Month: September 2017

Three things that pissed me off about the NFL last weekend (and no, the kneeling wasn’t one of them)

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I’m going to channel my inner commander-in-chief for a moment and rant about all things wrong with the NFL.  (Currently adjusting combover, spraying on fake orange tan).  Okay, I’m ready. One of my beefs has to do with coaching (or Continue reading Three things that pissed me off about the NFL last weekend (and no, the kneeling wasn’t one of them)→

Trump tells Curry “No Soup for You!”

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Eight and a half years ago, our former president, a black man, rolled up his sleeves and filled out his March Madness brackets on ESPN for all to see.  Many were taken aback, wondering a) who the hell cares whether Continue reading Trump tells Curry “No Soup for You!”→

Drugs, lies and Brian Cushing’s everlasting erection

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“Honesty is such a lonely word.” –          Billy Joel   I did not have sexual relations with that woman.  I’ve never bet on baseball.  I cannot tell a lie, I did chop down that cherry tree. Blatant mistruths have been Continue reading Drugs, lies and Brian Cushing’s everlasting erection→

Why 21 doesn’t matter

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The Cleveland Indians have won 21 straight baseball games.  That’s a new Major League record, which is pretty impressive considering the sport, for better or for worse, has been around since anyone reading this website has been alive. That’s right, Continue reading Why 21 doesn’t matter→

Is Michael Vick as a Fox Sports Analyst Worth Your Time?

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The media, Fox sports in specific, seem to be willing to take unwarranted gambles when it comes to hiring NFL analysts. Of all people, Fox sports just announced it will be hiring Michael Vick. In my opinion hiring O.J. Simpson Continue reading Is Michael Vick as a Fox Sports Analyst Worth Your Time?→

Why Mother Nature will (or at least should) reintroduce talks of an 18-game NFL season

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This is how my week has gone so far.  I guess I shouldn’t complain but I’m going to anyway. Sunday night, with Texas A&M holding a seemingly insurmountable, 34-point lead with four minutes left to play in the third quarter, Continue reading Why Mother Nature will (or at least should) reintroduce talks of an 18-game NFL season→

A bothersome tennis fan in king football’s court: A tale of misplaced priorities and tested patience

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Let’s speak hypothetically for a moment. Let’s pretend this event that’s about to unfold didn’t actually happen.  I mean, because it didn’t.  It couldn’t possibly have. Let’s pretend for one second that on college football’s opening Saturday that a theoretical Continue reading A bothersome tennis fan in king football’s court: A tale of misplaced priorities and tested patience→

Chumpservations, Vol. 38: Frogs, floods and circus freaks

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Sports fans, please forgive me.  It’s been nearly a year since my last Chumpservations.  So, without further ado, let’s get this reunion started, shall we? Making sense of the unicycle I was driving home from the supermarket the other evening Continue reading Chumpservations, Vol. 38: Frogs, floods and circus freaks→