There’s a gentleman who comes into my bar who goes by the name of Sarge. I can only assume he comes from a military background. I don’t know too many people who give themselves unearned, war-time nicknames. It’s not like Continue reading Living a concierge-less existence
What better way to spend a depressed afternoon than with a triple feature starring zygotes, dread-locked aliens and a giant, prehistoric shark? I’m not a huge action movie buff. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen plenty of ‘em. I just Continue reading Thursday’s triple-feature: The Predator, The Meg and Venom
“Honesty is such a lonely word.” – Billy Joel I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I’ve never bet on baseball. I cannot tell a lie, I did chop down that cherry tree. Blatant mistruths have been Continue reading Drugs, lies and Brian Cushing’s everlasting erection
Oiled up, buns up, I lay there on the massage table. After all, tending bar for forty-plus hours a week and writing for nearly that many requires some painstaking, preventive maintenance. As she and I always do, the official licensed Continue reading The contest to end all contests, so to speak
“Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir.” -Judge Smails I’ve been puzzled by this whole online, fantasy football gambling, Draft Kings, Fan Duel thing for quite some time. Something just seemed odd about it. For example, if it is illegal Continue reading Waging the war on wagering
Phony I came home the other morning to find a phone book sitting on my front door step. They’ve gotten considerably smaller over the years. I grew up in New York City. Back then, we had three separate phone books Continue reading Chumpservations, Vol. 30: Phone books, sneaker pimps, oddball gratuities and the world’s most famous Heimlich
Well, that was a riveting Super Bowl. Not! If you feel bad about not being entertained, consider the fact that the most watched program in US television history was even more of a downer for Colorado residents and those bearing Continue reading Super Bowl Tweets better than the game itself
I’ve worked in the bar industry for quite some time. Every once in a while, one drunken sot at the bar takes offense to the way another drunken sot at the bar is looking at him and shit goes down. Continue reading Modern Athletes I Would Want On My Side If A Bar Fight Broke Out
We haven’t had a good caption contest in quite some time, so here goes nothing.
1991 was a simpler time in America.