“If you have hate in your heart, let it out.”
– Dave Chappelle as Clayton Bigsby, Chappelle’s Show, 2003
Let’s talk about hate for a second.
Oh? You don’t want to because you’re all about the love? Well, think again because I am about to make hating worth your while.
There’s plenty of hate in the air these days. Not so much at SportsChump Manor, however, which, as you already know, is all about the love.
I don’t hate too much of anything. I just don’t find it worth the energy. That being said, I hate liver, I abhor confrontation, I’m definitely not a fan of waking up early… and I most assuredly, with a fuel-fired passion, hate the New York Yankees and all things pinstriped, which is ironic considering I’m a native New Yorker.
Odd things happen when you grow up a sports fan. You grow up obsessed with some things and absolutely despising others. The level of hatred you hold for a team generally coincides with how often that team has beaten yours.
Having attended the University of Florida, naturally I hate our dreaded, in-state rivals, the Florida State Seminoles. It’s a special kind of hatred that exists year-round but blossoms into a healthy rage every Thanksgiving weekend when that game is played. Having grown up a Red Sox fan, my dislike for the Yankees has lasted forty years. Naturally I wasn’t around when Harry Frazee signed off on the Babe Ruth deal but in 1978, Bucky Dent taught me everything I need to know about heartbreak. And there was literally nothing, at all, to like about Reggie Jackson. Nothing. That fucker.
Every sports fan holds a special place in their gut for the teams they hate the most.
I’m an adult now. My hatred for the Yankees has subsided over the years as I have “matured,” however, as I opened the envelope from my beloved book supplier, the grand prize for this contest about hate, well, I just felt dirty unveiling it. Although beautifully bound, the book had no place in my home.
That’s where you come in. I am holding a contest about hate… and I’m giving away this book as a grand prize.
Your mission should you choose to accept it is to elaborate in the comments section below upon the team you hate the most and why. You can make your answer as long or as short as you like as long as you get your point across. The comment that most eloquently portrays the level of pure contempt you feel for the particular team will receive this beautiful, brand new tribute to the New York Yankees: Harvey Frommer’s The Ultimate Yankee Book.
Blech!
Deadline for all entries: November 11, 2017
Everyone loves to hate the Yankees . Now look at the upheaval taking place , Joe Girardi’s contract won’t be renewed and Gary Denbo leave the front office to become President , Head of Player Development & Scouting with the Miami Marlins , where Derek Jeter is a co-owner of the franchise along with Bruce Sherman and Michael
Jordan. Nothing else needs to be said.
It’s not just hatred out there but also a great deal of hypocrisy as well. Poor ol’ Jerry Jones , I guess his plantation will have slaves all by the name of Toby ?
Buffalo Bills place kicker Scott(WideRight) Norwood. Giants plus the points and Buffalo moneyline. Still haunts me.
Jackie Smith Dallas tight end. Dropped gimme Staubach TD pass in SBowl13 that made my mom think I lost my mind cursing(not bad stuff). Got middled.
Current. Ukrainian tennis pro Dolgopolov for his ‘alleged’ tennis tankings. I use the the work alleged loosely.
Short answer: Georgia Bulldogs
Elaboration: I’m an Alabama alum and have lived north of Atlanta for 20 years now. I had both my older kids apply to Georgia and they were accepted. Visited the campus with them – they both turned it down. Hallelujah, I raised them right. The arrogance of GA fans who haven’t won a NC since 1980 is unbelievable. Their passion is admirable but misplaced although Kirby Smart may change that soon. My 16 yo wears his Bama gear all the time just to rub it in on his buds. We don’t boast verbally but damn it gets old listening to these folks brag about their team.
Girardi was hosed in typical Yankees fashion. The fact that he made it ten years in that town is remarkable on his part.
The Los Angeles Dodgers – the first time I ever got arrested was because I was shooting bottle rockets into their dugout. I almost nailed Steve Garvey in the head.
Luckily those juvenile records are sealed.
TTUN!
Hatred so deep we in Ohio don’t even use the letter (M)
I hate big tough guys that get their widdow feewings hurt by words then, kneel down like gay porn stars.
Keep ’em comin’, gang.
This competition is still wiiiiiide open.
The bane of my NASCAR fandom is the #48 team of Jimmie Johnson(driver) and Chad Knaus(crew chief). For those not familiar with NASCAR, Jimmie and Chad are the NASCAR equivalents of Tom Brady and Bill Belichik. Together, Jimmie and Chad have won seven NASCAR Cup championships, with the first five coming consecutively. There is no doubt amongst those in the know that Jimmie will, sooner rather than later, hold the record for winning the most championships(right now, he’s tied for the lead with NASCAR legends Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt Sr).
Watching a NASCAR race, there is nothing more pleasing than seeing the word OUT by Jimmie’s name as the running order scrolls by. The hate for Jimmie and Chad is so strong that during the 2011 NASCAR season, Katie(the Beagle) offered to lift the Beagle Voodoo curse she had placed on driver Carl Edwards if Carl took Jimmie out of the Championship hunt. In 2012, the Beagle put a voodoo curse on the #48 team that remains in effect to this day.(If I could post pictures, there would be a picture of Katie chewing on her Jimmie Johnson voodoo bear inserted here).
Why do I hate them? First and foremost, they win. They win in dominating fashion. They win when they’re having a mediocre day. Sometimes, they win in spite of themselves. How do they do it? A lot of NASCAR fans will tell you they cheat, and while it’s true that the #48 team has had its fair share of fines, penalties, and suspensions for rules infractions, it’s more than that. The NASCAR rule book is full of grey areas, and Chad Knaus is the master of exploiting those grey areas. Despite NASCAR’s attempts to eliminate those grey areas, Chad manages to find more. He even finds grey areas within the grey areas.
Jimmie is also hated because he is too “vanilla” for NASCAR. NASCAR is a sport with its origins among Southern bootleggers. Jimmie just doesn’t have the outlaw personality. He’s been involved in several post race incidents, but he seldom reacts with the helmet throwing, shoving, and outright fisticuffs that other drivers have demonstrated.
Unlike other “team” sports(football, baseball, etc.), the day will come that Jimmie will retire from NASCAR, and I will be forced to find a new driver to loathe. Until then– ABJ!!!! (anybody but Jimmie)
Al…
I don’t know that everyone out there loves to hate the Yankees, even though they are so delectably hateable. I mean, it’s probably the biggest fan base in baseball.
I’m not sure I get the Girardi firing but then again this franchise has made some baffling decisions since the passing of King George. Let’s see what they do from here.
Dubs…
Another valiant effort gone wrong to mess up Garvey’s perfect head of hair. Oh well, at least it was worth the try.
And thanks to the Houston Astros, they have another off-season of misery forthcoming.
Bets….
My buddy tells a similar story.
They had the Blazers in that series … Til Kobe and Shaq realized they were Kobe and Shaq.
As you very well know, the rest is history.
Moose…
This should be a good (or bad) December for you and your boy as Georgia and ‘Bama appear headed for a damn nasty SEC Championship game.
Good one, Daybreak.
Not sure too many rivalries can top the hatred that exists between Ohio State and um, well, you know.
Bleed…
News came out today that Papa John’s is pulling their ads from the NFL, which I find ironic considering they use NFL guys in their ads.
First of all, none of us will miss those lame commercials but I can’t help but wonder…. will their sales go up or down as a result.
The last time I ate Papa John’s I took two knees while I was barfing it up.
I don’t eat Papa John’s out of principle.
The principle that I don’t like spending the rest of my day on the toilet.
I hereby declare SpeedBeagle the winner of yet another SportsChump contest.
While Dubsy and Daybreak came in a close second, with Dubs for almost blinding Steve Garvey and Daybreak refusing to mention that other school, anyone that breaks out a voodoo doll to curse an athlete they hate is probably taking things a little too far.
Beags, you know the routine. Send me your particulars via email and I’ll get the grand prize out to ya’ for the holidays.
Thanks all for participating.