Two days in the life: A selfie-made city story

By now, many of you have heard about my latest and far too brief adventure in New York City… but in case you hadn’t, here’s how the trip came about.

With my birthday looming, my mother, whose love for me knows no bounds, decided to do something special.

I had mentioned to her in passing that one of my favorite bands, People Under The Stairs, was playing in the city on one of my nights off and that it would be cool to fly up there and check out their show. PUTS is not a very well-known hip-hop act despite their lengthy and fantastic fucking discography that’s clearly worth traveling 1200 miles for. They combine energetic emceeing with old school beats to create what is in my mind the best hip-hop out there. If you’re into funk music, it doesn’t get much better.

Knowing it generally takes an act of Congress to get me off my sofa on my days off, Mom decided to buy me two early birthday presents: a plane ticket to the city and a concert ticket to see the band play there. This is what she does. Who was I to say no?

I decided to document the trip not in long run-on sentences as I usually do but in selfies because, well, I’m hip and that’s what all the kids are doing these days.

The rules were as follows: 1) I had to be the one taking the photo. 2) I, or at least some part of me, had to be somewhere in the photo. 3) There would be no selfie sticks. Not only am I not sixteen but I didn’t want some random pickpocket mistaking this native New Yorker for a tourist while running off to sell my cell phone to the highest bidder. No, I was better than that.

So come with me, won’t you on my selfie-righteous tour of the Big Apple.

Meet my flight coordinator, Pepe. Pepe was very friendly, for six in the morning, and was happy to see me off. He wished me a safe flight. — Meet my flight coordinator, Pepe. Pepe was very friendly (for six in the morning) and was happy to see me off. He wished me a safe flight.

Who remembers the days when you didn't have to strip naked before boarding an airplane? Good thing I wore matching socks #cavitysearchoptional — Who remembers the days when you didn’t have to strip naked before boarding an airplane? Good thing I wore matching socks #cavitysearchoptional

Playing Scrabble with my nemeses, the Akerleys, while waiting to board the plane. How do you spell excited... and sleep-deprived? — Playing Scrabble with my nemeses, the Akerleys, while waiting to board the plane. How do you spell excited… and sleep-deprived?

It's seven in the damn morning and I haven't slept yet. Where the hell is the beverage cart? Side note: Wouldn't flying be so much more enjoyable if passengers could check crying babies with the rest of the luggage below? — It’s seven in the damn morning and I haven’t slept yet. Where the hell is the beverage cart? Side note: Wouldn’t flying be so much more enjoyable if passengers could check crying babies with the rest of the luggage below?

106th and Broadway aka the old hood — 106th and Broadway aka the old neighborhood

Shopping to find Lionel Messi shirts already on the sales racks. He had just lost to Chile and announced his retirement from international play one day prior. #Quitter On a side note, in two days of searching the city, I found not a single Derrick Rose Knicks jersey. Someone should probably call their marketing department. — Shopping to find Lionel Messi shirts already on the sales racks. He had just lost to Chile and announced his retirement from international play one day prior #Quitter. On a side note, in two days of searching the city, I found not a single Derrick Rose Knicks jersey. Someone should probably call their marketing department.

First beer of the trip. Knicks fans should be used to drowning their sorrows.

Who, other than perhaps Jim Bakker, names their band Holy Fuck? And no, this was not the band I flew here to see.

This was. People Under The Stairs at the Highline Ballroom.

Trip to the Whitney — A trip to the Whitney

Mama said knock you out. So Jack Dempsey did just that.

If you can read this, you're probably offended. — If you can read this, you’re probably offended.

Deli counter the following morning for Reuben, latka and tradition

... and even more art. — … and even more art.

Picked up a used copy of Chuck Palahniuk's "Snuff" for seven bucks from a street vendor near NYU. It's a book about a gangbang. I'm not sure there's too much dirtier than the feeling you get reading it while riding a NYC subway while young children are staring at you wondering what you're reading. — Picked up a used copy of Chuck Palahniuk’s “Snuff” for seven bucks from a street vendor near NYU. It’s a book about a gangbang. I’m not sure there’s too much dirtier than the feeling you get reading it on a NYC subway while young children are staring at you wondering what you’re reading.

37 - On my way to the PUTS show — On my way to the PUTS show

Postgaming with Thes One from People Under The Stairs

Should I go with Portrait of the Artist or Ulysses on this one?

Still in a New York State of mind, one final stroll

I love you, my hometown. Until we meet again.

And lastly, some selfie-less photos from the trip that I just felt needed to be included. Thanks for coming along for the ride and thanks, mom, for funding the project. XOXO

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23 Replies to “Two days in the life: A selfie-made city story”

Pass on my regards to D Rose and the rest of the idiots within the lunatic asylum known as the New York Knicks ! Have fun while you’re there bro !!!

Al…

I’m all aboard on the Knicks bandwagon this year for a number of reasons.

First of all, I’ve given up on the Magic. It makes absolutely no sense to root for that team. And secondly, at least Knicks fans now have something to root for. When’s the last time a) this team has won anything of merit and b) ownership even put forth the effort?

Great pics. So glad you went and had such a good time!! Pjd

WOW!!! LOVE this post… GREAT pictures & captions. Loved seeing the sights thru your eyes. Thanks for sharing with us all & so very glad you had a great time. And how neat is it that you got to talk & take a selfie with the band guy (& autographed poster)! Verrrrrrrrry cool SC!!! PJD ( who pushed me to push you to do it) & I are so happy you got away & had a terrific time. Love this post Sir! xox Love you. Happy early BD to the best son-in-the-world. xoxo

Your mom is the best. This was so great, we miss the city so much. Thank you for the pictures.

Chris, that was very cool. It was great to see the Apple again. Kudos to JD and Mom for their involvement.
Jim

PJD and Mos…

Thanks a ton for the shove. I’d like to think I made the most of it.

CH…

First of all, love the initials, he he.

Second of all, yea. We all went up there a few Thanksgivings ago after years of not having visited the city and vowed it wouldn’t be that long before we visited again.

Thanks to them, it wasn’t.

Jimboree…

Without sounding totally biased, there’s no other place like it on earth.

Chris,
Thanks for one of your best posts ever. Runnerup to the Roast post. Rekindled old memories and GOOD NYC food…..not the drek we get here from wannabe chefs(exceptions).

Mom’s are the greatest. Lost mine a few years ago @95. Feel fortunate to have one around and the unconditional love they bring.

What great photos….. Omg!!! I love Brass Monkey. (A great bar) i felt I was on the trip! Glad you had fun dude! Me: Chris, who did you go with? Chris: me, myself, & I. 😉 thanks Sports Chump mom for sending your kid.

Super fun post Triple SC. Loved all the selfies and your photo comments cracked me up. Looks like you packed alot in your trip. Your mom rocks and is awesome to make those special plans for such a memorable birthday celebration!

I had not heard of People Under The Stairs, but no surprise there since I am a hard rocker who tried to get to the In This Moment Tour with Hellyeah back on July 2 in St. Petersburg @ Jannus Live. I just couldn’t make it work!!

Happy Early Birthday Chris !!
Dee Dee

Raised fist Chris.
….I had no idea you were an OJ juror.
(Just saw that on OJ:Made in America)

Never heard of these guys, but will be checking them out on youTube today since I’m a hip-hop head and love funk.

Pops used to play this one with his band when I was a kid:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Vf0KwuCrvY

Still one of my all time faves

Bets…

I am most definitely blessed to have her in my life. And speaking of roasts, with a birthday coming up, perhaps we should get the band back together for a little spit.