LeBron James hates Donald Trump. And probably vice versa.
This stems back to Trump’s first presidency when the Golden State Warriors, after winning a championship, said they would turn down the annual presidential invite to the White House traditionally awarded championship teams.
The fight between these two cultural icons took place where all great fights take place these days: on the internet.
Now that Trump, currently is in his second term as future king, is doing pretty much whatever he wants, writing his own rulebook with the ink barely dry, I hereby suggest LeBron James do the same by Making the Knicks Great Again, but doing so with a fervently Trumpian flair.
Of course, LeBron is still contractually obligated to his current team, the Los Angeles Lakers, but by simply channeling his inner Trump, he’d be able to play wherever he pleased. After all, what’s the point of being the most powerful man in the universe, or in LeBron’s case the NBA, if you can’t wield a little power for your own benefit?
This trade isn’t as far-fetched as you think. Without boring you with all the trade machine, salary-matching nonsense, the Knicks could easily land LeBron without having to get rid of their two best players Jalen Brunson and Karl Anthony Towns.
Or LeBron could simply pardon himself and demand it.
If LeBron wanted out, I’m pretty sure both sides could make that happen, but James would have to go full LeBronald, displaying an unbearable amount of braggadocio without a modicum of self-doubt. You know, really lean into it. Red tie, blue suit, combover, the works.
Just as Trump calls himself the greatest president ever, LeDon could do the same, finally putting an end to the Michael-Kobe-LeBron argument simply because he said so.
If you recall, there were always rumors about Michael Jordan leaving Chicago to play in Madison Square Garden at some point in his career. There were also rumors of Kobe Bryant doing the same. Neither did so, opting to stay with the teams they’re most associated, compiling ring after glorious ring. Jordan – 6; Kobe – 5, Knicks – 0.
Inevitably compared to the legends that preceded him, LeBron has been far more nomadic, like a billionaire hotel chain owner turned reality TV star turned American President. Like Trump, LeBron’s a man of many careers, his early roots in Cleveland, then Miami, back to Cleveland again, then Los Angeles. At this point, why not say fuck it and play for the team in Donald’s hometown.
Considering all that he has done for the league, James is already grossly disliked, so why not do something Jordan and Kobe never did and bring a title to New York? What does he have to lose? Even the most ardent LeBron hater would have to acknowledge that winning in New York is something Michael or Kobe never had the balls to do, the utmost exclamation point for the city that never celebrates, cementing his legacy as the self-anointed, greatest player ever.
Morphing into LeBronald, he could bring back bold predictions of yesteryear, before he’d played a single minute in a Heat uniform, with new and improved campaign buttons that read “Not four! Not five! Not six!”
After forcing the trade, LeDonald could then grace us with soundbites like “This would be the best Knicks team ever” and “No fan had ever seen a Knick like him.” He could refer to the Lakers organization as “sleepy,” question their ability to get anything done and suggest he was single-handedly responsible for their sell-off. He could blast the league ratings stating, which is true, the Finals don’t draw without him. And he could Tweet endlessly at all hours of the night about how he’s the greatest to ever do it.
Ladies and gentlemen, from the White House Rose Garden to Madison Square Garden, I fearfully present King LeTrump James.
We need this. New York needs this. LeBron has never shied away from a good shit talk session. While he’s no Jordan or Bird when it comes to trash talk, a Rosetta Stone crash course into Trump Soundbites would fix all that.
Trump just sued 60 Minutes and won. You mean to tell me LeBron can’t wear 23 for the Knicks and finally create peace on the Middle East Side?
I say to you, LeBronald, ensure your legacy as the greatest player ever. Pass the Big Beautiful LeBron Bill and Make the Knicks Great Again because things can’t get any weirder.
