A Wolf in Sleek Clothing: Your first ever FitzMagic Caption Contest!

Oh, how I love a good caption contest so let’s have another one, shall we?

Tampa is giddy over their new starting quarterback… and I’m not referring to the guy they drafted number one.

After watching the bearded back-up Ryan Fitzpatrick get off to a start no one could have predicted, there’s not a fan in the Tampa Bay area who hasn’t pondered whether the crab-eating, uber-fondling, interception-throwing Jameis Winston will start once he returns from suspension… and why wouldn’t they? All his replacement has done in Winston’s absence is beat both the Saints and the defending Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles in back-to-back weeks by chucking the ball around the yard with zen-like accuracy.

How’s this for a statistic?  Fitzpatrick became the first quarterback EVER to start a season throwing 4 touchdowns and 400 yards in each of his first two games. His performance in Week One earned him NFC Offensive Player of the Week Honors. His Week Two performance begs the question could he do it again. After an amazing two games, FitzMagic leads the league in both yards and passing efficiency. Not bad for a Harvard grad, pretty fly for a white guy.

It looks like his success got the best of him, however, for in his post-game press conference, FitzMagic dressed the part, going full Connor McGregor behind the podium. Nothing says Russian mob boss like gold chains, a hairy chest and half-unzipped sweat jacket. Meet the new Fitz, definitely not the same as the old one.

It turns out he borrowed the outfit from his favorite target DeSean Jackson who, thanks to FitzMagic, leads the league in receiving yards. Set the Bucs clubhouse camaraderie to high. It’s easy to have a few chuckles when you’re 2-0 and setting NFL records. It’s this kind of jocularity (jock-hilarity?) that leads to winning ball clubs. Here’s his presser in case you missed it.

And for the contest, the person who can best caption Fitz’s photo will receive one gold (colored) dookie chain (courtesy of the Party Store), a Run-DMC mixtape (brought to you by your own Spotify – iTunes subscription) and my own personal second place vote for NFC Offensive Player of the Week (not valid at theaters near you).

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13 Replies to “A Wolf in Sleek Clothing: Your first ever FitzMagic Caption Contest!”

  1. Ryan Fitzpatrick is going to make it harder for Dirk Koetter to reinstate Jameis Winston back into the starting quarterback role , given the play of the team on offense as well as the leadership and play seen from Fitzpatrick. It would come as a great surprise Koetter reinstates Winston in week four .

  2. Fook the Bills, fook the Jets, fook Floydis Winstweather Jr the crab thief, fook the fookin world….I’m Rynor McPatrick and I don’t give a fook

  3. PJD says – qb controversy reminds me of 1970s gators when the coach couldn’t decide whether to use Gaffney or Fisher….so he platooned both and it turned into a disaster!

    I hope Bucs coach stays with Fitz and lets the Seminole sit bench for awhile until there is an injury, poor play or another compelling reason to go back to JW.

    If JW balks, trade hime!

  4. PJD…

    Koetter is not one to make rash decisions and as much as the organization still likes Jameis and have his back, they probably know better than to upset the applecart.

    We have two more games to play AND a bye week before they pull the trigger on anything. Heck, the Bucs might lose the next two games and the point will be moot.

    But the way they’re playing…

  5. My caption for the picture:
    Winning Games
    When you can afford your crab legs and don’t have to use Uber.

  6. Florida teams 6-0. Nice and avoided Florence. I can relate this from LV bookmakers………..the Bucs saved their asses in both games. The big relief came by beating Brees in NoLa.

  7. Voted most likely to sing “D#*k in a Box” for karaoke night at the James Joyce Irish Pub

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