NFL quarterbacks: Still crazy after all these years

“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky.  They’re all together ooky.”

–   Addams Family theme song

32 men.

That’s it.

Only 32 men out of several hundred million that live in this country get to be the starting quarterback of an NFL team on opening day.

And half of them aren’t even qualified.  They’re just filling in the gaps.

The NFL starting quarterback is a different breed of man.  This is a guy who boasted uncanny athletic ability all through Pop Warner, high school, college and then enough to land him a starting gig on the biggest stage of all.  Without fail, starting quarterbacks are tall, charismatic, confident, tough and all blessed with bionic arms.  It’s enough to make the mortal male wish he had picked up a football at an earlier age.

Like most elite athletes, an NFL quarterback’s confidence borders on arrogance and sometimes disillusionment.

RGIII grounded

Take Robert Griffin III for example.  RGIII put Baylor football on the map.  That’s not to say Baylor didn’t have a successful program before him but they certainly didn’t have themselves a Heisman Trophy winner.  RGIII has met with mixed reviews since entering the NFL, most of them negative.  There were concerns his game wasn’t suited for the pros, that his body couldn’t handle the wear and tear.  So far those concerns have rung true.

Not if you ask him though.  RGIII thinks he’s the best quarterback in the league.  Cue the drug-testing and concussion jokes.

RGIII’s not alone in his disillusionment.  Eli Manning, winner of two Super Bowls in New York City, is in a contract year.  He thinks he should be the highest paid quarterback in the league.

Correct me if I’m wrong but if RGIII is the best quarterback in the league, shouldn’t he garner the league’s highest salary?

Never mind all that.  Eli has a point.  He’s only one of three active quarterbacks to have won multiple Super Bowls.  He also has more rings than his brother who many think is the greatest quarterback of all-time.  But there’s that old adage about buying the cow when you’ve already gotten the milk for free.

The Book of Eli

Baby Manning is 34 years old.  Rarely does a thirty-four year old quarterback sign a multi-year deal that makes him the highest paid player in the league.  Not even the biggest Eli fan thinks the Giants should mortgage their future on a contract that could set the team back years. #Kobe

And then there’s yet another high-profile, starting quarterback who is taking the entire league to court.

Good times!

As you can see, NFL quarterbacks are a special kind of crazy and not just because they get hit in the head a lot.  I half expect Dr. Chilton from Silence of the Lambs to lead us down the bowels of his infirmary, past Hannibal’s cell to see where NFL quarterbacks spend their off-season.

It’s why Jameis Winston will settle into the league nicely.  He might not sustain long-term success but he’s most assuredly bat shit crazy.  How else can you explain a grown man standing on a cafeteria table shouting “F*ck that p*ssy” at the top of his lungs?  Like that wasn’t going to make the news.

This is not a new phenomenon.  Even past quarterbacks have been quirky, to put it politely.  A piss-drunk Joe Namath once told a sideline reporter he wanted to kiss her on live television.  Brett Favre was indecisively crazy.  Jim McMahon was borderline certifiable.  Kurt Warner was bible-thumpingly crazy.  Jay Cutler looks eternally stoned.  Andrew Luck thinks a neck beard is fashionable.  Have you ever listened to Terry Bradshaw on FOX’s NFL Sunday?  And how could we forget Kenny Stabler?

Kissing Suzy

We ridicule athletes when they say the darnedest things but what are they supposed to say?  That they don’t think they’re the best and don’t want to get paid accordingly?  That’d just be weird.  Wouldn’t we find it odder if we heard RGIII say he isn’t the best quarterback in the league?  Is Manning not supposed to demand high reward for his high risk position?

In one respect, their opinions are understandable.  In yet another, they’re utterly ridiculous.  By every account imaginable, RGIII is nowhere near the best quarterback in the league.  He’s 5-15 as a starter the last two years with 20 touchdowns and 18 interceptions.  RGIII might not even be the best quarterback on his own team.

With only a few years left in the league, Eli Manning’s agent should probably inform his client there’s no way the Giants are going to pay him the money he demands.

And after relentlessly proclaiming his innocence and suing the NFL, Tom Brady decided not to show up in court after all.  Go figure.

NFL quarterbacks are cut from a different cloth but we shouldn’t complain.  I say, embrace the craziness.  It’s not like we have a choice.  Plus it makes the rest of us look normal by comparison.

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23 Replies to “NFL quarterbacks: Still crazy after all these years”

  1. RGIII believe when he’s playing at his best , he is the best player on the Redskins’ roster and actually the best quarterback in the NFL . Eli Manning becomes a free agent in 2017 , but wants to start negotiations now on his second six-figure contract that will make him the highest paid player and quarterback in the league. Same old story, different day but the same regurgitating bull#hit from a crappy league.

    Judge Richard Berman admonishes Goodell the league’s Chief Legal Counsel Jeff Pash and Brady’s lawyers over the past few days , Tell what the hell is meant to be going on there , if it’s not an actual pi#sing contest with guys who have got di$ks the size of a thimble ?

  2. Al…

    I’m surprised but not surprised that Brady and the league can’t come to some sort of agreement that satisfies both parties.

    On what planet is RGIII the best quarterback?

    And I know that Baby Manning is hoping this all ends well for him in New York but the odds just might be stacked against that happening.

    What is his market value I wonder?

  3. I’m bat-shit crazy and arrogant too so I can’t take too many people to task for that but I will say that IMHO the Skins should just stick Cousins in there, tailor their scheme to fit his style and go. At least then they could be relevant after a year or so when everybody got on the same page – the eternal train wreck they continue to perpetuate isn’t even being watched at this point.

    On an unrelated note, could someone ask the Falcons to PLEASE find some offensive linemen that aren’t overrated and can stay healthy – Jesus, how many years are we going to have to go through this?

  4. Moose is SO right on both of his comments…the backup QB on the depth chart in Washington is closer to being the best QB in the league than the guy shown as #1…and it must be some kind of local law the Falcons are not allowed to hire quality offensive linemen. If Eli Manning really does want to be paid as much as these reports say he’s as flippin’ crazy as Griffin.

  5. Hell the peace talks in the Middle East are proving to be less intense than the bull#hit now taking place in the Southern District of the US Federal Court. You know the NFL has something to hide when Jeff Pash (Chief Legal Counsel) for the league hasn’t given testimony in the case. When broached on the subject Goodell and Pash have been evasive.

    Anything remotely do with the DC and the surrounding vicinity can’t be taken seriously. RGIII must be smoking some of that Jamaican Kush. That #hit can get you saying some real dumb #hit , when you’re high.

    Jared Fogle of Subway fame , giving new meaning to the ” foot-long sub sandwich” . Kiddie porn Jared ? He’s going to get his salad tossed without any mayonnaise being put on it .

  6. Eli Manning wanting and getting a six figure contract . Much like Bruce Jenner, having his sex change . His (Jenner’s) Adam’s Apple is still prominent , even if his balls are not . And Eli , will still be Eli Manning , a one trick pony whose record beyond two Superbowl victories, has simply been average.

  7. Moose…

    I think you just jinxed ’em.

    I was in the movie theater last night watching Straight Outta Compton which by the way, is a pretty damn good flick.

    I get home to find out that RGIII got dinged up? Again? I didn’t see the play but damn, this kid can’t catch a break.

    If I were a Redskins fan, I’d have to be frustrated as hell.

    And as a Bucs fan, the Panthers, Saints and Falcons can continue having problems as far as I’m concerned. Might give us a puncher’s chance.

    I’d like to pick a winner in that division but that just seems impossible at this point.

  8. Burnsy…

    Did you see the RGIII hit? How early in the game did it happen? Watching now.

    Heck, the Lions did that to him… and they don’t even have Suh in their lineup anymore.

    May have to seriously consider taking the Skins under at this point. Not like I liked them over to begin with.

    Think Redskins fans are watching the waiver wire to see if the Eagles cut Tim Tebow?

  9. At this point, not sure that I might not take a flyer on the Bucs to match the Falcons record. If the Dirty Birds win 8 games, I’ll be surprised. God forbid Julio Jones goes down and maybe it’s just me, but Kyle Shanahan as OC doesn’t inspire me to buy season tickets.

  10. Chris, I saw the RGIII debacle in replay. God. Moose just dropped the mic and walked off the stage with his prediction. Mike Shanahan ruined that guy. In the playoff against the Seahawks I turned to my wife and said RGIII will never be the same after this beating. And he hasn’t since. Shanahan broke that guy mentally and physically. If I may…a shameful plug for your loyal readers to visit my site. I dusted off the blog for the first time in a year/half and dropped a Chip Kelly rant. Credit you and Dubs for that. You guys are still in the game and inspired me to stick something new out on the I-Net.

  11. Alright sportsattitude I’m in. Flattery will get you everywhere. You & SC – I’m in

  12. Yea and I just threw the mike like Eminem on 8 mile. Bet I don’t cash in like he did tho

  13. Post the link, Burnsy.

    We all love being right.

    Oh and Dr. Milhouse who contributes to the site sporadically has threatened to write a piece asking why the hell Jay Gruden had RGIII in that game with a second string offensive line.

    Stay tuned.

  14. I’d be Cheddar Bob in the rapper environment (or his Dad). For me, Eminem is like Suh…respect / enjoy his talent, but wonder “what the fuck is he thinking?” half the time

  15. I wouldn’t even put RGIII in the top 20 and I’m a Redskins fan since birth. He needs to get a clue and gee look at what happens… he talks that smack and gets clocked in a preseason game right after. Redskins need a franchise quarterback… and it will not be him.

  16. I don’t know how we started walking down 8 Mile but maybe if Eminem played for the Lions they could finally get that franchise to a Super Bowl. Matt Stafford will not. As for another Matt…if Matt Barkley gets cut in favor of Tim Tebow in Philly…maybe Washington would favor wearing a Trojan at QB?

  17. Burnsy…

    I read somewhere that Marvin Gaye did or almost did try out for the Lions.

    Can you imagine had he made the team and not became a recording artist?

    The world would have been a much worse place.

  18. RG3 is only the best QB at Subway because Jared discovered his inner Michael Jackson.

    Eli would deserve the money…
    If he played Brady in the Superbowl every game.

    I think we should give Broadway Joe both of their salaries and sign him up for Naked Dating, Fireball edition.

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