Twitter goes fishing while Dolphins go tanking

It’s never nice to poke fun at someone else’s misery… unless, of course, it’s the Miami Dolphins. In that case, by statute FMIA1972 of the SportsChump bylaws, such behavior is deemed perfectly acceptable and quite often readily encouraged.

Lounging NFL ticket-less this past Sunday, I sat on my sofa to find only two games being televised: Rams at Panthers and Ravens at Dolphins. Considering I didn’t have a vested stake in either game, I flipped between the two, eventually opting for Rams-Panthers thinking it would be a more competitive game.

I was right. It was. The Dolphins ended up losing in a blowout of historical proportions. The 59-10 loss to Baltimore was the biggest home loss in franchise history. And it’s only Week One.

Right out of the gate, the Dolphins did little to ensure their fans they weren’t tanking this season. Even though the game was out of hand from the start, once the Panthers game became a relative snooze-fest, I soon found myself turning back to Baltimore-Miami as if it were an accident from which I couldn’t turn away.

The Dolphins got embarrassed. And afterwards they got deloused on Twitter. Here are some of the more entertaining Tweets from the Sunday that was. Oh… and don’t worry, Dolphins fans. Only 16 more weeks to go.


Justis Mosqueda@JuMosq

“We got the look we wanted. There were 11 Dolphins on the field.”


Jamison Hensley@jamisonhensley

Lamar Jackson had six TD passes in seven starts last season. Jackson now has four TD throws in one half against Dolphins in season opener.



Updated state of Florida Football Power Rankings

  1. Jacksonville Jaguars
  2. Tampa Bay Bucs
  3. University of Florida
  4. UCF
  5. University of Miami…
  1. Full Sail University
  2. Florida State University…
  1. Florida School for the Deaf and Blind
  2. Miami Dolphins


Dan Le Batard Show@LeBatardShow

Last we saw him play, Lamar Jackson went two full televised hours without a completion. Against the Dolphins, he has now gone one full televised hour without an incompletion.


Mike Preston@MikePrestonSun

Did the Dolphins practice this week?


Eric Rosenthal@ericsports

The Dolphins lost 59-10 to the Ravens

Next week they face Tom Brady and the Patriots with new addition Antonio Brown

Oh dear god


ryan wilson@ryanwilsonCBS

Brian Flores should threaten to punch the GM, punt a football into the stands, dare the Dolphins to fire him on Instagram and return to the Patriots’ coaching staff six hours later.


Stephen Amell@StephenAmell

Is this like one of those college games where the Ravens pay the Dolphins like $2.5M to physically assault them on national television?


Pete Blackburn@PeteBlackburn

If the Dolphins made Hootie cry in 1994 I don’t even want to know how he’s feeling right now


Rev. Eric Dunn@ericvdunn

Dolphins on the clock


Captain Schlasser: Leader of Men@UrinatingTree

The National Weather Service should make a retraction. Hurricane Dorian was not the real threat to Miami. It is the Dolphins.

This is Category Five destruction.



3 years ago, a #MiamiDolphins loss like this would’ve ruined my week. Since I stopped giving a shi*t, I am FREE. Sundays and Mondays are FREE. Win or lose.

This season, take that first step toward peace. It’s like deciding to get out of an abusive marriage once and for all.


Baltimore George @BazookaBoh

#1 selling Jersey for @MiamiDolphins fans this year.




I’m still laughing about Dolphins fans making the #TankforTua hashtag and then completely freaking out when the team is actually tanking


Billy Corben@BillyCorben

The @MiamiDolphins are in a rebuilding century.


And finally, this came from ESPN, a memo for any fantasy football player who even thought about starting the Dolphins defense in Week Two against the Patriots…

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6 Replies to “Twitter goes fishing while Dolphins go tanking”

  1. You wrote that updated Florida Power Rankings AFTER hearing that Jim Leavitt joined FSU’s coaching staff?

  2. Speaking of tuna, Dubs, not even Bill Parcells could get them out of this mess.

    Unless they let him shop for the groceries.

    Is Brian Flores this year’s sacrificial lamb?

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