Sports Snobbery, Episode 5: The meaning of “In the Clubhouse”

blacks without soulI hate having to do this.  I really do.  But I feel these conversations are for the good of humanity.  I’m only here to help those less fortunate.  Like BB King once tried to help Blacks without Soul, consider this my effort to educate men, er… people (better, D?) who have not a single clue about sports.

It wasn’t long ago that we here at the Chump (and by we, I mean me) came up with the Sports Snobbery series.  Sports Snobbery is when someone says something to you about sports so absolutely asinine, uninformed and nonsensical that you can hardly contain yourself.

It happened again this weekend.

I was watching a little golf.  After all, it was the US Open and Tiger Woods was stinking up the joint.  But one young, 21-year old phenomenon named Jordan Spieth, already a major winner, was following in Tiger’s footsteps (and by footsteps, I mean the early freakishly good golfer footsteps, not the porn star banging adulterer footsteps… although after yesterday, Spieth could probably land some of that too).

Jordan mastersHeading into the Open, Spieth had already won this year’s Masters and finished in the top three six times this year.  Clearly the kid has been in the zone.

He was in the zone again all weekend.  After Friday’s round, he was tied for the lead at five under par.

This particular US Open was being played in Washington State so those of us on the East coast were treated to some late night golf.

It was about six o’clock in the evening east coast time, making it three o’clock on the other coast.  Golfers aplenty were still on the course.  Some had just teed off.  I glanced up for a quick look at the leaderboard to find Spieth’s name atop it.

I was preoccupied at the time but asked a gentleman who seemed to be paying attention to the round if Spieth was the “leader in the clubhouse,” which is ironically how Spieth ended up winning.

He replied “Yes” but then…. Ugh… he said “but there are still golfers left to play their rounds.”

ClubhouseOkay, take a deep breath.

Clearly, there were golfers still on the golf course.  Some had just begun their round.  I wasn’t asking the gentlemen if Spieth had won the tourney or even if he were the overall leader at the end of the day.  Golfers were scattered all over the course more so than the sugar ants on my kitchen counter (by the way, does anybody know how to get rid of those damn things?)

Never mind that fact that it was obvious that there were still golfers playing their rounds.  The very nature of my question, in the clubhouse, IMPLIES that there are people still on the course.  If a golfer is leading the tourney and in the clubhouse, that means others have yet to finish their rounds otherwise they would be in the clubhouse too and the leader would have won.  I wonder if he regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth.

I’m not asking for a lot here, just some common sense, people.

Here’s your job should you choose to accept it, my fellow sports snobs.  I am hereby holding all of you accountable.  Encourage your friends to subscribe to  The link is on the top right of this page.  It’s free and only takes thirty seconds out of your day.   Not only will you be doing your part to spread the SportsChump gospel but you’re ensuring these kinds of comments are kept to a minimum.

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25 Replies to “Sports Snobbery, Episode 5: The meaning of “In the Clubhouse””

  1. I would prefer that you state “educate MAN (as in human kind) or men AND women. I feel offended as a sports girl that this seems to be directed only towards men….unless of course you implying only men are the idiots regarding sports, if that is the case….carry on! 🙂

  2. How about a Sinatra wannabe that has no rhythm, stiff as a board, resides north of the border and claims Italian heritage. His Christmas Specials barely edged out the WNBA. Yes Canada be proud of its own Michael Buble.

  3. Chris,
    I hadda a good US Open(Schwartzel), but FOX needs to adjust their telecasts. Albeit, they are first timers here. Their technology, like mics between golfer and caddy were superb. Needed more insight though from announcers. I really wonder what Joe Buck would be doing today without dad’s prior influence. Prefer Nantz and not close.

  4. Jordan Spieth says hi . Tiger says that triple bogey really ##c#ed up his game . Any chance of Spieth winning a third Major this season ? If Fox is now covering golf , does that soon mean there’ll be a chance of them also doing the Scripps’ Spelling Bee ?

  5. D…

    Per your request, the original text has been changed.

    And for the record, it’s only been conversation with dudes that have inspired the sports snobbery posts.

    I’ll be sure to keep you posted when the trend takes a turn against the other, clearly superior gender.

  6. Bets…

    I’m with you, man.

    Totally over Buck.

    Not only is he bad, he’s pompous.

    You’re spot on. Without his daddy’s name, I’m not too sure he’d be where he is… which is annoying the hell out of all of us.

    At least we’ll all still have Randy Moss.

  7. Spieth is playing better golf than anyone on tour, Al, and that includes Rory who we all thought was the best golfer in the world.

    Tiger? Phil? Have we seen the end of them?

  8. Joe Buck is terrible – doesn’t matter what sport he is broadcasting. And it seems that he does them all. I just know there has to be some up & comers out there to give some air time to. They would be better and cheaper too!

  9. I pulled the Speith card last week (ain’t I smart). I think the Tiger and Phil show has left the building

  10. One thing I can’t stand about a play-by-play man, or anyone for that matter, Moose, is arrogance, especially when it’s unwarranted. I just have no time for that.

    Bets is right. Buck’s got that job because of his daddy.

    I may be in the minority here but that’s a reason I don’t listen to Dan Patrick. I just find him to be arrogant.

    It’s okay. It’s just another reason to turn the volume down when watching sports.

    And what do you mean you pulled the Spieth card? Did you bet a future on him to win the Open? What number did you get? I was surprised he was coming back around 8 or 10 to one to win at Augusta.

  11. I always try to mention your site as a destination for sports intelligence. There will always be morons. It is our job to rehab them as best we can. Or not.

  12. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

    -George Carlin

    …I think you need to lower your expectations, SnobChump.

  13. Thought Fox’s coverage was terrible. They couldn’t have a camera on Spieth’s face when he realized that he had won?

  14. Bleed…

    If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em?


    I say we keep raising the bar. Besides, I still need shit to write about.

    Your thoughts on the number two pick last night?

  15. I was watching their coverage from afar and was wondering what the hell was going on with that too, Rag.

    I’m thinking a camera in the clubhouse would probably have been a solid idea. Or maybe Fox didn’t know the meaning of “in the clubhouse” either.

  16. Not enough space here for my thoughts.

    I told you about Clarkson last year…Ended up 1st team All Rookie.

    Russell is much better.

    The Splash Brothers may have some dynamic back court duo company very, very soon.

  17. Chris, I remain retired from sports blogging. Just can’t catch the fire in the belly to put stuff out these days. The domain is probably owned by someone in Qatar by now. The site can still be found at Perhaps I will re-domain and take up the cause for more intelligent sports commentary once again. Thanks for asking.

  18. Chumpy you still say “common sense” like it’s common. Indeed common sense is one rare commodity these days…

    Oh and you go D!! LOL

  19. Well, Burnsy, if there’s anything ever on your mind and chapping your ass, you’re welcome to use my site as an avenue to vent.

    It’s open bar too, which is nice.

  20. A Tree sighting. Nice!

    Come out of hibernation for the spring, did ya’, Tree?

    And I suppose you’re right. Assuming the common man has common sense is why they made that joke about assuming in the first place.

  21. Pingback: Sports Snobbery, Episode Six: Chris Webber, the time out, a car wash and the pregnant lady who wanted none of the above | Sports Chump

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