Week Four College/NFL Picks: DRealEmcee Joins an Increasingly Rude List of Houseguests 

Have you ever hosted a house-warming party where the guests turn foul?

I mean, they’re invited.  Shit, you invited them.  But they correct you every turn, tell you what furniture should go where, and worse yet… it turns out they’re right. 

As grateful as we are to have them, I’m afraid that’s what has gone on in our contest this year.

Kevin and I have invited a bunch of boastful, braggadocious know-it-alls to tell us what’s going on this football season and we can only shake our heads, for so far, they’ve been correct.

Through three weeks, our distinguished guests, Croshere, Milhouse and J-Dub have combined to go 10-4-1 against the spread while Kevin and I are struggling to make ends meet.

Our contestants have even resorted to talking trash, J-Dub cracking yo’ mama jokes and Milhouse taking a moment from his scotch-soaked sportsbook to remind me of his weekly stature.

What’s worse is that this week, we invite one of this contest’s heavy hitters, DRealEmcee, who has torched this contest the last three years, sitting at a cool and collected 15-4.

Here are our standings to date and where our first three contestants stand overall.

Celebrity Guests 10-4-1 $180

The Wife Hates Sports 7-8 $10

SportsChump 7-7-1 -$40

It’s hard to look at the lines with all this tomato on my face but seep through them I shall.  I’m still 2-1 in fantasy, alive in all four of my eliminator pools and somehow my Hard Rock account shows a positive balance.  So, let’s channel some winners.

Let’s start with…

$50 on Indianapolis Colts at Los Angeles Rams (-2 ½)

We’re coming up with nicknames now.  3-0 will earn you that honor.  All seems right in the Midwest with the Indianapolis Colts unexpectedly turning heads.  Jonathan Taylor is running his ass off, leading the league in rushing yards and yards per game.  And the newly nicknamed Daniel “Indiana” Jones has revived his career, leading the Colts to their undefeated start.  The problem is the Colts now face a legitimate defense.  While the Colts put up 29 against Denver, whose defense we suspect might not be as good as it was last year, they’ve also only played Miami and Tennessee, two of the worst teams in the league.  Sean McVay will undoubtedly game plan his top five defense into stifling Taylor and forcing Indiana Jones into bad decisions.  (Note: You can find Daniel Jones over 0.5 interceptions at +120.)  Do you remember how the real Indiana Jones was afraid of snakes?  Expect McVay to throw some snakes his way.  Indy’s defense hasn’t had to stop an offense like L.A.’s either.  I like the Rams to bring Indy’s hot QB back to earth so we can go back to calling him by his given name: Daniel Jones.  Rams minus the 2 ½.

$40 on Philadelphia Eagles (-2 ½) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Man, I hate to say it, but my Buccaneers are gassed.  They’ve lost mainstay Mike Evans to a two-to-four-week hamstring injury, are down three offensive linemen and are already stitching things together more than Dr. Frankenstein in his laboratory.  Tack on a sore bicep for Baker Mayfield and the Bucs are experiencing December-like injuries in September.  While the Eagles haven’t quite measured up to Super Bowl form, this is what championship teams do.  They bide their time and do just enough to win.  Philly is fresh off an emotional victory last week, when they came back from down 19 points to shock the Rams.  They’ll bring that momentum and unfortunate stale cheesesteak smell into the blistering Tampa heat to do enough to best our Buccaneers.  The line opened at 2 ½ and jumped to 3 ½ which means you could have found a middle if you looked closely enough.  Here’s hoping the Bucs play possum to sneak up and exact revenge in January for the loss they’ll experience in September.  Eagles cover the 2 ½ on the road.   

$30 on Tennessee Titans at Houston Texas (-6 ½)

I don’t know if I like throwing around “must-win” verbiage this early in the season, but the Houston Texans are 0-3 and have struggled immensely.  To be fair, they’ve played teams that are a combined 7-2.  Hosting the woeful Tennessee Titans couldn’t come at a better time.  CJ Stroud must get this team on the right track for their next two games are at Baltimore and Seattle, followed up by another two games against San Fran and Denver.  If Houston loses this game, they could conceivably be looking at an 0-8 start and not too many coaches can survive that.  I know they like DeMeco Ryans but he better right this ship ASAP or he’ll be polishing up his resume.  The Titans are statistically one of the worst teams in the league on defense and aren’t much better on offense either.  We’re not a month into the season and the Titans have already changed who is calling their plays.  In this divisional rivalry, that might not matter much as Houston regains their swag and covers the 6 ½.

$20 on Baltimore Ravens at Kansas City Chiefs (over 48)

If you’re like the rest of America, you watched the Lions score at will against the Ravens.  You probably also saw the Bills do the same thing on opening night.  Week 2 excluded, where Baltimore handled the Browns, the Ravens have had a tough opening schedule and now travel to Kansas City.  Fortunately for them, these are not your older brother’s Chiefs.  Kansas City has been barely able to score the football, at least not at the rate they’re accustomed to.  The good news for KC is Baltimore is coming to town, their defense as porous as a brick of Swiss cheese infested with a family full of mice.  When they’re not fumbling the football, Baltimore remains one of the most talented offenses in the league.  Until Coach Harbaugh can figure out what the hell is going on with his defense, they’ll continue to be unreliable, and I will continue to bet every Ravens game over.  This one’s only 48.  The Chiefs will look to gain back some of their mojo and what better team to do so against than the Ravens. Baltimore is allowing 32 points per game, good enough for second worst in the league.  They’re also the highest scoring offense in the league, putting up 37 a clip.  37+32 = 69.  69 > 48.  That’s all I need to know.  This game goes over the number of 48.

$10 on Louisiana State Tigers at Ole Miss Rebels (-1 ½)

We haven’t bet much on the NCAA lately so let’s give it the old college try.  With the traditional SEC powerhouses going through the motions, one school is surprisingly flying under the radar.  That team is Ole Miss.  Coach Kiffin once again has his team up to its old tricks. They’re top 12 in the nation in scoring, featuring a pass-happy yet well-balanced offense.  While LSU’s young quarterback is all the rage these days, Nussmeier already hearing his name mentioned atop many draft boards, LSU hasn’t looked like a fourth ranked team in the nation.  They won at Clemson which, which in retrospect doesn’t seem all that impressive and they only beat Florida 20-10 in Death Valley at night, a game they should have run away with.  Ole Miss is easily the best team LSU has faced this early in the season.  These highly contested matchups have gone to the home team each of the last five years.  I see no reason to think this shouldn’t happen a sixth.  Ole Miss wins at home this Saturday and covers the 1 ½.

Celebrity Guest: DRealEmcee (Career 15-4, $360)

Hello Friends, I’m back once again for my yearly drop in to win you some cold hard cash or at least bring you even because you’ve been a degenerate and have to pay people back before you get iced out.

For me, I’ve gone exclusively towards team totals and simple over/unders nowadays, so I put this disclaimer, whichever team total I bet, in most cases I like their point spread also. Also I implore you to bet these as straight bets, not parlays. But if the parlay wins, pay me later.

So let’s get to it…

1. Auburn @ Texas A&M- OVER 51.5– this season has shown to me that Hugh Freeze can still coach an offense, even though he is a serial purveyor of the nightwalkers.. Defense, not so much. A&M under Coach Elko has a legit shot to win the SEC, if things fall right. This game has shootout written all over it.
2. Arizona (+7) @ Iowa State- This is essentially a fade against Iowa State, even though they won in Ireland in week 0, and beaten Iowa, they’ve not been impressive, even in their wins, by no more than 1 score vs FBS teams. (Their one blowout win was vs an FCS school). Give me the Wildcats and the points.
3. Rice @ Navy- Over 44.5 – The total is much too low here, Navy at home can put up points, Rice primarily is a rush first offense, not many passes… but they’re effective. Navy’s D is rather suspect. This could totally backfire if both teams shit the bed in the red zone or start turning the ball over, but can certainly see a 30-20 or 27-20 type of game.
4. On to NFL- Texans Team Total OVER 22.5 (-135) vs Titans – this is pretty much a hunch play, Titans have given up at least 20 points in every game this year, the worst of those offenses was Denver on the road where the Titans defense gave up 20 points to Bo Nix on opening day to begin his sophomore slump. Other than that, Tennessee has given up 33 to the Rams at home, then 41 last week to Indiana Jones. If the Texans are gonna save their season, they’re gonna have to come out with a big performance from CJ Stroud and co. this week. As an aside. I don’t like this bet because the Texans have been god-awful, but I think Houston finds a way to get me 23 points and wins something like 23 to 13. Also, if you’re feeling frisky and think this game could still get you a semi shootout like the last two weeks have gone for Tennessee, their team total starts at 13.5, which is not the worst bet in the world -but I just can’t get myself to bet on Cam Ward scoring points on the road against the Houston defense right now.
5. Finally, Jags Team Total Over 20.5 (-125)– this bet is essentially betting on Liam Coen and his offense more than anything else, the 49ers defense, as usual has plenty of guys hurt, they’re starting Mac Jones, which should in theory get the Jags defense at least 1- 3 turnover worthy plays which could set them up in pretty good field position, so as long as Trever Lawrence doesn’t shit the bed or Etienne has a dumbass fumble. Jags are gonna get you around 14 points at a minimum, so you’re really looking for some turnover/special teams luck, and/or just Coen’s offense going off to get you that extra touchdown Plus. Worth noting, Coen, as OC of the Bucs scored 20 vs this same SF defense (but different scheme) last year, and as an assistant under McVay and the Rams, is well aware of the 49ers defense under Robert Salah, who’s back as DC this year.

Extra goodies: Since I only do this once a year, I’d like to thank Chris for allowing me to try to win you all some money and as a special treat, here are 2 other games which I’m not super confident on, but from my research and kind of following people who know what the hell they’re talking about have hyped these two games as good possibilities… So here you go..

Bama/UGA- Over 52.5

Washington + 10 vs Ohio state

KP’s Picks: The Wife Hates Sports

$50: Los Angeles Chargers (-6) at New York Giants

I’m leaning hard on Harbaugh and the Chargers so far this season. This week? No different. Who trusts Brian Daboll and the hapless Giants at this point? Daboll reportedly loves… LOVES rookie Jaxson Dart, who will be starting and replacing Russell Wilson this week in New York. The fans will be pumped. Maybe Daboll will land a bullseye with Dart. But with game one facing a talented and balanced Chargers team? I’m not so sure. To add some stats into the mix, the Chargers are 6th in total offense and 2nd in passing. The Giants, meanwhile, are 31st in total defense. Outside of cross country travel, this seems like a mismatch. L.A. has more depth. It all comes down to Dart in his debut. Chargers cover on the road.

$40: Alabama Crimson Tide at Georgia Bulldogs (-2.5)

This rivalry hit hard for years, but does it really feel that way this year? Seriously though? Things change in rivalries, but Alabama just doesn’t have the “it factor” with Kalen DeBoer as the HC in Tuscaloosa. A 14-point loss at Florida State was a surprise at the time, but the 24-point win over Wisconsin shouldn’t make the team think they are back. The Badgers are not a strong team in 2025. Georgia found a way at Tennessee two weeks ago and has had a bye to prepare. It comes down to Georgia QB Gunnar Stockton, who was outstanding at Tennessee (23-31, 304 yards passing, 38 yards rushing, 3 total TD). If he’s clicking against Alabama’s defense, then it won’t be close. Bank on it. Georgia covers at home.

$30: Oregon Ducks (+3.5) at Penn State Nittany Lions

Oh, my alma mater… Penn State. The Nittany Lions are doing all the right things. PSU is enhancing Beaver Stadium, reeling in recruits, and increasing NIL focus. So many players could have bolted for the NFL, but didn’t. This is arguably the most talented PSU team since I was a student there. Let’s keep the dates aside – it’s not pretty. So here we are – marquee coordinators and all. Yet, Penn State has been flat on offense facing weak opponents. Oregon, meanwhile, has not. Neither team is all that battle tested. The White Out is an incredible environment, but everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – knows James Franklin’s record in big games. I’m winless in the $30 slot, and that’s why this pick is here. I’ve never wanted to be more wrong in my life. Give me Oregon and the points on the road.

$20: Chicago Bears (+1.5) at Las Vegas Raiders

Who are you, Ben Johnson? Chicago certainly showed some offensive spark against the Cowboys last week. On the flip side, the Raiders opened the door for the Commanders to gain yards in every way, shape, and form. So what gives with this line? It’s obvious that the Raiders want to become more consistent offensively, especially considering its 30th ranked rushing offense. Ashton Jeanty has got to be better than this, right? Vegas’s O-line, too? I’m banking on Ben Johnson – that and the fact that Chicago has been strong in the turnover ratio column, too. Give me the Bears and the points on the road.

$10: Ohio State Buckeyes (-8) at Washington Huskies

Pretty hard debate on this one and whether to include it. Cross country travel has impacted opponents in the Big Ten. Still, if you’re the supposed number one team, you find a way. People say this Washington offense is strong… and they do rank well (9th in rushing, 15 TD, 30th in passing, 6 TD, 0 INT). The Huskies average nearly 56 points a game, but have faced Washington State, Colorado State, and UC Davis. Usually that in-state rivalry would be something, but the Cougars gave up 59 points to North Texas two weeks ago. Enter the talent rich Buckeyes that are allowing 5.3 ppg. Washington will hang for a bit, but lose steam in the second half. Ohio State covers on the road.