didn’t. New Jones drug news is suspicious testosterone levels; should hear more about that soon.
For your next UFC foray, maybe check out the insanity that is Donald Cerrone. On Jan 4th, he won his 5th straight fight in the last 12 months (tied for a record I think), then agreed to fight again 2 weeks later (completely unheard of since the days of 3 fight a night tournament style in the 90’s) against the #4 guy in his division.
Yep, Cowboy vs Ben Henderson. Two former WEC guys doing great in the UFC. Too bad Anthony ” Showtime ” Pettis is in their division with a couple of other tough guys. I am a huge Donald Cerrone fan. I hope he wins but that will be a tough road to hoe on short notice.
It would be a shame if Bones Jones is caught doping. I personally couldn’t care less about him skiing down the fresh powdered slopes. He is maybe the baddest man of all-time and that is saying something. Him being around the sport is good for UFC.
Chris
Give Curt Schilling credit for raining on the parade of the four players to be inducted by using political ideology, claiming John Smoltz’s induction was based on his being a Democrat . I was under the impression Smoltz got their on merit and the way he conducted himself on and off the field of play . Schilling eighteen months ago claimed Red Sox management and coaches asked him to take a banned substance during that infamous postseason series where his bloody socks became part of MLB postseason lore . Need we anymore on the matter concerning Curt Schilling ?
UFC President Dana White is a hypocrite , because he was aware Jones tested positive for cocaine ( results were known as of the 28th December , but not made public until after the event ) prior to his contest against Daniel Cormier at UFC 182. Chael Sonnen got a 180 day suspension and a monetary fine for twice breaking the substance abuse policy of the genre . Jones simply gave an asinine and less than contrite apology , enters rehab and not so much as fine (mandated a first transgression along with a financial penalty) .
Serena was merely being Serena . Imagine if she’d been on her monthly cycle and what she might’ve demanded ?
If it’s a weekday in the NBA , I guess the New York Knicks must be still losing . Their reality show out to be a hoot . Phil and the Knicks plus fourteen and counting . Makes me wonder why the canceled Jon & Kate Plus Eight . Was it because the parents (Gosselin’s ) were just as dysfunctional as the Knicks’ organization as well as among the players and coaching staff ?
Tophatal ……
Come on, man! Are you trying to tell me all those MMA guys aren’t coked out of their skulls?
Chris
Do you believe it a big slight , Mike Piazza is still being overlooked in his candidacy for the Hall of Fame ?
D…
I was never much of a Biggio fan.
In fact, I can name a number of second baseman in the modern era I’d have on my roster before him. Ryne Sandberg, Joe Morgan, Robbie Alomar and how about Dustin Pedroia.
I don’t have a problem with him getting in. The guy’s got 3000 hits. That’s generally a shoo-in number.
But there’s a reason Pedro, Smoltzy and the Unit got in first ballot. Pedro was literally untouchable for years, the Unit was one of the most intimidating pitchers of his generation and Smoltz proved he could both start and relieve as needed.
Re: Pedro, take a look at his numbers from 1997-2003. He led the league in ERA fives times, man. Not to mention he’s got three Cy Young awards.
That ain’t bad.
SD…
If writing about the octagon gets you to spend a little more time in the Chumposphere, I’ll see what I can do.
Just when I think this sport is on the verge of becoming legit and perhaps threatening to become the fourth major sport (PGA, NHL, NASCAR?), something like this happens.
If the guy failed a drug test, like I said, a) why was this fight allowed to happen and b) why is he not being stripped of that title?
Makes no sense.
Like I said, all three of the other major sports suspend players for less. So why not the UFC?
Or do they just not give a shit?
D…
What’s it mean for the sport if he does end up suspended?
Al…
Maybe the Knicks should consider performance enhancers at this point, huh?
Dub…
It sounds to me like the sport is at a turning point. Are they going to take a hardline stance on drug use or not?
And do their fans care?
Al…
Piazza will probably get in eventually.
Maybe even next ballot.
How close was he this time around?
Chris
Piazza wasn’t even in the top five of the vote-getters . But it’s been about his name being associated with the steroids era and his getting caught in the mess .
MMA is become a complete joke with UFC President Dana King becoming almost as much of an imbecile as Don King and Bob Arum combined . White is taking the NFL stance in trying to suggest that he wasn’t aware of Jones’ positive test . The sample was made public on the 28th December prior to Jon Jones’ title defense .
Will Schilling’s name be on the Republican ballot in 2016 seeking the Presidential nomination? Just a thought . LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
Tophatal …….
Al…
As it stands right now, the high and almighty sportswriters are not about to vote any baseball player in who has even a whiff of steroids on their breath.
If that includes Mike Piazza, then so be it.
Either way, it’s about time they stop avoiding the issue and figure out to do with these guys.
Chris
The almighty so called sports’ writers and even former players who became tv personalities and analysts simply ignored the issue of PED’s within the sport of baseball . It wasn’t until Canseco’s book , the the BALCO story breaking , Mark Fainaru-Wadu and Lance William’s in-depth research ( news’ article & their own book) coming out , was it that the league hierarchy actually began to take the matter seriously.
How often did we also read the asinine comments of moronic fans , stating let the players continue to use PED’s with their not realizing the dangers that came from using illicit ? Are they actually anal retentive ? Even more idiotic , has been this pious ideology within the BBWAA (Baseball Writers Association of America) . What the hell did they do during that era ? When you have the likes of Peter Gammons , Tim Kurkjian and Buster Olney continually glossing that particular chapter of baseball , it simply indicates the ongoing hypocrisy within the game .
Trouble in paradise Pittsburgh Steelers’ long-time defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau abruptly resigns . Not seeing eye-to-eye with Mike Tomlin no-doubt .
Tony Dungy and Jon Lynch are two, among the fifteen nominees for the Pro Football Hall of Fame . Your thoughts on the likelihood of their making it on their very first ballot ?
Tophatal ….
Chris
Wasn’t Phil Jackson meant to be Merlin is this whole scenario, casting a spell and making things all the better for the New York Knicks’ franchise ? All Phil has done is to prescribe a frigging recipe for disaster with the hiring of Derek Fisher and Kurt Rambis being part of the coaching staff and this idiocy of the Triangle Offense being taught team whose collective IQ wouldn’t even gain them admittance into MENSA . Other than his resume’ what does Phil bring to the table by way of his being able to assess talent ? No one has been able to succinctly explain that issue at all .
If the Knicks were “coked up ” like the Chappelle character Tyrone Biggums (crack head) , they would still be goddamn awful . The roster coming into this season was a frigging joke . Iman Shumpert , Pablo Prigioni and Jose Calderon were going to make that team better ? Gimme a break .
Tophatal ……………
Either way, Al, Major League Baseball is going to have to figure out how to handle the steroid issue.
Bonds and Clemens were huge influences on the game as were Pete Rose and Joe Jackson.
Are we just going to pretend these players didn’t exist?
Serena said that?
Where’s Al & Jesse dammit? It hasn’t been that long…Samuel L. dropped a few verbal gems in Django.
I guess Jon figured it got LT into the Hall of Fame and Tony Montana legend status, so why not?
So Smoltz is better than Clemens and Biggio is better than Bonds because they didn’t partake? These uppity voters crack me up…
The all time hit leader isn’t in.
The all time HR king isn’t in.
A 7 time Cy Young award winner isn’t in.
…But Smoltz and Biggio are…LMAO
Maybe they should have dropped Don Zimmer to the grass by the head…Or voted Democrat…Or not have won titles in Houston…Wait, Roger pulled that one off…So where’s his bronze bust?
You named 2 2nd basemen better than him all time. One isn’t better. Yep, Pedro dominated a short run, but his stats are not worthy long term. There is something to be said for consistency over long term. It is the main reason people get into HOF’s. Does Mike Mussina get into the HOF? I will argue he had a better career than Pedro. Moose has 7 Gold Gloves as well. Played 18 seasons, just like Pedro, 50 more wins while playing for the awful Orioles most of the time. For the record I think Mussina is borderline also. If we start letting anybody in it cheapens it. Pedro wouldn’t be in my HOF and Piazza should be in for the person above. Dustin Pedroia? Are you serious? The guy has played 9 seasons so far. He can carry Craigs equipment to the stadium if he wants I guess.
Chump,
Re: MLB refusing to acknowledge Pete Rose and Joe Jackson… they are more than willing to place their head up their axxes, umm heads in the sand and pretend that if they, or some contrivance of ancient BBWAA hacks, feel that they cheated, via steroids gambling or whatever, then the world will simply forget those players were ever good. how good could Pete have been if we kept him out of the HOF? These idiots conveniently ignore that Pete STILL holds the all time hits record. Idiots. On the other end Barry Balco Bonds, or Sosa or McGwire may never have set any records without PED’s. So “IF” today we enforce ‘roids then how are today’s players EVER going to break records set by dirty players. Long argument with nothing close to a clean answer. The BBWAA intends to keep Pete out of the HOF until he’s dead… and maybe later. How did that help baseball? It taught a generation or two not to bet on the game while they are playing or managing it. Was that worth it? Doubtful.
PED’s are not the same as recreational drugs. This appears to be the crux of Dana White’s claims. Totally weak ass position but apparently the only one he could muster. Also totally contrived is the Nate/Nick Diaz suspension for twisting a little herb. OK herb now being legal in more and more states must be worse in the UFC’s eyes than a little nose candy? Holy cow does anyone bother to think before making UFC policy? And somehow Joe Rogan is still the top choice for in fight commentary?? Has anyone at UFC ever listened to one of Rogan’s stoner podcasts? Jon Jones is one helluva fighter. Would he be better or worse with nose candy or herb? Who knows? Well I guess Daniel Cormier knows…that it didn’t matter. Olympic level wrestler or not he couldn’t beat the frosted Jones…
Big bad world we live in isn’t it??
I agree, Bleed.
We’ve discussed this for years.
Eventually, baseball is going to have to figure out what to do with these guys.
And for the record, who the hell made the sports writers the experts?
I think our AL East bias is blinding us a little, D.
I’m iffy on Moose but wouldn’t have a problem with it. Heck, it’s not like it really matters all that much anyway.
I do think you’re in the minority when it comes to people who think Pedro didn’t deserve to be on the first ballot.
And take a closer look at Pedroia. He’s got an MVP under his belt and is definitely on a pace to reach Biggio type numbers.
Tree…
I’m guessing the world of mixed martial arts is a lot more flooded with drugs than any of us realize. Heck, that’s probably true for all the major sports.
So if that’s the case with MMA, does that ruin the sport’s credibility, Rogan’s presence notwithstanding.
And at this point, as fans, are we okay with that?
Pedroia has great numbers for 9 years but he could be hit by a bus tomorrow and no HOF for the dustmeister. If he continues he will get in I am sure. I am sure I am in the minority and I am not saying he wasn’t a great pitcher. Should Bo Jackson be in the football HOF? He was a better RB than Pedro was a pitcher. I mean he might be the greatest RB ever, but no HOF. I don’t know. Just playing Devil’s advocate.
While I agree Rogan is a clown some of the time he is extremely knowledgeable about MMA. He was the open National Champion in Tae Kwon Do at age 19, all divisions. He was the Grand Champion. He knows his stuff and would wipe the floor with most people. I am sure he is blazed most of the time he is working, but no I don’t really care.
Chris
So the fun and joviality begins with a the annual merry-go-round of coaching changes within the NFL ? Oh as the world turns , in this particular league . There’s more recycling to be found there, than within an environmental friendly refuse dump .
Waiting for the baseball hierarchy to make meaningful changes , not unlike watching Congress at work , as they deliberate , take a vote and then pat themselves on the back, having made an asinine decision . The BBWAA , simply an acronym for downright hypocrisy .
$90.4 million spent to lose over $120 million in a year . That’s the Brooklyn Nets at work for you. Phil Jackson on the other hand, is still figuring out ways to continue the Knicks’ losing streak (alongside the Timberwolves) … 15 and counting . This is what the NBA is meant to be about ?
Dana White is now beginning to make the antics of Bob Arum and Don King seem all so irrelevant . He’s begun to dig deep whole for the genre of MMA , with his continued idiocy and autocratic rule of UFC .
Troy Aikman is upset with Skip Bayless ? What did Skip do ? He didn’t mention Aikman’s name in the same sentence as Tony Romo did he ? If so , it must’ve been an honest mistake on Bayless’ part or was it ? LOL,LOL,LOL !!!
Dropped two new odes if at all interested ?
Tophatal ……..
All I’m saying, D, is that Pedroia is on a pace. I’ll be sure to send him a memo to make sure he stays clear of buses just in case.
I don’t have much of a problem with Rogan either. How much of a stake does he have in the league? Any idea? Isn’t he vested?
Fox to Chicago, Al. Ryan to Buffalo and Del Rio to Oakland.
Who do ya’ think will have the best first year at their respective franchise?
Fox with da bears!
I heard on the radio the other day, D, that that was the first time the Bears hired someone with previous head coaching experience.
Could that be true?
I am thinking of their previous head coaches and they all suck IMO. Lovey? Dick Jauron? Dave Porn Stache Wannstedt? I don’t remember them coaching elsewhere beforehand either so maybe it is true.
Either way, it couldn’t get much worse in Chicago than it was last season.
That team was horrible.
Perhaps they should all “hash out” their differences over a nice, warm cup of coffee.
Am I the only one to notice the term “hash out” at the end of an article about illegal drugs? lol
You caught that, huh, Jordan.
Nicely done, sir.