Freeze’s Big Ole Miss

After a brief birthday hiatus and neglecting to post anything on the website for a few days, one dedicated reader politely requested I jot down something about SEC media week.

I won’t lie.  I missed the whole damn thing.  A week full of whiskey, dinners and golfing got in the way, although probably not as much whiskey, dinner and golfing that occurred over SEC weekend.  Besides, without Steve Spurrier at the helm and Nick Saban no longer having to ass-chew Lane Kiffin, SEC media days are a sequel we have no business watching.  The event came and went like a feather in the wind, unless you consider a coach from one school claiming a coach from another school ran a dirty program nothing to see.  Isn’t that par for the SEC course?

That nothing to see lasted one week… until the “butt dial” heard ‘round the South.  If only Hugh Freeze’s cellphone hooker scandal had happened seven days sooner.  SEC Media Week would have garnered Super Bowl-like ratings.

So, by popular demand, I decided to throw down a little something tasteless.  Besides, webmaster Eddie Griffin, a huge Mississippi State Bulldog fan, would have pulled the site down if I “miss”ed the opportunity to rag on Ole Miss and their now former head coach.

And so it goes, another college football head coach stepping down amidst scandal.  The latest?  Oh, you haven’t heard?  Hugh Freeze, formerly of Ole Miss, used his cell phone to contact a call girl.  It was his school issued cell phone.  Since Ole Miss, a.k.a. the University of Mississippi, is a state school, that means taxpayer dollars funded the phone to get their head coach laid by someone other than his wife.  Side note: Hugh Freeze made $1.5 million last year in salary alone, more than enough to buy another cell phone.

One day we’ll stop holding these men to higher standards.

Of course, that’s baloney.  We should hold these men accountable.  They teach the young men of tomorrow the difference from right and wrong, just apparently not which cell phone to use when lining up strange.  More importantly, they teach them how to score touchdowns.

But they’re no role models.  I mean, look at Bobby Petrino.  The guy was caught cheating on his wife after wrecking his motorcycle with the woman he was sleeping with on the back.  This woman was also illegally hired to work in the department.  Petrino gave very possibly the most embarrassing tell-all press conference, this side of Tiger Woods, while wearing a neck brace.  His face was all bloodied from the accident, his reputation and ego probably more so.  They should have charged a cover for that press conference.  You couldn’t make that story up if you tried.  Seriously, if you do a Google search for Bobby Petrino, this is the first image that comes up.

On a day that OJ Simpson was almost set free, Hugh Freeze grabbed the headlines.  He nearly led Ole Miss to a national championship and made a football program that was an afterthought a national powerhouse.  He had his team ranked in the top five for the first time in fifty years.  He beat ‘Bama.  Twice.

Then he made that phone call.

Look, I’m not here to judge.  To each his own.  But I will say using state funded cell phones to call hookers when you have a wife and teenage daughters at home is not the smartest thing a man has ever done.  Welcome to the SEC!

In the grand landscape of college football scandals, this too shall pass.  It will fall somewhere between George O’Leary lying on his resume and Joe Paterno turning a blind eye to shower stalls at Penn State.

So, to honor the dishonorable Coach Freeze (who will coach again, don’t you worry), I hereby present the funniest (and most tasteless) Freeze Tweets from the post-SEC Week that was.


Scott Vann‏ @swvann

Breaking news: Hugh Freeze has just been named assistant men’s basketball coach at the University of Louisville.


TexasTsunami‏ @TexasTsunami

Shouldn’t we wait until we have all the facts before we judge Hugh Freeze?

And by “all the facts”, I mean “a photo of his whore.” #OleMiss


ChrisHumpherys‏ @SportsChump

I have yet to find any overly hysterical Tweets about the Hugh Freeze scandal.  I guess internet access in Mississippi is still spotty.


Marcus Maxximista‏ @ido4me_period

Hugh Freeze got Blind Sided.


Colton Pouncy‏ @CTPSports

Michael Oher is out here biting cab drivers. Hugh Freeze is dialing escort services with the company phone. I’m ready for “The Blind Side 2”


ChrisHumpherys‏ @SportsChump

If it came out that Nick Saban somehow had that escort service number programmed into Hugh Freeze’s phone… would anybody be surprised?


Big Daddy‏ @ShitBigPapaSays

Hugh Freeze now qualified to coach for the Dallas Cowboys.



Aaron Torres‏ @Aaron_Torres

Hugh Freeze busted for calling an escort service. If Rick Pitino taught us anything, its that you ALWAYS let the assistants make those calls


Noah Richardson‏ @Nrichardson32

Hugh Freeze resigns and OJ gets out of jail in one day. Coincidence? I think we have ourself a coach.


Jonny Loquasto‏ @JQuasto

Hugh Freeze was just contacting that escort service so he could lecture them on how to live virtuously


Larry D‏ @LarryD10467

His wife said he is not going to get any til Hugh Freeze’s over

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10 Replies to “Freeze’s Big Ole Miss”

  1. Hugh Freeze is just a simple-minded @sshole

    How is that Rick PItino can fu#k one of his assistant coaches’ wives , lies lie about it , claims he was being blackmailed, then gets away with it ? Then the school (University of Louisville) gets embroiled in the hiring of hookers to lure potential recruits to sign with the program . Though the program is penalized by the NCAA , Pitino claims the punishment is way too harsh . Is it me , but there’s way too much bull$hit and hypocrisy within College Sports as well as with the NCAA ?

  2. Yea, Al, what the hell is going on in the coaching ranks these days?

    I can’t say I recall a time where so many coaches have run rampant, breaking all the rules and doing whatever the hell it is they want to do.

    I mean if it weren’t for Houston Nutt, would any of this have been uncovered?

  3. Chris

    It’s getting beyond ridiculous not just with the coaches , but also some of these athletes. In Spain, Brazilian soccer player, Neymar has now pis$ed of the fans and team owners (Barcelona) with his latest antics. Now the fans are baying for his blood and the player himself , says he now wants out because the club hasn’t come to his support. How can they come to his support when he verbally abuses a ref, lies to the manager and owner as to why he was away from the club without permission ?

    Is anyone surprised by Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor now resorting the use of race (racial epithets) to hype up their upcoming fight ?

    On brighter side it’s been fun reading about entertainers R Kelly , accused of enslaving and holding females against their will for sex . We also have Usher (Usher Raymond) having contracted herpes. WTF !!!!! LOL,LOL,LOL ,LOL !!!!!

  4. Oh, the pressures of SEC football. Even the Mannings couldn’t help him outta this mess. What was his initial excuse? Dialed the wrong number? Over a a dozen times? Yeah that pressure is intense. Dumb shit cost himself 4 mill in this years salary. Maybe he can endorse the Chicken Ranch brothel here in Pahrump, NV.

  5. Thanks for the mention SC. All this would have been covered up if not for the coming NCAA sanctions and Nutt’s lawsuit bringing it to the public. Welcome to big boy football. Wonder when Archie and Eli will comment?

    BTW, as a 14 yo, while playing in rec league basketball in New Orleans,, we had a fundraiser in our gym with Archie as the draw. While it was exciting to see and hear him speak every kid wanted his autograph. He was rude as hell in turning us all down. I lost my respect for him at that point and still hold it against him to this day.

  6. Bets…

    I’ve been caught in some bad lies before but that pizza delivery one was priceless.

    I’m guessing his PR people are telling him to lay low for a while until this all blows over.

    That’s probably good advice.

  7. Moose…

    It’s funny how those meetings early in life shape us for the rest of it.

    I lived in Providence for a short while as a kid but it was when the Red Sox were in their heyday, the late 70s.

    Carl Yastrzemski signed a baseball for me. From then on, he was my favorite baseball player for life.

  8. Yay was a hero of mine as well. I”be told this story before but my 8 yr old kid at a travel ball game that Tom Glavine attended where he sat there and signed every kids ball AND talked to them when he was the Braxes stud impressed me so much. Always be humble and kind. It pays off.

  9. Moose..

    I think that’s a big way Major League Baseball, specifically, and professional athletics, in general, can reach back out to the fans.

    Major League Baseball needs it for sure.

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