An entire nation of sports fans had just watched a captivating football game, one of the best of this long season. The winner would play for a national title; the loser would go home.
Miami versus Ole Miss, two teams no one expected to see in football’s Final Four.
One program, coach-less, surfing through constant controversy, the coming and going of assistants and star quarterbacks all we could talk about. The Rebels remained the only, and perhaps unlikeliest, SEC team standing, yet there they were. Miami, who many felt didn’t even belong in the playoffs, still alive, thanks in large part to a transfer quarterback who’d already won a title elsewhere, a cultural shift, and apparently, Kirk Herbstreit.
The game was back and forth; the very reason ESPN paid such a pretty penny for the college playoffs. After four fourth-quarter lead changes, Miami would emerge victoriously.
Their program officially back on the map, the Hurricanes will be playing for their sixth national championship, their first since 2001. On top of that, their opponent will have a tough task, as this year’s national championship will be played not only in their hometown but on the school’s very own field: Hard Rock Stadium. Good luck.
But a funny thing happened minutes after the game, although I suppose funny isn’t the right word choice for anyone who has ever watched a moment of ESPN’s self-aggrandizing sports coverage.
I remember when Kirk Herbstreit first came into our homes. In the grand scheme of things, he hasn’t been doing college games all that long. For us old heads, the 1990s wasn’t that long ago.
It didn’t take long for Herbstreit, let’s call him Herbie since that’s what all ESPN personalities do, to become a staple on the network. His charming, good looks, his easily understandable game breakdowns, not a whiff of controversy, he quickly became the network’s main college football guy.
Apparently, these days, he’s changing programs as well.
As soon as the Miami game ended, the confetti all fallen to the ground, ESPN went back to set where Scott Van Pelt interviewed both Herbstreit and his counterpart Chris Fowler who had just called the game. After breaking down Miami’s victory, it didn’t take long for Herbstreit… to take credit for it.
I did a double take.
Did a program that hadn’t won a meaningful game in ages, that hadn’t won a title in two decades, suddenly owe their success to a broadcast personality, one who went to a rival school even?
I immediately found it odd that Herbstreit would take credit for the win, as if he’d played a down. I was further confounded that Fowler had seconded the notion.
I immediately did what all keyboard warriors do. I turned to the internet to see if anyone had heard the same thing. I even posted and rewound to the part where (listen below) Herbstreit credits himself for the rebirth of the Miami program.
What the fuck?
I was all ready to tear him a new one, explaining how ESPN had sunk to new lows, seemingly impossible for them, its personalities drawing attention away from the kids and the effort to take all the credit for themselves.
Twitter followers piled on, questioning his comments as well. Had Herbie finally gone bananas?
Then one sensible follower responded that the Miami program credits Herbstreit for them getting their act together.
Huh? How could this be true?
Anyone who watched college football in the 1980s, particularly the late 80s, remembers Miami’s reign of terror. Their footprint represented a modernization of the game and the reason animated Michael Irvin still shows up on the sidelines, belt in hand, never shying away from trash talk.
Theirs, is a culture. As much as so many of us hate it, it cannot be denied.
Theirs was also a program that had lost its way. Until, apparently, Kirk Herbstreit put a spur in the program’s ass like Irvin with a waistbelt.
Halfway through writing a scathing piece blasting Herbstreit for being swallowed whole by the whale that is ESPN, I stopped mid-paragraph and searched the internet to find out that the U does allegedly credit Herbstreit for righting their ways, for the hiring of Mario Cristobal, and for the powers that be to all get on the same page.
Apparently, they even call him Herbie.
Now that Miami will play for a title in its own stadium, a victory party all but reassured, a parade with Michael Irvin undoubtedly leading the way, I suppose the Mayor of Coral Gables will give Kirk Herbstreit a key to its city. He’ll never have to wait in line at any of those posh South Beach nightclubs, regaling him with Cristal at a moment’s notice. They’ll bring him out for halftime of Heat games to wave to his adoring fans. And he’ll never have to pay for a drink anywhere in that town again, which is good because that place ain’t cheap.
So, remember, football fans. The next time you grimace at the sight of Michael Irvin taking off his belt to whip some inanimate object wearing an opposing jersey, perhaps even your alma mater’s, you only have Kirk Herbstreit to thank.
Enquiring minds want to know-
How many Chiltons did you have to make on New Year’s Day?
Fortunately, I was off NYD but I can’t imagine there weren’t too many Red Raiders fans looking for the offense at the bottom of a bottle.
What the hell happened?
Well, if you listen to the talking heads on television, we fell victim to the curse of the bye week. I see things a little differently. Of the four teams with the bye, only Indiana chose to receive the opening kickoff. Why is that important? Indiana was the only team with a bye that won. Taking the opening kickoff allowed them to set the tone of the game(remember what I said about BYU in the Big XII championship? That’s why I said it would have been a different game if Bachmeier hadn’t twisted his ankle). The Tech offense never really found its rhythm, and the defense couldn’t do it all by themselves.
The bright spot is that Tech is on the map now, and other teams are worried even if they refuse to admit it. LSU offered Joey McGuire an insane amount of money to ditch Tech; Joey said absolutely not(which then led to Lane Kiffin pulling a Tommy Tuberville). One thing I’m pretty certain about after all these years is that Texas Tech will be back.