NBA First Round Playoff Haikus

My buddy in the Midwestern quadrant of Blogsville occasionally writes posts in haiku form.

I’m not sure where this comes from.  He’s not Asian although, by the looks of it, he may have been born a giant panda bear in a previous life.  He bears a striking resemblance.

Driving home from work after an exhausting shift, and an even more exhausting Saturday of basketball peeking, I could have easily analyzed the collection of Games Three in long form but decided instead to 5-7-5 it for brevity’s sake.

You can seek more drawn-out breakdowns elsewhere but that’s unnecessary if you did your own deep dive into this glorious collection of games.

It’s only the first round and there’s already a lot going on: eight’s upsetting ones, fisticuffs after trash talk, a new breed of player and the old farts still going strong.  There have been forty-point bench performances and devastating season-ending injuries, all in the same damn game.  So, let’s get poetic, shall we?

Orlando Magic

Magic are my faves

Early trade talk ‘bout Paolo

Grossly premature

Detroit Pistons

One seed gets your far

Unless Cade’s your only threat

Who’s the one seed now?

Oklahoma City Thunder

Seen this all before

Repeat champs will beat you down

Shai just can’t be stopped

Phoenix Suns

Devin’s rosy cheeks

Are no match for SGA

This a playoff team?

New York Knicks

Panic in Times Square

Hawks looked like the better team

Until KAT went off

Atlanta Hawks

Took the Knicks to Six

Solid young core to build on

Brunson is their bane

Denver Nuggets

Joker starting fights

Pissed about what Wolves have said

Guess they must be right

Minnesota Timberwolves

Ant Man broken leg

Donte V is also done

Fun while it lasted

Cleveland Cavaliers

Harden playing well

Could he be just what they need?

Only time will tell

Toronto Raptors

Weakest team left in

Shocked they stole one from Spider

‘Joy it while it lasts

San Antonio Spurs

Wemby hit the floor

How long until he returns

That’s a long fall down

Portland Trailblazers

Biggest upset yet

Or at least it would have been

Had they won Game Three

Boston Celtics

Tatum’s sweet return

Could be East’s most complete team

‘Til they face the Knicks

Philadelphia 76ers

Maxey’s fun to watch

Joel Embiid has to agree

Best seat in the house

Los Angeles Lakers

Bron is fucking old

41 he dunks on you

Carrying this team

Houston Rockets

Shitshow in H-Town

Never replaced Fred Vanvleet

Where the fuck’s KD?

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One Reply to “NBA First Round Playoff Haikus”

  1. Continue your poem about how every time that the Miami Marlins are mentioned, the response is that they’ve won two World Series. Even though it was only because nobody on planet Earth was prepared to play against Josh Beckett. Everybody focuses on the positive times for the Marlins and Orlando Magic, whereas everyone wants to focus on the negative times for Tampa Bay Lightning and Buccaneers. (Don’t even start about how every day I open up facebook.com, there’s mention of Buccaneers NFC Championship game against St. Louis Rams). Every day is an exhausting shift, with crossing paths with Americans who don’t know when to place the positive aspects on the positive athletic teams.

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