Mike Tyson is opening a marijuana farm.
This news shouldn’t surprise anyone. In fact, at this point in his life, I don’t think Mike Tyson can do anything that would surprise us anymore. The guy has gone from being heavyweight champion of the world to biting the ear off another man, twice, in front of millions of people to tattooing his face to having his own, one-man Broadway show.
He’s Mike Tyson.
Not that investing in marijuana isn’t a solid choice these days. I have one friend who gave up everything he owned, quit his former job within which he was substantially vested, and headed west, young man, to take a stab at becoming a marijuana mogul. From what I can see on social media, he’s doing quite well for himself.
My friend, however, doesn’t have the clout, or the upper cut, of the former heavyweight champ.
I can’t help but root for Mike. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for the man. He was the greatest fighter of my generation, that was until he got one-two’d by Robin Givens and Buster Douglas. Back in the day, however, watching Iron Mike fight was as good as it got. And you better have gotten there early because the fight you paid fifty dollars for might have been over in fifty seconds.
So, kudos to Mike Tyson and his future farming endeavors. I wish him nothing but the best.
Now, on to our contest. Apparently, the champ is going to call his farm Tyson Ranch where he will “create high quality strains of THC.” But Tyson Ranch, while charming, doesn’t necessarily make me want to run out there and buy weed, unless of course, the champ himself is sitting on a throne, wearing a crown and handing out doobies, which you have to admit would be kind of cool. That is why I’m holding a contest in the former champ’s honor.
The reader who can best come up with what should Mike Tyson should rename his latest investment will receive not only honorable mention in the SportsChump Caption Contest Hall of Fame but also a pigeon, a right cross, a lisp, some second-hand smoke and a marijuana cigarette*.
*Marijuana not included
I’m kicking this off when a surefire-to-hit entry.
I think Mike should team up with L L Cool J and rename the farm “Marijuana said Knock You Out.”
Pigeons coupe growhouse
Guess what, good for Mike Tyson. At least he won’t be able to blow all of the cash, because the folks that love smoking weed, will continue to come back! My only question is, how much did he invest? Good post Chris!
Wow! Interesting subject matter to write about PEP! Not mad at ya, but i guess even sports bloggers need a a break from say the all SEC national championship… but I digress. My apology. So, back in the day, one of the names for Marijuana was “Mary Jane”. don’t ask why, it just was, so here are a couple of options for your consideration: Mary Jane’s Place, (similar to the name I’d have if owned anything…the G Spot); or MTM, (similar to MGM) for Mike Tyson Medicinals; and last but certainly not least…A Higher Plane Ranch! Ta Daaa. I’ll let you know where to ship my winnings, or perhaps you can send it by pigeon
Iron Mike’s Joint
Hits Like a Mule Kick
Can you EAR me now?
He he, Aaron…
This is exactly why Iron Mike needs my readers on his team.
It was probably some backers that used his name for publicity but still… I hear it’s a growth industry.
I mean, not that I’d know or anything.
And I’ll see if I can knock something out about the national championship game. I mean, since you requested.
You absolutely fucking SLAY me.
I’m gonna submit some of those to the Tyson Ranch on your behalf.
Maybe they’ll fly us out for a “business meeting.”
As Mike Tyson doesn’t go into partnership with Don King I’m fine with the deal . #RobynGivensBlowsMike
Speaking of Don King, Al, that fucker is 86 and still hanging tough.
I can’t help but wonder how he’ll be remembered.
THE BADDEST MAN ON THE PLANTnet FARM
Don King’s legacy , tax evasion (escaped the judicial system because a jury didn’t believe there was enough evidence), second degree murder and having conned fighters out of at least $100 million. He and Bob Arum have brought the sport of boxing to its knees and if you believe that Mayweather Promotions or Golden Boy Promotions Inc are any better then you’re sadly mistaken.
So your thoughts on UCF Golden Knights fans who believe they should be anointed champions of College Football based on the fact they beat Auburn , who themselves beat both championship finalists , Alabama and Georgia ? In this case , it’s not a matter of having beaten one of the best , but the fact the Golden Knights didn’t play anyone of note on their regular season schedule. Until their idiot fans begin to realize that fact they should simply shut the hell up.
Pretty sure no one is going up to the champ and telling him his weed’s no good.
UCF had USF on their schedule and beat ’em. They were ranked for most of the season.
I have a way to resolve all this.
Make it an eight-team playoff and let’s be done with it.
For forever and a day, UCF will be able to say they beat the team that beat both teams that are playing for a national championship.
Raging Pull reminds me of our Gainesville days, brother.
As I recall.
The Bong Hits Robin Givens
The mere name of her gives me chills, Dubs.