Chumpservations, v. 42: The “Can’t We All Just Get Along” Edition (Sean Payton vs. Nathaniel Hackett; James Harden vs. Daryl Morey; and Michael Oher vs. Sandra Bullock)

This is the summer of our discontent, and we have quite the undercard to prove it.

It’s been an unbearably hot summer right here in the Sunshine State.  I say that because there’s currently sweat dripping on my keyboard.  Fortunately, global warming is still only a myth and those of us who have trouble breathing when we walk out the door are patiently waiting for the polar ice caps to melt this way.  Surfs up, Jack!

Today’s stove pot has been set to a constant simmer as this summer we’ve seen one coach denigrate another, an MVP distance himself from his long-time GM and a family blindsided by the man who made them famous.

Only weeks ago, a former-coach-turned-analyst-turned-coach-again rifled off some rather flippant remarks about his immediate predecessor.  Sean Payton got a little excited after seeing that Russell Wilson could still complete a pass, which is understandable considering it’s something he didn’t do much of last year.  As you’ll recall, the Broncos woefully underachieved in 2022, thanks in large part to their quarterback, who had one of the worst statistical seasons of his career.

Sean Payton was not coaching the Denver Broncos last year.  A man named Nathaniel Hackett was.  Payton was still working for Fox Sports in the broadcast booth.  Hackett, in his first (and only) year as head coach of the Broncos could not lead the horse to drink.  Under his watch, the Broncos finished with only four wins in fifteen games.  Far more was expected from that team after just signing a Super Bowl winning quarterback.  Hackett was relieved of his duties before the season ended. 

This off-season, Payton was hired to replace Hackett.  Not all his pictures had been taken off the wall before Payton got off this blast.  Payton called Hackett’s 2022 job “one of the worst coaching jobs in NFL history.”  Urban Meyer was not reached for comment.  Although perhaps partially true, Payton’s barbs were unquestionably unprofessional, breaking the code coaches generally hold about not badmouthing one another. 

Payton’s comments even got Aaron Rodger’s Jets’ colored panties in a wad.  Rodgers, who’d played (and once again plays) for Hackett, came to his coach’s defense.  Upon coming down from his mushroom-induced haze, Rodgers went full Will Smith and told Payton to “keep his coaches’ name out of his mouth.”

Payton has since apologized but not before kicking off a fiery off-season.  Be on the lookout for Week Five when the Denver Broncos travel to New York to play Aaron Rodgers and the offensive coordinator Sean Payton must now pretend to like.

Another former dynamic duo has shared some harsh words in a city once characterized by brotherly love.  These days, not so much.

Darryl Morey used to be the GM of the Houston Rockets.  His love for James Harden is well documented.  Harden had some of his best statistical years while playing in Houston, under Morey.  Morey ultimately left the Houston gig to go to Philly.  Harden soon followed.  It seemed that, despite Harden’s slowly declining skill set, Morey wanted him to be a part of any franchise with which he was involved.

I’m pretty sure that’s no longer the case.

I have no idea how close Morey and Harden were, one can only assume close, but I can assure you it’s considerably less today than it was yesterday.  In front of some media event, Harden went out of his way to call his (soon to be) former boss a liar and that he will no longer be a part of any organization Morey runs, which is ironic because currently, Harden is.

Nobody I know is a Daryl Morey fan.  The guy almost started World War III with his China comments but it’s also hard to side with Harden.  Harden wants out of Philly bad enough to throw his boss under the bus.  The problem for Harden, aside from his ever-expanding waistline and affinity for making it rain at strip clubs, is that the market for his services is not what it once was.  No contending team is willing to pay Harden the max money he’s asking, a) because he’s not the James Harden of yesteryear and b) he’s badmouthing his boss on the way out the door.  Harden is an old 33 and scored fewer points last year than in any other year he was logging major minutes.  I’m not sure GMs around the league are fond of Morey but they can’t be too keen on Harden either.

Morey didn’t overtly clap back understanding that Harden is just trying to find a way out of Philly but if there are no suitors for James, well, this season in Philadelphia could get interesting.  The question is who will pick up the steak dinner tab when they kiss and make up, if that’s even a possibility, and will they go to a strip club afterwards?  More importantly, how does all this squabbling affect the other MVP on their roster, Joel Embiid?

And finally, I’m sure we were all disappointed to learn this week that the Blind Side movie was entirely fabricated.  While I enjoyed the story, I never placed it in my all-time top ten sports movies, despite Sandra Bullock’s academy award.  The film, in case you haven’t seen it, involves former Baltimore Ravens offensive lineman Michael Oher, who was taken in by a family who felt he needed it.  For anyone slightly paying attention, we just assumed that the Tuohy family legally adopted him but only now, 14 years after the film’s release, Oher is stating that the family (the mother in the film portrayed by Bullock) never adopted him and that they’ve been profiting off his story.  Oher is seeking financial retribution for these mistruths.  I guess he never saw the film.  Side note: I just found out A Few Good Men isn’t real either and I’m devastated.

The movie would have us believe that all was well and good with Oher and family but apparently that is the furthest thing from the case.  Oher is arguing that the Tuohy family profited unfairly and far more than he off the movie rights and that they maintained conservatorship rights to make financial decisions on his behalf.

I’m not sure why all this stuff is coming out now, whether Oher has a legitimate beef, why he wasn’t properly compensated for his story, or even if he was, but the Oher-Tuohy story has reached Payton-Hackett, Harden-Morey levels of contention and it’s time for me to get my popcorn ready.

Please follow and like us:
Pin Share

One Reply to “Chumpservations, v. 42: The “Can’t We All Just Get Along” Edition (Sean Payton vs. Nathaniel Hackett; James Harden vs. Daryl Morey; and Michael Oher vs. Sandra Bullock)”

  1. The lawsuits created by people portrayed in Boys Don’t Cry, The Perfect Storm, and The Hurricane will still be worse than false depictions in The Blind Side. Why was The Hurricane ever created as a movie, seeing as the murder was obviously committed by one of the three men in the car.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *