Derrick Rose has gone missing and other Knickerbocker tales of woe

“Bueller?  Bueller?  Frye?”

-Ben Stein taking roll call in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

“Murray.  Present.”

– Rhys Darby as Murray Hewitt taking roll call in Flight of the Conchords


You might remember this for it wasn’t all that long ago.

In preparing for another NBA season, I suddenly became excited, even more so than I normally do when hoops rolls around.

The New York Knicks, a team I’ve longed to support for ages (if only they had given me a reason) had finally become contenders in the Eastern Conference.  It’s delusional to think that any team will actually win the Eastern Conference until LeBron James decides he’s human but by making certain roster moves, it looked, if only for a moment, that the Knicks would be competitive, perhaps even challenge LeBron’s stranglehold.

 That was me falling for the banana in the tailpipe.

It’s been ages since the Knicks have been in any way relevant.  The signing of Carmelo Anthony in 2011 gave Knicks fans hope, albeit fleeting.  Phil Jackson’s return, not to coach but to call the shots as GM, gave Knicks fans even further hope that the team might be moving in a more positive direction.

And last off-season, the Knicks signed Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah, two high-energy, however, older players who it was thought could be what the team needed to get them over the hump.  All those elements combined what most hail as the next Dirk Nowitzki, a Latvian kid named Kristaps Porzingis with outstanding range and length, were enough to reach the playoffs and maybe even contend for something real.

Then Derrick Rose went missing.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a star athlete just go up and missing on us.  One could joke that the entire New York Giants team failed to show up in Green Bay last weekend but it’s been a while since an athlete literally went AWOL.  Heck, with TMZ around, it’s amazing an athlete can take a crap in private without it making headlines.

As it turns out, Rose allegedly left the team for undisclosed family matters.  He has since returned to the team but earlier this week Rose was a no call no show.  As of yet, the team is keeping this matter in house.  Rose was fined for his absence.

The team will ultimately make a statement explaining where he was, or they may not, but the whole incident is disturbing if you’re a Knicks fan.  The team is playing like shit.  They’re under .500 and if the playoffs started today, they’d be out. Joakim Noah is averaging under six points in 23 minutes and Carmelo Anthony is back to shooting a career low from the floor.

So much for Knicks fans having anything to root for; I guess I’m a slow learner.  I just wanted this team to be competitive so badly that I was willing to believe that putting together a bunch of big names (that are actually broken down parts, apparently both physically and mentally) might mean something in a conference that experiences a huge drop-off after Cleveland.


Nov 2, 2016; New York, NY, USA; New York Knicks point guard Derrick Rose (25) controls the ball against the Houston Rockets in front of New York Knicks center Joakim Noah (13) during the third quarter at Madison Square Garden. Mandatory Credit: Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports ORG XMIT: USATSI-323472 ORIG FILE ID:  20161102_pjc_ae5_133.JPG

This is the point of this article where I’m about to preach that all is not lost, that there is still plenty of basketball left to be played, that Rose will come back inspired, a changed man, but that would be falling for the banana in the tailpipe again.  This story has no happy ending.  They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  It’s about time Knicks fans embrace a healthy dose of sanity and realize that in 2017, the Knickerbockers are once again who we thought they were so there’s no sense letting them off the hook.

As for Rose’s abrupt exit stage left, the truth is only he knows why he left and why he didn’t tell anyone he was doing so, not a coach, player or teammate he may have been close to, which leads me to believe he’s not close to anyone on the roster.  And that’s not good.

Not for Derrick Rose, not for the Knicks and not for their fans.  At this point, at least they’re used to it.

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11 Replies to “Derrick Rose has gone missing and other Knickerbocker tales of woe”

  1. Was Rose looking over the transcripts for his GED , SAT’s or making sure there isn’t another paternity suit down the line ? Goddamn the Knicks suck this season. Triangle offense or not just send that bunch of dic#wads (team) off to the Bermuda Triangle once and for all , along with Phil Jackson.

  2. The Chump got chumped?

    The on-paper tiger has reared it’s ugly claws and cut ya, huh?
    As a long suffering fan, I can understand your optimism before the season, but being that you’re usually a pretty pragmatic dude, I can’t.

    Not the first person to be duped by Hope and Change.

  3. Al…

    I’ll give credit where credit it due.

    You were the one who told me to temper my expectations with this team. I thought Noah and Rose still had something left in the tank.

    I couldn’t have been more wrong about both.

  4. Bleed…

    As a Gator alum, you know I love me some Noah.

    But what was all that one-in-a-million talk? Remember at the beginning of the season, Noah talked about what a dream it was to return home and play for the Knicks?

    This guy is not that old. Why the hell is he running around the court like an old man?

    And Rose clearly needs a sports therapist. Look, I’m a momma’s boy so I’m never gonna criticize a guy for looking to his mom for support but damn, dude, you’re the point guard for the New York Knicks. Act like it.

    Or maybe he is.

  5. Hey, it happened to us Lakers fans too when we opted for plan B following the veto and traded for damaged goods in Steve Nash.

    You got two of those in Rose and Noah.

    I too was initially optimistic, but Nash’s goose was already cooked….So are Rose and Noah. Porzingis is your future. Phil should be taking and/or making calls to anyone who will pick up and dangle Melo, Rose and Noah. Good luck getting any takers for the latter two.

    …I’d consider package deals for Porzingis too if I were Phil.

    Meantime, all you can do is enjoy the dumpster fire.

  6. Rose apologized to his teammates……….but no call/text prior to the AWOL? A guy with gimpy knees, lacking responsibility, now seeking a max contract next year? Thats a big LOL! He’s not that good to command that kinda $. Maybe we should ask Calipari where they went wrong in college.

  7. In the first game of the 2012 playoffs against the 76ers (yes…those Sixers) Rose went down with a torn acronym. I guess Tom Thibodeau felt since he had so many other injuries going on it was ok to leave him out there. What could possibly go wrong? My wife and I were in a restaurant for the first time when it happened – watching it on their TV. I said to her…well he’s done. Credit to him for not being done at all…but Derrick Rose’s Day Off is giving the New York tabloid writers plenty of overtime. Setting the precedent you won’t get suspended if you walk away for a day is interesting. Maybe this will catch on in the NBA like spontaneously sitting out games. Don’t even need to call in or show up. Beautiful.

  8. Bleed…

    Here’s the difference.

    By the time Nash got to La La Land, he was in his late thirties. Noah and Rose are nowhere near that. They just look and act like it.

    And I’m not so sure about Porzingis, man. They love him there. In fact, he might be the only player on that team worth keeping.

    I know Phil has legs to stand on in NYC, that are quickly wearing out, but moving the big kid might be the last straw.

  9. Bets…

    Rose lost that final game in college to Kansas. Ever since then I wondered whether he had it in him to be great. That was one game he should have simply taken over.

    I get that he’s won an MVP as a pro but eh, I’m not convinced he was the best player in the league that year and as we all know, even a blind squirrel can find a nut every now and again.

    What has he done for me lately? And how the hell, or more likely, who the hell is going to give that guy a max contract?

    Knicks-Bulls on TV tonight. Rest assured I’ll be watching.

  10. Agreed on Porzingis, but any GM worth his salt, especially on a ship taking on so much water so quickly, would be doing themselves a disservice by not listening to any and all reasonable offers.

    Chances are he stays because like you say, he’s popular with the fans. So is Melo, but the age factor matters in that case. Might want to get what you can for him and start looking ahead.

    No one will trade for Rose at this point. Not even Cleveland. I didn’t realize he was on an expiring contract until today…And he’s angling for a max? Good freakin luck Derrick.

    Noah…Well…He had his time it seems, but at that price and for what he brings or better yet, doesn’t bring at this point pretty much makes him dead weight. Sad, because like you, I was a fan. Dude had limited skills but always played with heart.

    Again, I kinda feel your pain through my Lakers. We wasted money on Deng and Mozgov last off season for no good reason, though both seem more serviceable than Rose and Noah at the moment. Just less star potential. For your sake and the loyal and long suffering Knicks faithful, I hope they find some semblance of their mojo.

    But I wouldn’t hold my breath.

  11. Again, Bleed, I’m not too sure any of it matters.

    Short of maybe Wade and ‘Melo playing on the same team, I don’t see anyone taking down Cleveland in the East.

    If Rose is pitching for a max deal, which will likely be his last major deal with any team in the league, he better start playing like it.

    I mean, he’s not even a draw anymore.

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