Quarterbacks, man

It’s not even football season yet and all I hear about is quarterbacks.  America’s obsession with the most high-profile position in sports has reached disturbing heights, some might say for good reason.

Maybe that’s because we all miss football season so.  The NHL and NBA playoffs are upon us yet here I am counting down the days until our annual, fantasy football draft/whiskey-drinking extravaganza.

Not a single a pass has been thrown and quarterbacks are still grabbing all the headlines.  From Aaron Rodgers to Jordan Love and back again, here’s a list of the names you’ve undoubtedly heard about even if you’re trying not to.

Since I’ve already mentioned his name, let’s start with last year’s MVP, potential future Jeopardy host and guy who is most certainly not buying Jordan Love any Christmas presents this year: Aaron Rodgers.  Who would have ever thought that after Draft Night, the only NFL team with a question mark at the quarterback position would be the Green Bay Packers?

Aaron Rodgers is, currently, the starting quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, we think.  All this could change at a moment’s notice as, depending upon what side of the bed he wakes up on, he either still wants to play for the Packers or would rather be traded to a team where he’d feel more appreciated.  No NFL MVP has ever left his team the following season which makes the entire, rather tenuous situation inconceivable… until you consider it revolves around Aaron Rodgers. 

His name has been linked to numerous, other NFL gigs except that his salary carries a lot of weight, making his options limited.  Despite the fact that he won last year’s MVP, he’s also 37 years old.  While you might retort that last year’s Super Bowl winning quarterback is six years older than that, I’d counter that a) there’s only one Tom Brady and b) Rodgers’ 37 is substantially older than Brady’s 43 based on their styles of play.

Either way, an already competitive NFL team would be foolish not to push their chips into the middle of the table if they felt landing Rodgers could get them to a Super Bowl, as long as the ever-sensitive Rodgers is on board which, as we stated earlier, depends on what side of the bed he wakes up on that particular morning.

Another one of America’s darlings, who plays the same position, or at least did years ago, is trying out for tight end.  His name is Tim Tebow.  Like Brady and Rodgers, he’s no spring chicken either.  (Note: he’s 34.)

Want to know how strong Tebow’s cult of personality is?  The guy hasn’t played a down of NFL football in nine years and news of him trying out for his former coach sent the talking heads at ESPN for a whirl.  Nothing like mentioning Tim Tebow’s name to pump some life into a slow news day.    

Seriously, if Tebow catches a single pass as tight end for the Jacksonville Jaguars and doesn’t wake up to cartoon birdies flying around his head, I will buy everyone here a beverage of their choosing.

Speaking of knocked out and jobless, Deshaun Watson went from being the hottest free agent quarterback of the summer to potentially being out of a job some twenty-odd personal massages later.  Talk about an unhappy ending.

Watson was once one of the top young prospects in the league.  After countless massage therapists alleged that he inappropriately accosted them, Watson has descended into quarterback non grata in one cruel summer.

I’m not sure what happened in those private rooms or if he’ll ever throw a pass again (of course, he will) but he sure as massage oil might have cost himself a nine-figure contract.

Speaking of young quarterbacks, those that actually have jobs, five signal-callers were taken in the first round of this year’s draft.  Clemson’s Trevor “Sunshine” Lawrence became Urban Meyer’s second favorite quarterback ever as he was drafted by Jacksonville.  He will not be competing with Tim Tebow for the starting position, at least we don’t think so.  BYU’s Zach Wilson was drafted second overall by the New York Jets and will undoubtedly fall short of Joe Namath’s legacy… just give it time.  North Dakota State’s Trey Lance was drafted third overall by the San Francisco 49ers who have had two different quarterbacks take them to two different Super Bowls in the past nine years.  Perhaps the third time will be a charm.  Alabama’s Mac Jones and Ohio State’s Justin Fields were drafted by New England and Chicago respectively and will fight for those starting positions against Cam Newton and Andy Dalton.

Here’s an interesting prop bet for you.  See if you can find whether or not a quarterback will win NFL rookie of the year.  If you can find a plus number on any other position player, I’d take it and run.

Drew Brees has retired leaving a question mark in New Orleans.  Saints’ fans are inexplicably looking forward to Jameis Winston replacing him.  That optimism should last until halftime of Week One’s opener.  The early off-season rumors regarding Russell Wilson leaving Seattle have silenced as have the concerns about Big Ben bolting from Pittsburgh.  Jalen Hurts will be starting in Philadelphia (we think), Carson Wentz will not be starting in Philadelphia (we know), Ryan Fitzpatrick will begin next season playing for his ninth NFL team, Sam Darnold’s a Panther, Matt Stafford’s a Ram, Jared Goff is a Lion and Dak Prescott’s still a Cowboy… finally.

Meanwhile, one aging quarterback, a man named Brady, has been enjoying his off-season, nursing an avocado tequila hangover and polishing yet another championship ring.

Football season, my friends, cannot come soon enough.

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4 Replies to “Quarterbacks, man”

  1. Didn’t Justin Herbert win ROY last year? What were his odds in May? If there were, of course…we were in full lock down back then.

    The Packers situation is the same as the one with Brett Favre in 2008, only the exact opposite. Back then, the team finally had moved on and Rodgers was ready to take the job only for Favre to return and demand it back. We all know how that turned out. This time, though, Love is nowhere near ready to be the starter, based on the fact that he was never even activated all last season. Some other guy was Rodgers back-up.

    In Philly, Jalen Hurts has one year to prove his worth. The Eagles will have two, maybe three 1st round picks in next year’s draft, will have a clean cap, and no fear to start over with a rookie. I’m very interested to see Sam Darnold in a semi-competent franchise after 3 years seeing ghosts with the genius Adam Gase. And what are the Broncos even doing?!?!

    As for my own Dallas Cowboys, after finally paying Dak and making him the highest paid QB not named Patrick (and in less time) the struggle to keep a solid team together will begin in one year. I hope Jerry knows what he’s doing and knows for a fact that the cap is about to balloon, otherwise we’ll have the same struggles the Eagles had in the past couple of years, but with no Lombardi to show for.

    At the end of the day, nothing matters. Brady will win ring number 8 and everybody else will be left wondering what went wrong and how to reload and try again.

  2. What are the odds that Kyle Trask is the Bucs starter in a couple of years?

  3. Teej…

    I remember the Favre/Rodgers drama. I also remember when the Niners decided to move on from Montana in favor of Young. Tough decisions, the both of them. As you suggest, I don’t think Love is anywhere near replacing Rodgers so I don’t get all the hullabaloo.

    This team was one bad call and one Rodgers bad read from making the Super Bowl. And he has one of the best (if not the best) wide receivers in the league. Plus now a pretty damn good running back.

    I still think his best bet to win is in Green Bay, unless he wants out of the NFC. And who wouldn’t with the Buccaneers roaming around?

    I also think you’re right about Hurts. As we both know, Philly fans are about as impatient as Rodgers so we’ll see how soon they pull that trigger.

    Re: the Broncos, I think they’re in full “Go After Rodgers” mode. As least that’s what their fan base is hoping. But how many years does he have left playing at the level he did last year? I don’t think that matters to Denver as they started Peyton until he could no longer throw a football.

    I looked into getting Cowboys-Bucs tickets Week One when they raise Brady’s banner. You’d be lucky to get in the building for under a grand. That being said, come on down and let’s party. You only live once.

  4. Deac…

    Probably pretty good. I’m hearing good things.

    It’s amazing how many picks this year went to the teams that wanted them at such late numbers.

    Harris to the Steelers. Etienne to the Jags and Trask to the Bucs.

    He’ll carry a clipboard for the next season or two and they’ll see how he progresses.

    I suppose there could be worse gigs.

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