Comedy Central crushes Coldplay with a simple hashtag

Coldplay artWith all this talk about Coldplay performing the Super Bowl halftime show, my favorite social media venue has come up with a hashtag to employ our sensibilities.  It’s called #betterhalftimeshows.

I’ve already discussed how the NFL could make the halftime show far more appealing to everyone with any sort of musical sense.  Roger Goodell just hasn’t returned my calls.

I actually have a friend who’s big into Coldplay.  It strains our relationship.  He is a nice guy and all but I just can’t take him seriously nor can I trust anything he ever says about music knowing that he’s jammed to their entire collection on compact disc.  He might even own a t-shirt.  Seriously, how is this band so popular if everybody hates them so much?

Well, with over 25,000 responses to the hashtag reported, it looks like I’m not alone in my bewilderment.  Since we’ve now resorted to bashing the halftime show before it’s even started, here’s a look at some of the more imaginative suggestions to keep us entertained between Super Bowl 50’s second and third quarters.  Kudos to Comedy Central’s Chris Hardwick and @midnight for coming up with the idea in the first place!

And now… on to the suggestions.


™ ‏@snowfright              

Cam and Peyton lip sync battle #BetterHalftimeShows


ChrisHumpherys ‏@SportsChump

Seeing Janet Jackson’s other nipple?  #BetterHalftimeShows


lubeman ‏@LicensedLubeMan

Literally anyone other than coldplay #BetterHalftimeShows


Jeremy Warren ‏@grimweasel

Making a sandwich #BetterHalftimeShows


Bob Ross paintsBlue Rhythmz ‏@shadowraiken

#BetterHalftimeShows reruns of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross.




Bobby Stinson ‏@Britneyizer

Bill Cosby “How to Get Laid in 20 Minutes” Seminar  #BetterHalftimeShows


Monica Santa ‏@monicasanta94

Sarah Palin stars on “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” #BetterHalftimeShows



Daniel Land ‏@Land_of_the_D

Make Broncos from Denver play actual Panthers from the Carolinas.



GallagherTim Armitage ‏@ulTIMate26

Smashing pumpkins…and by that, I mean Gallagher. #BetterHalftimeShows



Michael Monday™ ‏@monday40

James Earl Jones does @taylorswift13 shake it off in spoken word. #BetterHalftimeShows



Paul McElligott ‏@PaulMcElligott

Concussion: The Musical #BetterHalftimeShows


Jared Montana ‏@Jarmadillos

5 people in the stadium are picked at random, and the first one to name three Coldplay songs wins $1 million #BetterHalftimeShows


travtuck ‏@travtuck69

Nfl players spelling bee  #BetterHalftimeShows



JR Roberts ‏@JRRoberts8

O.J.Simpson memorabilia scavenger hunt #betterhalftimeshows


Are you not entertained


RJ Grant ‏@TardisGrant

Counting Crowe. Its a Counting Crows tribute band but they’re dressed & sound like Russell Crowe characters #BetterHalftimeShows



Gordon Shumway ‏@ProfessorJester


All NFL players with domestic abuse charges get tasered for charity.



Rob Woodyard ‏@robwoodyard1

Mexican wrestling, since it will be illegal by next year’s game after President Trump takes over.  #BetterHalftimeShows



Dominick Cobb ‏@TotSM

Watching the Caitlyn Jenner operation #BetterHalftimeShows #PointsMe



Daniel Ashley ‏@DanielAshley13

#BetterHalftimeShows Actually teaching dogs how to play poker



Priest White Lotus ‏@PriestWhtLotus

Ted Cruz Kissing Booth #BetterHalftimeShows



Glenn Frappier ‏@g_frapp

#BetterHalftimeShows @midnight  Maury Povich reading DNA results to the Players.



Gordon Shumway ‏@ProfessorJester


Republican debate held at the Apollo.



Snorkels The Pug Dog ‏@snorkelsthepug

Sumo Rodeo  #BetterHalftimeShows



William Wellek ‏@RRPounder

The Rhonda Rousey choke out a Kardashian for charity special. #BetterHalftimeShows @midnight



Moses ‏@chawkpositivity

Kardashians on Ice #BetterHalftimeShows @midnight



CostasMatt Hicks ‏@MattMhicks110

Quarterbacks and punters play D & D with Bob Costas as the dungeon master @midnight #BetterHalftimeShows



Liam Cuccia ‏@LiamaiL23

Cast of Sesame Street performs classics by Lil Jon #BetterHalftimeShows


Tom Wells ‏@kauyin

Coldplay leaving the stadium, to the sounds of “Na Na Na Na, hey hey hey, goodbye.” #BetterHalftimeShows



ChrisHumpherys ‏@SportsChump

Seeing if Johnny Manziel can stay sober for the entire thirty minutes #BetterHalftimeShows



Murph ‏@ZenMonster13

#BetterHalftimeShows @midnight

One word…  Shatner!

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12 Replies to “Comedy Central crushes Coldplay with a simple hashtag”

  1. So what you’re saying there will be no wardrobe malfunction ? Chris Martin grabbing his crotch while his ex , Gwyneth Paltrow salivates .

    Finally Tony Dungy gets his due as a member of the 2016 Hall of Fame class Question is , does he go in as a recipient concerning his contributions to the Buccaneers or the Colts ?

  2. The last time I was disinterested in the Super Bowl was when the Bucs played the Raiders. I wanted to go see a movie but got pressured into going to a party because “everyone watches the Super Bowl!” Now I have to choose between Scam Newton and Peyton Manning, who unfortunately plays for John Elway and the team to cut Tebow! (I haven’t forgiven Elway for the blowing off Baltimore when he was drafted because he was too good for them!) Throw in this band Cold Play, who I know nothing about and I really just need to go to the movies. Is the latest Star Wars movie still in the theaters? I only saw the original Star Wars once and never saw any of the others, so this tells you how much I’d rather see a movie!

  3. I’ve always thought that players or coaches having to choose one particular team when being inducted is silly, Al.

    I mean, Dungy played a huge influence in both Indy and Tampa Bay’s growth?

    Why should players have to choose?

    That being said, he chooses Indy.

  4. Ha ha, some good ones in here… bummed I missed this hashtag come through on Twitter when it was actually live. Oh well.

    There is definitely love/hate with that band… more than most. Their sound doesn’t typically fit to Super Bowl… although I did think the montage of past super halftime shows was pretty cool…

  5. Rather than the writers choosing, I believe it should be left to coaches and league executives for the Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, !

    So Phil Jackson has done the unthinkable and fired his b@stard child Derek Fisher with Kurt Rambis taking over the coaching responsibilities . Can’t say, I didn’t see this coming as I felt Fisher was a joke of a hire to begin with apart from his now hooking up with a former teammate’s ex-wife while he (Fisher) was still married .

    The Knicks suck and will continue to suck , in spite of the optimism shown by their inane fans .

  6. Once they leave college, I could care less. I care a little if they go to a team I like I didn’t even pull for Dallas when Herschel was there!

  7. KP…

    As was them bringing out all the previous Super Bowl MVPs.

    I couldn’t help but think, of all the great quarterbacks we’ve seen over the years, Brett Favre was conspicuously absent from that list.

  8. Yea, Al, I’m not sure what good firing Derek Fisher will do.

    Haven’t they improved from this year to last?

    I’m hearing the Zen Master wants to bring in names like Shaw and Walton but I’m not sure what that will do either.

    Fix that roster and you’ll win games. Until then, it doesn’t matter who’s your coach.

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