Stephen Curry is an amazing basketball player. He’s apparently a pretty good golfer as well. He just wasn’t the day he put a tee shot through somebody’s living room window.
That’s right, even the two-time NBA MVP can have a bad day on the links.
I don’t remember all that many of my bad golf shots. I suppose I subconsciously try to put them out of my memory. I do remember one golfing partner hitting me in the calf once with one of his tee shots. That kinda hurt but it also taught me to always stand behind someone as they’re teeing off.
I’ve never knowingly damaged anyone or anything on a golf course. I can assure you it’s not for lack of trying. I once hit a tee shot off the wooden marker on the tee box in front of me. My ball careened back meaning my tee shot actually landed behind me, a skill I highly recommend not picking up. Fortunately, I didn’t leave anyone bruised or bleeding.
Ages ago, another one of my friends sliced a ball so badly that not only did it go into someone’s yard, which is the norm when you’re playing with a bunch of hackers, but it broke through someone’s pool screen. The resident just happened to be there that afternoon and ran onto the course demanding reparations. To my recollection, they exchanged information but I can’t recall who paid whom for what. These are the pros and cons of living on a golf course.
Then there was the time my old college roommate SuperCarrier hooked a ball over a lake and broke a seagull’s wing. Insert tasteless birdie joke here.
Years ago, I remember hearing a story of how an aging Sam Snead, one of the greatest golfers to ever live, put a drive into a spectator’s ear. And of course, there was that time that Judge Smails missed a putt and threw his trusty Billy Baroo into the clubhouse. I guess his caddy should have checked those grips.
These things happen. As someone who to this day shanks drives, approaches, chips, sand shots and sometimes even putts, trust me when I tell you, golf can be a frustrating game.
Which is why I’m hosting a contest in its honor.
In a recent charity golf event, I was lucky enough to win a practice putting green. It was a raffle prize, not a suggestion, although judging by my putting lately, I’m not so sure.
I’m willing to give this prize away to one lucky winner.
Here’s all it takes.
In the comments section below, I want to hear about your worst golf shot ever. Be as descriptive as possible. What was the shot, where did it take place and who did you nearly decapitate? In case of a tie because I know not all of you can be Tiger Woods, leave your projected winner for the upcoming Masters.
The most eloquently told story takes home the grand prize and perhaps even a round with the Chump if you happen to be passing by a Sunshine State near you.
I’ll do you one better…I’m going to regale you with a tale of the best worst shot ever.
Picture it…a 115-yard par-3; Tom O’Leary Golf Course, Bismarck, ND. The tee is on a hill, as is the green, with a deep ravine containing a creek in between the two. In terms of elevation, the green is about 25 feet higher than the tee.
So, I’m all about a nice, easy 9-iron. Somewhere between the top of my backswing and contact, a bee almost flies up my nose, and the result of the resulting flinch is I blade the the holy living be-jeez-fuck out of Slazenger. That things leaves the tee like a rifle shot. A split-second later, it slams into the opposing hillside at “Space Shuttle Re-Entry” speed.
The morning dew has softened the ground somewhat, and even though that ball hit the first cut, it still ricocheted at least 75 feet almost straight up. It came down almost nearly as straight, and landed with a resounding thud about two feet from the cup. I tapped it for an easy bird.
In the immortal words of Hannibal Smith…I love it when a plan comes together.
Oh, and my Masters winner is Sister Jean from Loyola-Chicago.
Solid first entry, Dub. Way to set the tone.
So when we do finally end up golfing together, I’ll expect you to show up in full bee-keeper regalia.
Don’t worry. I’ll explain your get up to the starter.
A round of golf for me would require Mr. Peabody setting the Wayback Machine back to a point when I still had knees.
Too many bad ones to count.
No room left in the mental Rol-a-dex for that shit.
…But I remember both holes in one.
Dubs…
Golf carts, brother.
I’ll grant you a Casey Martin exception.
Bleed…
I’m heading out to the links in about an hour.
Wish me luck for a good hole-in-one story.
To quote Judge Smails:
“Well…We’re waiting!”
I thought I’d get some more stories out of this, Dubs.
I’m gonna post on social media one more time before the too-nament to see if everyone’s still too shy to tell an embarrassing story.
Hep Chump,
I’d leave a story, but really can’t think of any that would top what’s already been posted 🙂 I’m still hacking it around with a 7 index these days. Admittedly I don’t hit it the way I did 15 years ago, but still manage to keep it in the fairway.
As for the Masters, Tiger is a contender despite the naysayers, but the way Bubba Watson is playing..I like his chances to become a 2timer.
Mony…
I can’t believe everyone is going to let Dubsy walk away with this thing.
Oh well, I guess he can use the putting practice.
Steph is having a bad month and now his golf experiences are being discussed. His missing the past few games as well as the first round of the NBA Playoffs might hinder the chances of the Golden State Warriors this season .
It would appear the odds-makers in Vegas are riding on the Tiger bandwagon believing the former world number one is back to form and winning ways. It will be interesting to see how he does in the first round to The Masters beginning today at Augusta GC, Augusta, Georgia .
I also have a “bad shot turned good”. I had about a 100 yard approach shot into the 9th green from what appeared to be a pretty bad lie in the rough. So I tried to give it a little something extra. I caught a flier, and hooked it hard into the clubhouse about 40 yards behind the green. It struck the brick wall of the building and bounced back to the green, stopping 2 inches from the cup for an easy tap in birdie. I could have killed somebody.
Lots of wagering on these Masters in Vegas, Al. And a helluva lot on Tiger which means numbers are skewed to other players returning a nice payout if you’re bold enough.
And yea, key NBA injuries are through the roof. Meanwhile, old faithful LeBron James keeps plugging along.
Dr. Bill..
Reminds me of that old Jordan-Bird McDonald’s commercial.
Off the bleachers, side of the wall, top of the backboard, nothing but net.
You sent a reminder today so I’m guessing I’m still good to submit… well I have two stories that come to mind….
1) Really long par 3, 200 yards or so a few years back with buddies and I had a long iron into the wind and crushed it… one of the best shots I’d hit that day, but my buddies were on their way to look for one ball that went into a set of trees. My iron coming in landed a good four feet from the hole… on the way to the green, a hawk flew in and no joke picked up my ball and started flying away with it… at the time they didn’t see it happen and they look over see me flapping my hands as I get closer to the green to distract it… it dropped the ball an extra 20 to 30 feet away from the pin. After all that, I still made the putt.
2) Buddy Tom (you’d have seen him post on TWHS) is not a golfer, but would play with us for fun. Blind tee shot and we told him where to aim but he ended up hitting elsewhere, then had no approach shot to the green because of where he went… so I was directly straight across the fairway but nowhere where he could get me…. he hit a skull that was a borderline shank that came as a line drive right at my face… I had my golf bag and double straps on it… put my hand up to block my face and the ball smacked off my arm, near my elbow… the force of it all knocked me onto my back and my bag, flipping up over the top of it, with my feet up in the air and kicking like a roach that was on its last leg(s). Not my finest moment and not anything that I’ve ever lived down since. Well, neither of us really, considering he nearly killed me.