The Angry Gambler Series, Part One: I Say Let Them Play

I’d like to introduce you to a new series entitled “The Angry Gambler.”

You see it everywhere these days, conversations online or overheard in person, where a sports fan, who would otherwise have no rooting interest in the outcome of a game, suddenly becomes a little more irritable when it comes to wins and losses, particularly if they don’t go their way.

It could be the most meaningless game in one of college basketball’s most obscure conferences with a midnight tip at a school you’ve never heard of, yet an unsuspecting buzzer-beater sends one into fits.  Or the night an all-star inexplicably churns out an all-suck performance.

Note:  This will NOT be a series about bad beats.  No one could give a flying fuck about those.  We’ve all experienced ‘em and everyone’s got some bullshit story that ends the same way.  No, this series will be about wagers we simply should not have placed for a myriad of reasons.  It will also give some of us the opportunity to vent.

Such was the case recently as this particularly unsuccessful (and increasingly angry) gambler took small stabs on the Lakers, the Clippers and James Harden.  If you know anything about gambling this season, those are three things one should stay away from.

But it was oh, so tempting. 

The Lakers had just come off an embarrassing 30-point loss to Minnesota from which they’d most certainly rebound, or so I’d thought.  The Clippers were at home, a small underdog to the same Timberwolves team that had struggled on the road.  I’d also mixed in some player props including one on James Harden to reach six assists for the game.  James Harden is currently tied for fifth in the league, dishing about 8.5 assists per game.  Six should have been a no-brainer.

You can already see where I’m going with this.  I hereby regrettably present… the Angry Gambler.

I should have known better to bet on the Lakers.  I mean, this is a horrible excuse for a team.  Defensively, they’re atrocious.  They rank bottom ten in the league in points allowed per game and bottom six in opponents’ field goal percentage.  They’re also bottom five in defending the perimeter.  All this defensive ineptitude despite starting one of the more intimidating defensive players in the game.  Offensively, they’re middle of the road at best relying far too much on their two best (and aging) players. 

Basically, the Lakers can’t beat good teams.  Prior to the Minnesota blowout, they got beat by Denver (by 25) and Phoenix (by 27).  After the disastrous showing in Minnesota, surely the Lakers would rebound down in Miami, playing in the same arena LeBron once brought two championships.

Wrong.

The Lakers lost to a mediocre Miami team who is looking to sell their roster for parts… BY 41 POINTS!!!  These are the kind of games that get coaches fired, if he hadn’t only recently been hired, and the kind of games that get players benched, if only these players didn’t have control over their own minutes.

Meanwhile, across the country in their brand-new arena they’ve done nothing to deserve, the Clippers have experienced similar struggles.  The Clippers lost at home by 28 in a game where they lost every quarter but the last, and the only reason they won the fourth quarter is because they didn’t play their starters!! 

James Harden, sitting on three assists when I needed six out of him to complete my parlay, didn’t play in the fourth quarter because his team was getting beaten so handily. 

Today’s NBA players hold all the power.  They get paid infinitely more than the men who coach them and can get those men fired on a whim if they don’t feel like they’re getting their way.  Never in a million years would a coach play a superstar with the game out of hand for fear of injury.  Can you imagine the wrath he’d receive?  It’s the first thing we say when we watch a game that’s reached the point of no return.  Why is that guy still out there?

BUT… when the team has played like absolute dogshit and the stars are the main reason for that, I say leave their asses out there and teach them a lesson.  They’re the ones who got you into that mess.  See to it that they get you out!

James Harden was 1-10 from the floor that night and 1-6 from three-point land.  His +/- was an abysmal -27.  It’s at this point, when you can’t find the ocean with a pebble that you PASS THE DAMN BALL!!

Mark James Harden’s Clippers and LeBron’s Lakers down as two teams I will no longer bet on until they’re double-digit underdogs, which should be soon the way both those teams are playing.

Running Angry Gambler Tally:

Lakers when they’re anything but huge underdogs (1)

Clippers when they’re anything but huge underdogs (1)

James Harden Assist Total (1)

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