The Band Wagon Overfloweth

“Y’know, one day, Tito Puente will be dead, and you’ll say, “Oh, I’ve been listening to him for years, and I think he’s fabulous.”

Bill Murray as John Winger in Stripes


Be careful what you wish for, America, because here they come.

As the Chicago Cubs closed out their dreaded rival, the St. Louis Cardinals, on Tuesday night, people everywhere, not just in Chicago, rejoiced in celebration.

Any excuse to party, I guess.

Load up the bandwagon, boys, because it’s a comin’ full steam ahead.

Let’s just say, hypothetically speaking, that I was at some bar that happened to be showing the Cubs game on television that night.  As the game closed down to its final inning, you could hear it coming a mile away.  “I used to live in bla bla bla” and “I remember when bla bla bla played back in the day” and “I’ve been rooting for the Cubs since bla bla bla.”

When Hector Rondon struck out Stephen Piscotty for the final out, I even saw one guy scream “YES!” and jump up and down for joy.

He was wearing a Padres hat.

No self-respecting Cubs fan not related to Tony Gwynn would be caught dead wearing a Padres hat.  Well, at least they’re in the National League.

If you thought Red Sox fans were bad after their 86 year escape from Losersville, stay tuned because you ain’t seen nothing yet.

I’m not saying the Cubs winning a World Series after over 100 years of sucking hind tit isn’t a great thing for sports in this country.  I’m saying the level of obnoxiousness and the amount of Cubs gear you’re about to see in your neighborhood will be enough to make you vomit blue.

Enter the BandwagonEnter the bandwagon.

I get that Americans love an underdog considering we were once one but come on.  Do Chicago fans the favor of allowing them to enjoy their moment without shitting all over their parade with your fairweatherness.  I’m pretty sure they’ll be too beer-drunk to notice the sudden spike in Cubs fans around the nation but the rest of us will.   So let’s take it down a notch.

Right before the final out, the guy in the Padres hat turned to a stranger and said rather tritely “We are witnessing history.”  And yes, while the Cubs had never before closed out a playoff series in Wrigley Field, I didn’t want to get all technical and suggest that we are always witnessing history.  For example, that was probably the four millionth time I’ve overheard some doucher stake claim to a team he doesn’t really root for.

My mom was born in Chicago.  In fact, much of that side of the family comes from the area.  That doesn’t mean I’m about to run out and buy myself a Ryne Sandberg jersey and cover myself in ivy.

I wish the Cubs all the best in the world even though I recognize the country may implode if the Cubbies are the last team standing.

If you’ve been a long-suffering fan of the loveable losers then by all means, laugh, cry and celebrate your team’s well-deserved accomplishment.  For the other fairweather fans that do not have a dog in this hunt, do us all a favor.  If it comes to pass that the Cubs defy all odds and win the World Series, recognize it for what it is but spare us all the “I’ve been rooting for the Cubs for years” baloney.

The victory is not yours to celebrate.

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17 Replies to “The Band Wagon Overfloweth”

  1. Ah yes, the bandwagon is taking on mass numbers which the fire marshal will have to moderate for safety purposes. Truthfully, the Cubs fans I have interacted with have paperwork to prove they have been “lifers” so I am happy for them. But there will indeed be so many faux fans flocking to the cause. I myself have more affection for Wrigley Field than who’s playing on it. And I wish Maddon hadn’t left the Bay as well. So carry on Chicago. Best of luck to those true blue sufferers that have followed the Cubbies all along. You know who you are and this is for you.

  2. Hello my Triple SC,

    My Gimma was a Red Sox Fan AND a Cubs fan. I get it honestly.  I cheered for them in 2003 and mourned  when they lost. 

    When I visited Wrigley Field in June 2014 to celebrate their 100th anniversary, I made a rather huge statement to the five men sitting in front of us during that game. I have even put my money where my mouth is in Vegas. I have to refer the Sportschumpateers to your August 2014 post ( link /comment from that post below). I’m on no bandwagon. I’m a passionate real deal fan…. and super thrilled to see the Cubs advancing to NLCS! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUBS!!!

    Dee Dee on August 12, 2014 at 4:02 pm said: And on a lighter note… Regarding the poor lovable losers. I also asked the guys in front of me about their thoughts on Theo. They all liked him and thought he was doing a good job – going in the right direction, but that they sucked right now. LOL.. But I got all 5 of them to look at me and this what I told them:
    “Do you remember the 2012 Red Sox? They were in last place! Worst losing record since the 1940s or something horrible like that! But I go to Fenway Park to celebrate their 100th anniversary in 2012 and they ended up winning the World Series the very next year in 2013. And here I am seeing the Cubbies in last place during their 100th anniversary – does this sound familiar? Don’t count the Cubbies out for World Series Champs in 2015; just saying!”
    Ha Ha Ha Oh yes, I did tell them that! Ha Ha Ha Giggle Giggle! And I told them to remember me next year when it happened! Dee Dee

  3. Question is , will Steve Bartman now be welcomed back into the Chicago Cubs’ fold or will Moises Alou still want to kick his @ss ?

    It will also be interesting to see whether or not Zach Greinke and the Los Angeles Dodgers can stymie the New York Mets’ inspirational season when they meet in game five of the NLDS decider. A lot is being asked of Mets’ pitcher Jacob deGrom in this contest.

    Check out my latest ode and let me know what you think

  4. Yeah Burnsy,

    More power to those who have suffered through it all.

    But I saw the same thing happen with Boston “fans” about a decade ago.

    I grew up a Sox fan. Became one in ’77. Suffered through Bucky Dent and Calvin Schiraldi (Buckner) and Aaron Boone and everything else over the years. In 2004 (and then again in 2007), I cried like a baby when they won.

    Now that I live in Tampa, I’ve switched my allegiances over to the Rays. Goodness knows they need it.

    But what I saw in 2004, I can’t say I’ve seen before. People coming out of the woodwork wearing Boston hats.

    I didn’t necessarily care, I just found it odd and kind of fake. I knew they weren’t as happy as I was so fuck ’em.

    Again, I’m ecstatic for Cubs fans, even though they took our fucking manager. This thing is far from over.

    But for those who go out and buy Cubs shit just because. Well, they deserve a special place in sports limbo.

  5. Dee Dee…

    I hope you didn’t think this post was aimed at you. Heck, you made the journey, wrote about it and invested your time and money in it.

    That’s definitely not the group I’m talking about.

    I’m talking about the guys in the Padres hat in the post who have no right other than that of the basic fan to pretend they’re something they’re not.

  6. Yea, Al, I’m not too sure about that whole Bartman thing although perhaps you’re right.

    Didn’t Bucker get a rousing ovation at Fenway after the Sox had finally won a series?

  7. Great Scott!
    Did you not watch Back to the Future, Marty?
    This is the Cubs year.

    …Unless the Dodgers end their 27 year drought instead.
    You can guess which one I’m rooting for.

  8. No Cubbies swag for me…but this time of year ya gotta root for someone to keep it interesting. I may as well pull for the team that kicked my Buccos to the curb. Plus, my grrl DD’s got action, so I’m gonna send some psychic energy that way, too 🙂 I’ll be rockin’ the “P” cap again next March.

  9. Oh heavens no!! I knew you weren’t talking about me!!! I knew you weren’t calling ME a bandwagoner. You’ve seen me in baseball freak mode at the 2013 ALDS for crying out loud. You know I love the sport and watch every playoff game, no matter who is playing. I was a Gary Carter fan in the 80s – thus followed and cheered for the Expos and Mets… AND a George Brett fan as well, so there’s my love for the Royals. But my love for the Red Sox and Cubs is ABOVE ALL – it’s a family tradition.

    I was just waiting for a good opportunity to remind anyone who will listen , that I made the statement in JUNE 2014 not to count the Cubbies out for the World Series in 2015! Many thought I was crazy, but look at them Cubbies playing in NLCS!! We still have some games to go, but I am still holding on strong to the hope that I am indeed, the Mrs. 100th Anniversary Celebrator good luck charm 😉 It worked for my Red Sox in 2012/2103…. And I pray it works well for my Cubs 2014/2105.

    We shall soon see!

  10. Can ya’ll send Theo down to Atlanta? – we could use him. On a side note(s) how come everybody UA beats manages to lose again thereby sending us to the abyss. Florida really looked impressive again this weekend after their week-long soap opera tho – McElwain for President! How bad does Harbough have to feel after that punt fiasco????? His wife probably took out life insurance from the stadium concourse.

  11. Hey my triple SC…
    You understand how superstitious we sports fans are… I can’t bring myself to look at those tickets! !!! Lol!!! I’ll find out soon enough;) and will let you know. In meantime, Go Cubs!!!

  12. Yeah, Moose, bizarre ending to that Michigan-Michigan State game. We were all watching it live from the bar and fortunately didn’t change the channel in the final seconds.

    I’m not saying Florida would have won that game with Grier but I would like to have seen how that kid performed on that road under that pressure.

    Guess that’ll have to wait.

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