What is this Penetrex you speak of? A slogan contest for the ages

I told Mother of SportsChump lately that my foot was hurting.  Being the loving, caring supermom that she is, she brought me a care package full of goodies.

Said care package included fresh fruit (not clinically proven to cure foot aches), new flip flops (aka fancy, formal Florida footwear) and a jar of some sort of space age, foot balm.

PenetrexThe balm she brought me is called… wait for it… Penetrex, which doesn’t sound like an ointment I would want anywhere on my body.  But hey, it’s the thought that counts.

Since the brand name Penetrex has been stuck in my head ever since she handed me the bottle, a brand name I can never un-see, I thought I’d host a little slogan contest in its honor.  Sure the name is a little ahem, intrusive but perhaps the right slogan can have this product flying off the shelves.

The reader who can best come up with an all-new Penetrex slogan will receive a lifetime supply of herbal cream, a trendy applicator at no extra charge and my sincerest blessings that they’ll never have to use either.

SportsChump Pimps Penetrex

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20 Replies to “What is this Penetrex you speak of? A slogan contest for the ages”

  1. Penetrex – goes deeper than Calvin Johnson on a fly route. It’s a Preparation H-Bomb!

  2. Slogan?

    More like a lawsuit.
    Those fuckers jacked my porn name without my permission.

  3. Go get ’em, Bleed.

    Porn names?

    An ex-girlfriend and I once painted the inside of her house back in the day. I, clearly being of sound mind and body, decided we should come up with painting porno names.

    Mine was Michelagelong.

  4. “Penetrex: I tried it and what a wonder! My feet still hurt, but my sex life has never been better.”

    And btw, you can keep the applicator – sounds like it might hurt.

    How did your site go from sports to porn discussions? Am I partially to blame? Hope I don’t get you caught up in a federal investigation! Keep your posts coming!

    I want to see something from you on the Lochte deal once this fiasco plays out. What idiots! Come home & play douchebags (although Brazilian women are smoking).

  5. I do believe this is Pati’s first ever comment on the site.

    Likin’ it!

    I was thinking something along the lines of …

    Penetrex. When KY just won’t do.

  6. SportsChump reflects life, my dear Moose.

    So it only makes sense that there’s a little porn mixed in for good measure.

    Considering the Penetrex was more or less a result of athletic injury, I felt it was fair play.

    And yea, Lochte. I’ve already seen a few good Lochte/Manti Teo memes out there. It was bound to happen.

  7. Hey Chris, your Mom knows what she’s doing. That stuff is unbelievable. In the last couple of years my husband & I have used it for Plantar Fasciitis & Tennis Elbow and it’s been more effective than ANYTHING else. Over 13,000 Reviews and 4.5 Stars at Amazon…looks like your Mom ain’t the only fan!

  8. I am speechless.

    Never thought do-gooder-loving-Mom-deed would turn into a public porn-name-athon. (??? Arg)

    Ah well.

    Hope your foot is better SC. Guess I will read the labels better before gift-giving? 😛 ha ha

  9. Nellie…

    One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that MoS is rarely wrong about anything.

    Unless it has to do with spelling, math or being on time for anything. Not her strong suits.

  10. It’s all in good fun, MoS.

    I’m just giving my readers what they want.

    What’s that? A commercial for Penetrex is in the works? I’ll get to working on a script ASAP.

  11. Ok- but really nothing can beat your Tiger Woods video! I watched it again tonight. Pretty freakin’ hysterical. Maybe we should open a production studio?????❤️

    Hopefully the creative, writing & producing skills … along with editing 1-most excellent TW video AND being a “super mom” outweighs the math, spelling & tardiness?? ? Ha ha?

    Funny post SC & big thx 2 Nellie for the shout-out & validation!! ???

  12. “Penetrex, for going deep with or without compliance”

    OK there were too many available, all of which makes me a perv. But you knew that soooooo…quit asking

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