Twitter celebrates May the Fourth

Geeks of the world unite!

A day before we invented one American holiday (Cinco de Mayo), Star Wars fans, of which there are plenty, have invented a holiday all their own.  It’s called May the Fourth, which is obviously a play off one of the most famous Star Wars lines ever uttered: May the force be with you.

In honor of geekdom’s most precious holiday, the clever folks at Comedy Central’s @midnight asked Star Wars fans to come up with the best answer to what #StarWarsTaughtMe.  Surprisingly, this didn’t break Twitter, probably because Star Wars geeks are the ones running the internet.  (I guess I shouldn’t talk mean about them considering they’re the ones controlling my traffic.)

Oh, what the heck!  I’ll come clean to my moments of nerdness.  Not only did Mother of SportsChump take me to see the original Star Wars back when it hit the theaters in 1977, I also collected Star Wars cards, had a Darth Vader poster and my very own light saber.  In fact, I still own three Star Wars shirts.

So call me goofy, you will.  But not as goofy as some of these Tweets.  I proudly present #StarWarsTaughtMe.



Rob Kelly‏ @zerocool1984a

@midnight #StarWarsTaughtMe That a soap opera can survive in space!


 Dammit Erin‏ @DammitErin

#StarWarsTaughtMe that even heroes have daddy issues. @midnight


 Collin Murr‏ @CollinMurr 

#StarWarsTaughtMe In a galaxy full of various creatures of all sizes and colors, the white humans are the real heroes. @midnight


Molotov Cocktail‏ @MollyCocktail

#StarWarsTaughtMe it’s not the size of the Saber, but how you swing it


Molly Ligon‏ @mollyligonn

#StarWarsTaughtMe that Darth Vader was all about that base, no rebels


Lester Marks‏ @Facetime09

The forest isn’t a good place to ride motorcycles #StarWarsTaughtMe


tio sucio‏ @TP_313

Important sentence structure is not. #StarWarsTaughtMe @midnight


Scott Rüegg‏ @scottruegg

#StarWarsTaughtMe to wait until after sex to tell her she’s my sister. @midnight


gerrence george‏ @gerrencegeorge 

#StarWarsTaughtMe That building a giant spherical death machine will never work out to my advantage.


Donald J. Trump‏ @reaIDonldJTrump

I need a Death Star! It’s going in the next budget appropriations bill! #StarWarsTaughtMe #trump @midnight


Kat Lapelosa  @Its_Katka

#StarWarsTaughtMe storm troopers and Ken dolls have the same penis


ronnie garcia‏ @brosemail

Aliens who talk backwards are not to be fucked with. #StarWarsTaughtMe


Simon Fabb‏ @SimonFabb 

#StarWarsTaughtMe Darth’s head to toe respiratory one-piece sure makes carrying my inhaler around a non issue


Micah V‏ @MicahV513

Some robots were born gay #StarWarsTaughtMe @midnight


Esser-Z‏ @EsserZed

#StarWarsTaughtMe Violence is an effective method for defeating fascism


Sinister Resistance‏ @BolshevikBS 

#StarWarsTaughtMe a mute, beeping robot can have more personality than Hayden Christensen.


ChrisHumpherys‏ @SportsChump

#StarWarsTaughtMe a good bar fight never gets old


Michael‏ @mlegions75

Quoting Yoda in the bedroom is a sure fire way of me not getting laid. #StarWarsTaughtMe @midnight


Michael‏ @mlegions75

That being collared is not as bad as it sounds. #StarWarsTaughtMe @midnight


(((David Fisher)))‏ @MrDavidFisher 

#StarWarsTaughtMe always trust the old guy in your neighborhood who lives alone. Go on a trip with him if he asks. @midnight


Anthony Motown G‏ @Redgameboy

Mafia bosses are fat and lazy. #StarWarsTaughtMe @midnight


Justin Staggs‏ @Staggfilms 

It’s okay to choke co-workers who disagree with you at meetings. #StarWarsTaughtMe @midnight


Robert Gray‏ @RGrayFiction

#StarWarsTaughtMe Family gatherings are painful no matter what galaxy you live in.


James Gardner‏ @imperialguy

Disney always wins. #StarWarsTaughtMe @midnight


Jakob Kolness‏ @JakobKolness

#StarWarsTaughtMe Life’s Tough, Get a Helmet

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6 Replies to “Twitter celebrates May the Fourth”

  1. Princess Leia ? I wonder what she’s thinking right about now ? Cheap CGI then and look how dated the original movies have become. Then again, Disney is now laughing all the way to the bank . In the next chapter of the franchise Stephen A Smith will play a direct descendant of Lando Calrissian .

    No truth to the rumors that Boston Red Sox fans weren’t mocking the Orioles’ Adam Jones as they directed racist taunts at the player. Black players on the Red Sox roster must have been laughing their @ss es off . Boston’s fans must be some of the dumbest morons on the face of the planet. Then again this is baseball is a sport still steeped in tradition and a whole lot of racism (still is) as part of its history. Funny how the league hierarchy and the Red Sox front office issue a statement, saying they do not condone such behavior , but this is not the first incident of its type to have taken place at Fenway Park. . LOL,LOL,LOL !!!!!!!

    Baseball much like the NBA , NFL and NHL , remains in denial when it comes to many social issues and it’s no surprise when you consider the make up of the upper echelons of the various hierarchies.

  2. Al…

    While back in the day, Major League Baseball may have led the charge against racial discrimination, you’re right. These days, it takes a back seat to both the NFL and NBA.

    How many black players are currently in the Majors? Well under a hundred.

    How do you explain that?

  3. Star Wars taught me that when 900 years old you are, look as good you will not…Hmmm?

  4. Keith Richards will outlive everyone on the planet.
    I think dude has formaldehyde running through his veins.

    If we started a death pool a decade ago and had Paul Walker, Micheal Jackson, Robin Williams, Prince, Carrie Fisher, Bill Paxton, Alan Rickman, Erin Moran, James Gandolfini, Philip Seymore Hoffman, Amy Winehouse and Heath Ledger.

    ….How many would have had Keith at #1?

  5. Bleed…

    Just watched ‘Crossfire Hurricane’ for the second time. It’s a Rolling Stones doc on Netflix where they interview all the band members currently while showing old footage. Well worth the watch.

    There came a point where the band must confront Richards’ routine heroine use, knowing that he could die at any point.

    Richards finally comes to that realization, that most everyone thought the guy was gonna die.

    “Not this Stone,” is what he says in the movie. He kicks the habit.

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