Michael Jordan to bring about peace in the Middle East

Adam Silver on the phoneAdam Silver recently placed a phone call.

Upset with the goings on at Madison Square Garden this past week, the NBA Commissioner realized he had a real quagmire on his hands.

Knicks owner James Dolan had former NBA great Charles Oakley forcibly removed from the arena on prime time television.  Needless to say, the video went viral and brought back memories of how bloody the cleaned up sport could be.  Back in the day, the NBA Finals weren’t even shown live.  The sport was wildly physical and violent.  Clotheslines were the norm and fisticuffs were commonplace.

Former commissioner David Stern realized that if he wanted to make his sport more palatable to the masses, the violence would have to cease.  His successor, Adam Silver, is carrying the torch.

Air bat signalThe Oakley scrum was the most violent act we’ve seen in the NBA in ten years and it didn’t even happen on the court.  Silver had to do something.

So what did he do to remedy the situation?

He sent up the bat signal.  Except in this spotlight to the sky, there was no bat in the middle, only the symbol of Air Jordan.

I can see it now, Jordan puffing away at his expensive cigar, sporting his $250 Nike golf shirt and $350 Nike slacks, about to tee off on the fourth tee at some exclusive golf club (none of which he had to pay before because he’s Michael Jordan) when his phone rings.



Silver tells Jordan of the news of which he is already well aware.  He had spoken with Oakley the night of his arrest.  Former teammates, Oakley was the guy that allowed Jordan to drive the lanes freely.  Mess with Jordan and that meant you messed with Oakley and nobody in their right mind wants to do that.  It’s why Dolan made sure there were seven security guards nearby when he had him removed.  It probably even dawned on Dolan that that might not be enough.

Enter Michael Jordan, ambassador of the sport for when Michael talks, people listen.  As they should.  NBA ratings haven’t been the same since he left twenty years ago and that’s with marketable guys like Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal and LeBron James taking over the reins.

So begins Michael’s new part-time gig.  Sports icon, marketing genius, team owner and GM, all that must now take a back seat to his new role as mediator, or perhaps I should say commissioner consiglieri.

magic-johnson-lakersHe wouldn’t be the first iconic figure to take on such a role.  In October of 2015, Steve Spurrier resigned as football coach of the University of South Carolina.  The lifelong Gator head coach, alum and Heisman Trophy winner must have felt conflicted over the years going against his alma mater.  Within a year of leaving Columbia, he was back on the University of Florida’s payroll as a special ad-visor (see what I did there?).  The move made perfect sense.  Cut the old ball coach a few million a year and let him do what he does.  Similarly, the Los Angeles Lakers have just hired former great Magic Johnson to do the same because, well, he knows a little bit about basketball and those currently running the Lakers do not.

It only makes sense for the NBA to do the same for Michael, who clearly has a vested interest in the league.  Fewer people watching basketball means fewer people buying Nike gear.

Sure there’s an inherent conflict of interest considering Michael is a team owner/GM but who cares.  If he can create peace between Dolan and Oakley, anything is possible.

We can send Jordan to create long-awaited peace in the middle east.  If anyone can do it, he can.  I mean, they saw him play, right?  Jordan can resolve global warming, make Dane Cook funny and get people to ease up on our current president.  Okay, that might be too much to ask.

Or maybe not.  He is Michael Jordan, winner of rings, slayer of dragons and doer or no evil.

Next up for Jordan, rescuing kitties from trees, babies from burning buildings and the long-awaited cure for the common cold.  He’ll sling on his limited issue Nike cape (to be found encased in glass at a Dick’s Sporting Goods near you), leap Madison Square Garden in a single bound and create peace and harmony between current Knicks owner and one of its former beloved players.

The only thing he won’t be able to do is make that team win.  That’s too much to ask of anyone.

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21 Replies to “Michael Jordan to bring about peace in the Middle East”

  1. Adam Silver is upset with the ongoing incompetency seen with the New York Knicks , but looks the other way while Philadelphia 76ers’ owner Joshua Harris tanks the season , while buying non-core basketball assets to bolster the franchise’s profitability. That’s the sort of bull$hit the NBA hierarchy seems to countenance rather than actually holding teams such as Knicks and Sixers accountable for their actions.

    The league is seriously becoming a real joke for all of the wrong reasons , much of through the lack real leadership by the league hierarchy , the owners and general managers.

  2. MJ is the new Henry Kissinger of the league (NBA) ? LOL,LOL !!! Curt Schilling will now be brought under the instructions of MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred to groom and mentor young baseball players who have an ego problem. That’s the sort of idiocy we all would like to see from two sports without any real leadership whatsoever.



  3. I was quite surprised at not only the quickness this peace mission came about but also the peace makers. I guess the violence over Charles’ departure from the Garden was much worse optics for the new Commish and the NBA than I realized. That being said I’m not sure how Jordan got invited via voice to the summit meeting. We riff on the Knicks a lot but it goes without saying the NBA could use a team in New York that actually is competitive. I guess if they can’t be competitive then the next thing to hope for with them is stable. I don’t see them winning with the current ownership and leadership. (Seven security guards…definitely NOT enough…) As for La La Land…I hope Jim Buss takes the next bus out of Los Angeles and lets Magic (and Kobe?) have at it. The league can use a viable Lakers franchise also.

  4. The most violent act I can recall over the last 10 years in the NBA was the vetoed CP3 trade.

  5. Bleed…

    Damn, that CP3 veto still stings, huh?

    Considering the guy’s never healthy and he didn’t have much to work with (that’s already on your roster), I think it’s time to get over it.

    Find a PG all your own and let Paul dip into obscurity.

  6. Fair assessment, Bets.

    Perhaps Knick great would be more appropriate?

    If I assembled an all-time great Knick roster, couldn’t you see Oakley coming off the bench to, ahem, set a tone?

  7. Al…

    Does it surprise you that NBA Finals television ratings, and we’ve had some good ones lately, have come nowhere close to what they were when Michael was playing?

    Curry vs LeBron? Nobody has any interest in that?

  8. Burnsy…

    Four teams in LA and New York and none of them have a shot to win a title.

    I joked about it in the post (shocker) but I think Silver made the right call. Had Jordan never been close to or played with Oakley, I’m sure he wouldn’t have gotten the call but he did and it was. We’ll see how it pans out.

    Bringing Jordan back into the game in any way can’t be all that bad considering that’s really the last time people watched.

  9. Ad-visor. Ouch. Now you are stooping to my level ! With no pun intended toward the coaching brothers!
    Keep up the good work!!

  10. It set us back a decade and likely cost us another title or two.
    I’ll be somewhat over it soon, as will the franchise.

    But still…
    Fuck David Stern.

  11. Bleed…

    I don’t know if this’ll make you feel any better but I think you’re overestimating Paul’s abilities.

    Even with him, that Lakers team wouldn’t have been any better than what the Clippers have assembled. Worse coach too. So how is it that you think Paul to L.A. (the real L.A.) would have guaranteed a title?

    I smell a point-counterpoint coming up.

    Should we hop in our Dolorean?

  12. The Flux Capacitor might get indigestion.

    Obviously nothing is guaranteed, but with CP3, Kobe, Dwight Coward and a still effective Artest back then, we might have had a shot.

    As far as the Clippers comparison, Dwight and DeAndre is a wash because Paul would have LobCityied him all day too. Kobe would have had way less ball handling with CP3 there, allowing him to conserve energy and get more open looks. Paul is the Clippers alpha dog…Wouldn’t have been the case with Kobe as his running mate. Sadly, we’ll never know thanks to Devil Stern.

    Sour grapes, I know but it is what is is…We was robbed.
    Even the leprechaun loving blogger says we got fucked…


    Sour grapes, I know but it is what is is…We was hoodwinked by Stern.

  13. I’m just playing a little devil’s advocate with ya’ here, brosef.

    I think we should keep in mind that Paul hasn’t gotten his team to a Western Conference Finals.

    By the time he would have gotten to the Lakers (2011?), Kobe was all but old…. or at least oldish (only 32 but a lot of miles after that fifth ring). I’m not saying that wouldn’t have made for a formidable backcourt but I’m still not convinced that’s a done deal for a title.

    Again, I like Chris Paul and I agree that there were some shenanigans with that deal. I just think we’re giving Paul a little too much credit.

    If you’re drafting a team today, how many point guards are you taking before Chris Paul? Keep in mind he’ll be 32 this year, his scoring and assists are down (slightly) and the Clippers are still eh of a basketball team.

    Side note: Do you think Chris Paul on a 2013 Lakers team could have made the Finals and challenged those Heat teams?

  14. I know man…I ain’t hot, just passionate about the P&G.

    CP wouldn’t have had to be the leader on the Lakers squad, Kobe would. CP would made everything easier and more fluid is all. And his age now is what it is…At the time of the trade, he was in his prime.

    A ring wasn’t a done deal by any means, chances for one were just much, much better than what we’ve seen from LAL since Stern pulled the rug out.

    Look how many free agents flocked to the Clips since his arrival there. I think you would have seen that same type of influx go P&G had Stern not intervened. Taking all the what-ifs into account, and the Lakers being the Lakers, yes…I do think we could have competed with the Heat.

  15. You think they’re gonna get rid of Jim Buss?

    Or perhaps keep him but in a capacity that doesn’t require scouting talent?

    Just send him off to his daddy’s old suite at the Playboy Mansion and let him watch games from there.

    Or is he no longer allowed there either?

  16. I’m not a fan, nor a hater of Jim Buss. I think his report card has mixed results, but his effectiveness was heavily affected by the veto. The media has painted him as inept and many voices on social media and blogs have banged the same drum for so long (including many negative Tweets from his likely successor, Magic Johnson) that it doesn’t really matter now because public sentiment against him is so bad that his time is likely up either way.

    Lakers fans have been so spoiled with success for so long by Jim’s father that most feel it’s a birthright to win titles at least every 10 years or so. Listening to local sports talk radio is painful because the fans are so naive when it comes to the Lakers. The trade scenarios alone that they throw around daily are straight out of Alice in Wonderland. Let’s just say that I think the majority of “Lakers fans” aren’t Mensa members, but think they are and are very vocal about what they want, which is winning so Lakers management is under more pressure than most other NBA franchises because of the track record.

    Jim, if not let go completely, will likely be taking a back seat role…Which is what his dad did with great success. Might be a win by default. Stay out of the way and let the basketball minds do what you pay them to do.

    There has been lots of talk about bringing Jerry West back into the fold as he’s a free agent at the end of the year. His son has been being groomed for years within the Lakers organization, which might be a plus in our favor to draw him back home. Phil Jackson is also gone, so that should help too. I’d love to see that happen.

  17. West might already be one of the best (if not the best?) GMs ever.

    His resume speaks for itself.

    What he did with that Warriors team is nothing short of spectacular.

    If he goes back to L.A. and rebuilds that team into a contender, let’s just say you’d have to put him right near the damn top.

    Did you ever finish his book?

  18. Yep. Enjoyed it thoroughly.
    Starting another one on West by Roland Lazenby soon. I recently finished When The Game Was Ours on Magic & Bird that I highly recommend too.

  19. Bleed…

    I own When the Game Was Ours. Just haven’t gotten to it yet.

    I’m stuck reading Karl’s “Furious George” which is average at best, even with the dirt it brings up.

    Hoping to have a review of it up eventually if I can ever get through it.

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